Never Let Go
by PrincessSwifty
Summary: Death is here... he is after me...' T.K is dying in hospital, Tai is dying, Kari's world is falling apart as she knows it... can anyone survive? [Darkness...the sweet oblivion that all is falling for...]
1. Chapter 1 somebody help me

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon…unfortunately.

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Never Let Go.

T.K began coughing violently again.

"T.K, are you alright?" I asked, worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just my cold." T.K answered, giving me a small smile.

T.K had been sick like this for a few days, and it had been getting worse. We were in drama, and we were trying to create a small play on friendship. I was with T.K, Davis (damn), Yolei and one of my other friends, Miya. Davis wanted to be my boyfriend in the play, but I simply refused. Yolei wanted to have a boyfriend, so I joked that she should go with Davis. She looked totally revolted at the idea of Davis being her boyfriend. My other friend, Miya, really didn't care what part she played, and just hung around, listening to Davis plead with me to be my boyfriend. T.K just sat there, in the corner, leaning back with his eyes closed. I was worried about him. Davis interrupted my thoughts by asking for any suggestions. I swear, I could punch that jerks face in…

Finally, we worked out a play. Davis stopped bugging me, and T.K finally stood up. He wobbled a bit, looking queasy, and I grew more worried about him. We were the second group to perform. The first group were good. Next, were us. We set up the stage, and T.K just leaned against the wall, and held his head in his hands. Soon, the room fell silent, signalling for us to start. Davis and Yolei sat in the background, watching T.K and I walking into the middle of the stage. T.K's balance was getting worse, and I grabbed his hand. I distinctly heard Davis growl in the background. T.K smiled at me. He began to speak.

"This is a typical friendly greeting."

He continued, "Hi Kari. How are you?"

"I'm fine thanks, and you?" I replied.

"I'm…I'm…" he began. He started to lose his balance.

"T.K?" I asked, holding onto him. His eyes closed and he fell to the floor.

"T.K!" I said, panic in my voice as I dropped to his side. Everyone else came and crowded around. I held his hand firmly. I felt so scared for T.K. The teacher pushed through the crowd and dropped next to T.K.

"OK," she ordered, "Someone, Yolei, run down to the nurse's office and alert the nurse what has happened. Kids, could you please move back to let T.K get some air."

Everybody moved back. I began to shiver. He was just lying there, white as a ghost. Miya came and knelt by my side, and put her arms around me. She knew how much I loved him. I heard Davis grunt. Obviously this is the thing he wanted, so now he thinks he can get with me. That's it. I've had it with that bastard. I got up, parted through the crowd, and found Davis leaning against the wall, arms folded. 

"Spit it out jerk." I spat at him

"What?" said Davis, staring back blankly.

"You selfish little prat…" I said, evilly, before I lunged at him, and began wrestling him to the ground. The whole class looked on, as I began strangling Davis. The teacher, looking over from T.K, saw us wrestling, and began shouting at us. But then, the nurse came up, with a couple of male P.E teachers. Yolei, along with Miya and a couple of Davis' friends (only a couple) split us up. The P.E teachers then lifted T.K onto a stretcher, and took him downstairs. I began to chase after them, and Yolei and Miya soon joined me. 

Sirens. People coming to the sick bay, transporting the immobile form of a young boy from a bed to a stretcher, and carrying it all the way down to where the ambulance was parked. I followed them down, but the van drove away, without me. The last I saw of the young boy was his face- white, and sad.

Next chapter up soon!


	2. Chapter 2 telephone

Disclaimer: Nope…still don't own it…

Please note: I'm sorry if I offended anyone by making Kari swear in the last chapter. Remember…she's not herself…

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I stopped at the office, shivering, and went to call Matt and Tai, at Odaiba Junior High. I'm sure that they would want to know, especially Matt. I asked the receptionist, and she handed me the phone. I dialled the number, and heard a voice on the other line.

"Odaiba Junior High School, how may I help you?"

"Hello?" I said shakily, "Could I please speak to Yamato Ishida and Taichi Kamiya, they're both in year 8."

"I'm sorry, the students here aren't allowed to receive phone calls during school hours."

"But…this is an emergency…" I added.

"Oh, OK. Please hold…" I hear in the background, "Could Yamato Ishida and Taichi Kamiya of year 8 please report to the office, thank you." 

I wait.

Soon I hear, "Excuse me, who would you like to speak to first?"

"Taichi please." I say politely.

"Hello?" I hear Taichi say.

"Hi Tai!" I say, "It's Kari."

"Kari?! What're you calling me for? I'm at school y'know. So are you!"

"I…I've got some bad news Tai…"

"What? What about?"

"It's about T.K…"

"What?"

"T.K, he…collapsed during drama and he's…gone."

"Gone? Gone where? Kari!"

"He's at the hospital…"

"Oh, (pause) do you want to speak to Matt?"

"Yeah, OK." I say, quietly.

(On the other end) 

"Tai? What's up?" Matt asks Tai, almost desperately, after reading the look on Tai's face. (Tai also knew of Kari's love for T.K.) 

"Kari wants to talk to you." Said Tai, handing him the phone.

"Hello? Kari?"

"Hi Matt."

"What's up? What's wrong?"

"It's T.K…"

"What?!"

"He…he fainted during drama. He was coughing pretty badly, then when we got up to perform, he collapsed."

"Where is he? In the sick-bay?"

"No, he's…at the hospital."

"Oh, (pause) Kari?"

"Yeh…"

"Do you love T.K?" ("What?!" Tai says, looking at Matt weirdly)

"Well, um…"

"Look, I'd better call my mum, and my dad. You'd better get back to school. I'll see ya later, OK?"

"Yeah…"

(Tai gets the phone off Matt) "Kari, are you still there?" Tai says.

"Yeah…"

"Mum is still at home, so if you don't feel well, you can go home. OK?"

"Yeah… thanks Tai." I hang up the phone.

(At Odaiba Junior High)

"Kari loves T.K right?" Matt asks.

"Yeah, she does. That's probably why she sounded so sad." Tai answers.

"Yeah, well, I'd better call my parents and break it to them."

"You make it sound like he's dead or something."

"Kari made it sound like that too. Besides, my parents will probably react that way, most likely my mum."

"Ok, well, I guess I'll see ya at lunch?"

"Maybe."

"OK. See ya."

"See ya"

(At Odaiba Primary School)

"Thank you" I said, handing back the phone.

"That's OK darling." Said the receptionist. I walked up the stairs, to the third floor. This was where my drama class was. I walked by the sickbay, and went inside to ask the nurse a question.

"Excuse me nurse?" I asked, as I peered into the office.

"Yes Kari dear?" answered the nurse.

"I was wondering, why was T.K taken away in an ambulance? He only fainted."

"Oh. Well, T.K was getting a high fever. His temperature was going higher every minute, so they took him to the hospital." Answered the nurse, looking a little worried. I hung my head.

"I knew something was wrong with him. Why didn't I tell someone, or why didn't he tell someone?" I asked myself, angrily, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Kari, are you OK sweetheart?" asked the nurse nicely. I didn't answer. I left the room, heading down to the drama hall to collect my stuff. When I got there, I found my pencil case, my books, and T.K's hat. I tried to hold back the tears, and I almost succeeded. I grabbed it all, and ran back to my homeroom.

Next chapter…soon…


	3. Chapter 3 dreams

Disclaimer: Be patient my little ones…

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At lunchtime, Yolei and Miya were sitting with me, talking. But I wasn't listening. I was thinking about what Tai had said to me. 

"Mum is still at home, so if you don't feel well, you can go home. OK?"

"Kari? Hello? Earth to Kari?" said Miya, looking in my face.

"Hello? Wakie wakie Kari!" Yolei added. I just stared into space, and decided to go home. I couldn't concentrate. I got up, said, "I'm not feeling well, I'm going to the sick bay." and walked off. I went there, said I didn't feel well, and the nurse asked if my mum was home, answered yes, and was soon being driven off home. I went straight to bed, and fell into an uneasy sleep.

I was lying in a hospital bed. I saw some figures huddled around me; they were all a bit blurry. I could just make out Tai, because he was the closest to me. He looked younger than now. He looked about seven. He was wearing his beloved goggles, and he looked like he was troubled and sad. I saw two other figures, taller than Tai. Must be my parents. They were talking to another person, though this one was wearing white, and holding a folder. I don't understand. Suddenly, I begin to feel hot, and I hear beeping, and the rushing of feet. Tai is pushed out of the way, and more people loom over me. My vision gets blurrier, I hear longer beeping in the distance, my parents begin to cry, I hear people saying that my heart rate is slowing down dangerously. My eyes close, the beeping becomes one long tone, I just hear my parents scream, my brother cry. My heart stopped, my parents are in depression, and my brother, Tai…

I wake up with a start. Tai is standing over me.

"Good afternoon Kari." He says pleasantly.

"Where am I? What time is it?" I ask, confused. I wipe the cold sweat off my face. 

"It's 4:00pm, and schools just finished, well for me that is." Tai answers.

"Oh. Did Matt call his parents?"

"Yeah. They were pretty upset, so they came and picked up Matt, and took him with them to the hospital, but Matt went home after an hour, saying he needed to get to band practise, which should finish about now. He also said that he's going back to the hospital, to see his parents and T.K, and asked if you wanna come. Mum said that I have to go with you though."

"That's fine. When do we meet Matt?"

"Just outside the apartment block. Matt said he'll meet us there, then we'll catch the bus to the hospital."

"Oh, OK."

"Don't worry Kari. T.K'll be fine." and with that, Tai left. I lay back down on the bed, beginning to think about stuff, before Tai, once again, popped his head in the door, and said,

"I also heard that you had a fight with Davis" Tai smiled "Go Kari!"

"Thanks Tai." I said, smiling to myself. I actually thought I was funny, because the whole world knows that Davis wants me, but I want T.K. I re-did my hair, tied my shoes, and followed Tai down the stairs to meet Matt.

Next chapter…coming soon to a computer near you!


	4. Chapter 4 meetings

Disclaimer: I'm still trying…

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"Hey Tai. Hey Kari." I heard Matt say, as we walked through the doors of our apartment building.

"Hey Matt." Tai answered. I noticed the look on Matt's face was a worried one.

"How's T.K.?" I asked. I had to know.

Matt hung his head. His answer wasn't an easy one. He knew it would affect Tai and Kari more than the rest.

"He has pneumonia."

Memories flashed through Tai's head. He knew that Kari had pneumonia when she was little, because of him. He remembered when she almost died one night in the hospital. He remembered the stressed look on his parent's faces, as Kari lay there. 

He also remembered when they were in the digital world, and Kari collapsed. He remember when Izzy and him went off looking for medicine, and he told Izzy of what happened those years ago. 

Kari also had thoughts of when she was sick with pneumonia. Only she didn't know the emotions shared by the rest of her family. She was trying to stay alive. But, she also remembered her dream she had previously. 

They both hung their heads in their own sad memories.

"Tai? Kari?" Matt said, looking at their faces. They were in another dimension to him. Finally, Tai looked up, his eyes were pitch black. He blinked, and his eyes returned to normal.

"Sorry Matt." He said, pretty clearly.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked.

"Well, it's just, well…" he sighed "when Kari was little, she had pneumonia too, and, I…I was the reason she got it. She was home from kindergarten, because she didn't feel well, and I wanted to play soccer, so I took her out, thinking she would like to play too. I kicked her the ball, she kicked it back, but it went off in another direction. So when I picked it up and turned around to see her, she'd passed out. She nearly died…" Tai said, trailing off on the last sentence. Matt looked at him with pity on his face. I however, was still in my reverie. I couldn't forget my dream. I looked at Tai: his head hung in shame as he recalled the memories. I came out of my reverie by just looking at his sad, remorseful face. I didn't know what to say. I guess it was good that I didn't try to comfort him, because I knew that whatever that I did, it wouldn't help him in the slightest. Matt turned to me.

"What about you?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing," I lied. I didn't want to tell him.

"Well, do you two still want to go to the hospital?" Matt asked gently, knowing that maybe they couldn't handle it, because of their previous experiences.

"Yes, I want to go," I said strongly, "but Tai," I turned to him, "you don't have to come if you don't want to." I didn't want to hurt him.

"No, I said I'll come…" he answered, "for emotional support." I felt a rush of gratitude towards him. He would do all this for me…

Nextus chapterus willus beus upus soonus


	5. Chapter 5 emotions

Disclaimer: There is still hope…

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We got out of the bus, and saw the massive, white building loom over us. I felt Tai recoil suddenly, and I realised that this is the very same hospital that I was in when I was sick. We walked inside, and I definitely felt Tai withdraw. I held his hand as a sign of comforting and gratitude. Matt took us to the elevator and up to the fourth floor. We walked along three corridors before we reached the room. Matt went in first. I followed. I recoiled at the sight of T.K. He was lying there, white as his sheets, connected to masses of wires to many machines. His mother was at his side, almost as white as he was, grasping his hand. I felt a rush of sympathy towards her. She looked up at us, tears glistening in her eyes, already tear-streaks down her cheeks. Matt quickly walked towards her, and the minute he got near, she flung her arms around him, and cried on him. I watched them there; the deep sorrow felt between them, it was all too much. My legs gave way, and I broke down totally. Tai caught me, and I cried on him. He picked me up, and carried me out of the doorway. He put me down again on the floor and knelt next to me, and hugged me. I felt shivers running through him as my head rested on his chest. He was going through an emotional battle as well.

"It's all my f-fault…" I sobbed into his t-shirt. He stroked my hair.

"No, it's not… it's ok Kari…" he replied.

"It is my f-f-fault!" I sobbed back, " I kn-knew he was sick, I just d-d-didn't help!"

"You didn't know, it's ok…" he soothed. His voice was comforting, but the constant shivers were no relief, me knowing that he was going through so much. I turned back to T.K., looking at him lying there, so helpless, so vulnerable, so sick… I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped up, startling Tai, and ran out of the room, hurtling down the corridor, Tai in hot pursuit. I heard him calling my name, but I ignored him. I was blinded by tears, and didn't see the trolley that I was rapidly approaching, and I collided head-on with it and crashed against the wall. Pain flooded my head as I saw a blurred outline of Tai kneel down beside me, before I passed out.

"Will she be ok?"

"I hope so. Man, that was one hard hit against the wall though. She's been out for a while."

"Yeh, well. Poor thing."

"Yeh. She cares so much for T.K. She's beating herself up pretty badly about it though. Nothing I say comforts her."

"Well, think about it. When she was sick, did anything anyone said comfort you or your parents?"

"Well, no. I guess you have a point. How is T.K. anyway?"

There was a pause. " Nothing's changed…"

All this was slowly passing through my brain. My head was pounding severely. I groan.

"Oh! She's awake!" I hear Tai exclaim. I open my eyes. Blurry forms of two people slowly come into focus, and I soon see Tai and Matt looking at me intently. They both looked relieved.

"Good morning!" Tai says brightly.

"What-where am I?" I ask thickly. I try to move my head, but it sears with pain.

"Your still in the hospital, in the waiting room, hogging four chairs!" Tai says sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, I'll move." I reply, and try to get up. But Tai holds me down.

"You're not going anywhere." He says firmly.

"I agree," says a lot gloomier voice that I recognise as Matt's. Tears well up in my eyes.

"I'm so s-s-sorry Matt!" I begin to sob, "I didn't m-mean to-"

"You didn't do anything wrong Kari," Matt finished, "everyone is to blame. I could've been more wary about it too." He hung his head.

Tears rolled down my cheeks.

"How's your head?" Tai asks, interrupting the sad, heavy silence. I think, but that hurts. I try to shake my head, because I seem to have lost my voice, but that instantly causes pain, so I stop. But Tai gets the message.

"Ok, here's what we're gonna do," Tai said, looking into my eyes,  "You rest for a little while, so you'll be up to travelling. Matt," Tai turns to Matt, "you go back and be with your family." Matt nods. Tai turns to me once more,  "and I'll go call mum and tell her that we will be a little late." Matt stands up.

"Kari," Matt said gently, turning to me, "just don't beat yourself up about it, ok? He'll be fine." I don't reply. Tai lifts my head tenderly from his lap, and Matt lays a cushion under my head, and Tai lowers it gently down. Drowsiness begins to take over me.

"I'll go call mum," Tai says, and they both depart, leaving me there, to my confused thoughts, falling into the everlasting darkness of my sorrow.

Next chapter? Um… I'll find it…


	6. Chapter 6 darkness

Disclaimer: I'm still trying…

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I open my eyes, but where am I? Aren't I supposed to be in the hospital? But, I'm on a…beach? Wait! I recognise this place! This is the Dark Ocean! But, how did I get here? Am I still asleep? These thoughts keep running through my head. A shadow appears on the horizon. I squint to see if I can recognise who it is, and I see, a human form. It's moving towards me. Wait, I recognise that hat! It's T.K.! I run into the water to meet him. 

"T.K.!" I cry, as I fling my arms around him. He's so cold. I look up into his eyes. They stare back into mine, and he smiles. Warmth seems to creep back into his body. We stand there, arms wrapped around each other, for another couple of minutes. But suddenly, a dark shadow appears, one like I've never seen before, and pulls T.K away from me. I try to get to him, but the Ocean seems to be pulling me away. I scream and cry. I can't get to him. 

"T.K.!" I scream, as I try to fight away the darkness. But, no use. He disappears under the ocean seconds later. I give up; I let the water suck me in. T.K…

"Kari! Kari, wake up!" I open my eyes. I squint at the figure looming over me. My eyes aren't adjusted to the brightness of the room yet. 

"Ah, your awake!" said Tai, smiling, "Feel better?" I nod, trying to ignore the pain in my head.

"Hey Tai, we can go now," said Matt, "My dad's gotta go, he's got work tomorrow, only the early shift so he can come back and support my mum, so he's taking me home, and he's offered to take you two home as well."

"Yeh," said Tai, taking his eyes off me, "well I guess we have no other way home! There's no more buses 'till tomorrow morning." He smiled.

"Ok, I'll go tell dad that we're ready to go," Matt finished, and walked back down the corridor to T.K's room.

"Can you stand?" asked Tai. I try to get up, but my legs are like jelly, so I instantly fall back into my chair and hold my head.

"Don't worry, I'll help you," said Tai, with a smile. I look into his comforting, smiling face. He's always so willing to do anything for me, and yet, I cause him so much pain sometimes. Like three years ago, when they found out that I was the eighth child, and even now. A tear rolled down my cheek. But I wasn't going to break down on him again. I was going to be strong. Matt and his dad returned. Mr. Ishida looked as if he was in a state of shock. His eyes looked empty, and he was pale as death. Tai got up, and helped me up. But it was no use. My legs wouldn't support me, so Tai just picked me up, and carried me to the elevator, out of the building and to the car. I saw the time on a panel in the car. 11:30pm. I began to feel drowsy. But I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to have that dream again. So I just sat there in silence for the whole car trip. When we arrived at our apartment block, Tai thanked Mr. Ishida, and carried me all the way to our apartment. He silently opened the door, and crept to our bedroom.

"Here you go, Kari," Tai whispered, as he lay me on my bed.

"Thanks Tai," I whispered back, "Thanks for everything." I saw him smile his reassuring smile. But, five minutes later, I was asleep.

Next chapter: Hold on…


	7. Chapter 7 arrivals

Disclaimer: Ia don'ta owna digimona.

I apologise for not updating for like… ages… I've been really busy, and I've also been sick. I'm sorry!

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I didn't go to school for the rest of the week. I received lots of get well cards and emails from all my friends at school, and Miya came over after school everyday. She only lived on the next floor. I spent most of my day lying around, thinking. Thinking of T.K lying there, helpless, and of my dream. I kept having the dream every night. I tried to work out what it meant, but nothing came to me. Gatomon was also a great help with talking. Even though she missed going to the Digital World, she didn't leave me. On the Friday of that week, Tai had stayed home, on mum's orders, because she thought that this might help. Tai didn't mind. Matt hadn't shown up to school that week, so he didn't have his best friend to mess around with. Anyway, the doorbell rang that afternoon, and it turned out to be Yolei, Cody, and Davis. I noticed that Davis had a bandage on his cheek from where I punched him. I blushed slightly.

"Hey Kari!" said Yolei and Poromon.

"Hi," I replied, "Do you want to come in?" I moved aside and invited them in. They all walked past me, Davis coming in the rear. I went to pour out drinks and to see if there was anything edible left in the house. I found some cookies as Gatomon entered the room.

"Hi everybody," said Gatomon, coming to help me with the beverages. Tai was busy doing homework.

"Hi Gatomon," said everyone in unison. I saw out of the corner of my eye Demiveemon blush slightly. He's so cute! I brought over the snacks, and watched all the Digimon -minus Gatomon- dive into the biscuits.

"So what's been happening at school?" I asked, to start a conversation.

"Oh, well everyone's wondering what's up with you and T.K," said Yolei, "You haven't shown up to school since Monday, and no-one knows about T.K."

"So how is T.K?" asked Cody. I hung my head.

"He's really sick," I said quietly, "the doctor's don't know if he'll make it." Tears were threatening to stream down my cheeks. Gatomon came and put her arm on me. Everyone was silent. Even the Digimon had stopped stuffing themselves.

I looked up. "Do any of you know how Patamon is?" I asked.

"I haven't seen him," said Yolei, "But I think he's staying with Matt."

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least he's safe. We spent the next hour discussing the Digital World. Apparently, they haven't been since Tuesday, but they've been monitoring, and it's in no immediate danger. I watched Davis for most of the time. He had a mixed expression on his face. It looked like a mixture of anxiety and disappointment. I felt guilty.

Soon, they all had to leave. I pulled Davis away from the others as they walked out the door. I had to apologise. My conscience was attacking me from all sides.

"Davis," I started, "I want to apologise about Monday. I shouldn't have had a go at you for that. It was wrong of me. Please forgive me." I bowed my head. Tears crept down my cheeks.

"That's ok Kari," Davis said comfortingly, putting a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and smiled. Davis walked out the door, and Demiveemon ran out after him. I couldn't help but smile. After all that, I found I had a minor headache, so I took a couple of painkillers, and went for a lie down. Tai was in the office next to my room and I could hear him dialling on the phone.

"Hey, this is Matt."

"Hey Matt, it's Tai."

"Hey Tai. What's up?"

"Well, you haven't shown up to school, so I was wondering how you were going."

"Yeh, I'm…fine."

"Liar. But I guess it's a hard time for you. How's T.K?"

"Not good. He's getting worse. Docs don't know how long he has. He's been losing it since Monday night, the night that Kari ran out on him."

I gasp.

"What would Kari have to do with it?"

"Well, when he was first admitted, he was in a stable condition. When Kari came, he improved in the slightest. But when she ran out and injured herself, he got worse. I think he misses her or something…"

"That could be the case. I've heard about things like that. She's getting better over here. She was talking to the new lot before. Oh, by the way, how's Patamon?"

"Not good. He misses T.K terribly. He also misses everyone else."

"Hey, why don't you bring him over here? He'll have Kari and Gatomon to be with."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeh! Can you bring him over after tea?"

"Yeh. We're going back to the hospital afterwards anyway, so I can drop him over on the way."

"Cool. See ya."

"See ya." 

I lay there, thinking whether this Patamon thing would be good. But, soon enough, Tai poked his head in the door.

"Hey Kari! Wanna come and play PlayStation?" he asks cheerily.

"Yeh, Ok," I answer, and follow him out the door.

Nexta chaptera upa soona.


	8. Chapter 8 friends

Disclaimer: Same ol', same ol'…

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I couldn't eat dinner, I was too nervous about Patamon's arrival. I just sat there, listening to what everyone else was saying. When dinner finished, I sat on the couch, staring at the T.V, but not really watching. Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rings, and my heart does a sort of somersault. Tai answers the door.

"Hey Tai," says Matt at the door.

"Hey Matt, hey Patamon," replied Tai. I turned around in my chair to see Patamon.

"Hey Kari," says Matt. Patamon instantly perks up. I get up and walk over to them. Patamon jumps out of Matt's arms into mine the minute I get close. I look at the poor, innocent creature tormented by grief. I look back at Matt. I see the sorrow in his eyes. Emotions well up again. I sink to my knees and cradle Patamon, but really, I'm thinking. What if I do have something to do with T.K getting worse? Should I go? But I don't think I can handle it, not just yet. Patamon looks up to me, tears in its eyes. But what about Patamon, and Matt?

"Kari? Are you ok?" Tai says, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeh, I'm fine," I answer. I don't look into his eyes.

"Well, I'd better be going," Matt began, "Dad's waiting. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" he said to Tai. Tai nodded in return. Matt gave me a swift look, before he left, closing the door behind him. Gatomon entered the room moments later, & I let Patamon fly over to her. While Gatomon and Patamon caught up, I busied myself with cleaning the dishes. 

"You do know that T.K is dying, Kari," Tai said quietly. I froze. Emotions were welling up inside me, and I was on the edge of crying. But I fought it back.

"Yes," I replied croakily, "I overheard your conversation with Matt this afternoon."

"This may be your last chance to see him," Tai continued quietly, comfort in every tone.

"I know," I said, "but, I don't know if I can do it. And I don't want to put you through it again either."

"But Kari…" Tai began.

"I'm sorry Tai," I cut in, "I…I don't know." I look deep into his eyes. I see the plead, but… I look away, and run into my room, and flop onto my bed. I don't know what to do.

"Oh T.K…" I breathe into my pillow.

Next chapter up when I'm not totally stressed, or tired, or sick.


	9. Chapter 9 nightwalkers

*I'm feeling guilty for not updating ^.^; so I've put up THREE chapters! Hehehe! Enjoy!*

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. It belongs to Mickey Mouse.

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I sit upright in my bed, wiping the tears from my face. I had that dream again. I hear the steady breathing coming from above me. Tai's still asleep. I get out of bed to get a drink of water. As I pass the couch, I look at Gatomon and Patamon snoozing. Gatomon looked peaceful, but Patamon looked restless. I opened the fridge, and heard the gentle patter of feet on the bench. I turned to see Patamon walking towards me.

"Can't sleep?" I ask gently. Patamon shakes his head in return.

"Drink?" I offer, holding up the jug.

"Thanks," answers Patamon. I get one glass and a small plastic cup for Patamon. We drink in silence. Patamon soon sets down his cup, and turns to look out the window, at the moon. I take our cups and put them in the sink. 

"Goodnight Patamon," I say, as I walk towards my door.

"Goodnight Kari," Patamon replies, as he floats back down to the couch. I look back at him one last time as I enter my room. Poor thing. I creep silently into bed; I didn't want to wake Tai. As I was about to fall asleep, I heard the door open, and wings. It was Patamon. He settled on my bed, his head resting close to my collarbone. I felt tears on his cheeks. He soon fell asleep, but I lay awake for quite a long time afterwards, thinking about visiting T.K. If what Matt says is true, maybe I should visit him. Maybe…

Next chapter- Just click on da link!!!=)


	10. Chapter 10 decisions

Disclaimer- Oh, like u don't know already…

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I open my eyes, but close them again at the sudden brightness from the sun streaming in. I open my eyes again, and squint at the clock on my bedside table. My eyes snap open. 11:00a.m! I was going to jump out of bed, but I noticed that Patamon was still sleeping, so I get out, get dressed, then I pick him up, and walk into the family room, cradling him in my arms. Tai was sitting on the couch, watching some comedy. He turns to me.

"Good morning!" he greets brightly. Patamon stirs.

"Ah, there's Patamon!" adds Tai, smiling. Patamon squints at the brightness, and turns around and falls asleep again. But he soon realises that he's not in bed. I lay him on the table, and make Patamon and myself breakfast.

"Matt's coming over soon," Tai reminds. I don't respond. I put the toast on plates, and grab some fried rice left over from last night, and carry it over to the table. Patamon perks up at the smell, and starts eating the toast. Tai comes over and starts eating the fried rice.

"Mmm, shtill good!" Tai says through a mouthful of rice, "Well, I haven't eaten since thish morning!" I smile at him. Gatomon comes in from the balcony.

"Oh good, you're up," says Gatomon, taking a place at the table, and taking a piece of Patamon's toast. Tai swallowed the last of the fried rice, and looks at me.

"Kari," he began, "are you going to visit T.K today?"

I didn't answer right away.

"I don't know, Tai," I answered quietly. There was an odd silence. It was broken, however, by the doorbell ringing.

"He's early," Tai thought aloud, as he got up to answer the door. It was Matt. He looked as if someone had died. I feared the worst. I got up, and walked quickly to the door. Matt looked up at Tai and I. Patamon flew over, and landed in my arms, looking intently towards Matt.

"How's T.K?" I ask quietly and carefully. He hung his head again.

"He nearly died last night," he began, his voice shaking, "the doctors say that he most likely won't make it to see tomorrow." A shiver went through all present at the doorway. Patamon began to cry. I tried to comfort him, but to no prevail. Tai looked at me.

"It's now or never Kari," he said quietly, "think about it. You don't have long." I did think. Patamon flew out of my arms to Matt, and they shore their sorrow. I looked at them, and thought. So many people are in pain. If what Matt said is true, than maybe seeing T.K will help him as it will me. I need to go. If it doesn't help T.K, then at least I'll be able to say my goodbyes…

"When are you going to the hospital next?" I ask Matt, my voice cracking. Matt looks at me.

"In an hour," Matt replies, a tiny light appearing in his eye.

"I wanna come," I say strongly. Tai looks to me again, and it looks as if he wants to smile.

"I'll come with you," adds Tai, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"No, you don't have to," I say to him.

"Well I am," Tai says defiantly. He wasn't going to budge. I smile at him. Tears threaten to escape, but I hold them back again. I fling my arms around him. He cares so much for me. He's the best brother anyone could have.

Next chapter- Click on de links again!!!=)


	11. Chapter 11 revelations

Disclaimer- Blah blah…

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When the time to leave finally came, I was getting nervous again. As we were heading towards the door, however, Patamon flew up to us.

"Can I come?" he asked, tears glistening in his large, blue eyes. We all looked to each other. It would be hard getting him there, and if anyone was in T.K's room at the same time that didn't know about Digimon, then we couldn't let him out. The air was heavy with thought.

"I'll go get a bag," I said, since it seemed only fair that he should come. I found one big enough, and added a small pillow for comfort. Patamon fitted nicely in it. Gatomon said she'd stay home, in case our parents returned. We all went downstairs in silence. Mr. Ishida looked dreadful. I looked away. We drove to the hospital in silence, no one having anything to say. Patamon poked his head out of the bag for the journey until we reached the hospital. We walked the familiar path to the elevator, to the fourth floor, down the corridors, and to his room. I walked in behind Tai. Mrs. Takashi was there, but her sorrow was beyond tears. She just sat there, grasping T.K's hand like the dearest thing in her life. I looked from her to T.K. He was ghostly white. The doctor left the room. I remembered Patamon, so I opened my bag to let him out. Tai closed the door behind the doctor. Patamon instantly flew to T.K. Mrs. Takashi looked at him for a moment, and outstretched her hand to stroke him. He lay down his wings and closed his eyes, as her hand gently stroked his back. I went over to T.K's side, and knelt on the floor beside him. I grasped his other hand. It was cold. Parts of my dream flashed through my head. I rested my head on his bed, as tears began to flow.

"Oh, T.K…" I whispered. Both my hands were grasping his, and I so desperately wanted his to warm up. I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, and turned to see Tai. He wasn't wearing his usual smile, but a rather sad one. I turned back to T.K. I sat like this for about an hour. At the end of that hour, it seemed that his hand was getting warmer. I perked up at this. And then, suddenly, I felt his hand gently squeeze mine. It was ever so weak, I barely felt it, but it still happened. I sat bolt upright. I couldn't believe it.

"Kari, what's up?" Tai asked, bewildered at my sudden movement.

"It's T.K…" I said breathlessly, "He…he squeezed my hand." Everyone stared at me.

"Are you sure?" Matt asked.

"Yes…" I answered, not taking my eyes of T.K, "It was weak, but I still felt it." Mrs. Takashi dissolved into tears. But these ones had a tone of hope, and happiness that her son may survive. I stayed there, in the same position for the next ten minutes, hoping for another sign, but none came. His hand was definitely getting warmer, and I saw this as a positive sign. I heard a growling from Tai, and turn to see Tai holding his stomach, looking rather embarrassed.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"Hey Tai," said Matt, "why don't we go get some food for everyone. I mean, I guess it is lunchtime."

"Yeh," said Tai, happy that Matt had covered up that rather embarrassing moment, "So, what does everyone want?"

"I'll just have a coffee," said Mrs. Takashi.

"I'll have the same," added Mr. Ishida.

"I don't care," said Patamon.

"I'll come with you," I said, getting up and laying T.K's hand down, "I think I need some fresh air." And with that, I coughed.

"Ok," said Tai, "we'll be back soon." And with that, we left. In the elevator, I had a sudden urge to cough, but I didn't want to in front of Matt and Tai; they would most likely get all worked up about it. But the urge wouldn't go away. I tried holding my breath, but I felt like I was going to faint. I let out one small cough.

"Kari, are you ok?" Tai asked.

"Yeh, I'm fine…" I began, but talking was a bad idea. I suddenly launched into a coughing fit. Matt and Tai immediately huddled around me. The elevator doors opened, and Tai half-carried me to a nearby chair. I finally stopped coughing. Both Tai and Matt were white.

"I'm fine," I said, when I finally caught my breath, "It musta been the dust." They didn't believe me.

"Look, I really am ok!" I said, standing up, my cheeks red, "Let's just get the food."

They reluctantly stood up and followed me to the cafeteria. Tai ordered the food, while Matt and I looked at presents and magazines. Tai came back carrying a bag full of food.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he asked me, a tone of concern in his voice.

"Yes!" I pouted, grabbing the holder of drinks and leading the way to the elevator. I didn't want them to worry about me, not now when T.K was sick. The way back to T.K's room was a silent one. When we arrived, and Tai opened the bag, it was obvious that he bought more than everyone asked. I sat there, in a corner, munching on my small salad sandwich, staring blankly into space. Tai's hand waved in front of my face a few times, with some mumbling words, but I was too deep in thought to decipher what he was saying. I didn't realise, but I was drifting off into sleep. These thoughts were to become my dreams. But before I was able to sleep, I found myself being shaken rather hard. My head was lolling back and forth, my vision coming back. I held my head steady, and the shaking stopped.

"Kari?" Tai asked, peering into my eyes. I blinked, suddenly properly returning to reality. I look around, finally realising where I am.

"Kari, we have to leave," Tai said, unsure if I was still back to normal.

"Why?" I ask drearily, beginning to feel drowsy.

"Because we're supposed to be going to grandma's this afternoon," Tai reminded. I get up- with some help from Tai –and walk back over to T.K's bed. I kneel down again, and grasp his hand.

"Please get better T.K," I mumble, hope seeming to linger around me. I kiss his hand, and lay it back down on the bed. I stand up, and bow my head to the Ishida's and Mrs. Takashi, before heading to the door to meet up with Tai. I give T.K one last swift look, before I leave the place, the place where so often hopes are lost, dreams are abandoned, and death lingers, sweeping around the place, targeting his next victim.

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Looooong chapter!


	12. Chapter 12 secrets

Disclaimer: You should know by now…

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I awoke Sunday morning, desperately trying to stifle the sound of my coughing. I'd had that dream again, but when I was pulled under, I saw a small light ahead of me. But, a coughing fit woke me. I lay on my bed, exhausted from my efforts. I put my hand on my forehead. It was warmer than usual. I heard mumbling above me. Tai's up. His head appears, hanging upside down.

"Good morning Ka-Ka-Kari," Tai says, failing to stifle a yawn.

"Hi!" I say brightly, I didn't want him to suspect anything. His head disappears back on the top, but he soon jumps down, and stumbles out to breakfast. Tai hardly notices Patamon fly in. Patamon has perked up since he's seen T.K, even if T.K was sick. It was some relief to the emotionally tortured Digimon that his friend was in fact alive. He dropped down next to me. He was suspicious. So was Gatomon. I guess they have every reason to worry, but I don't want to cause any more anxiety among them, with T.K being sick already.

"Coming to breakfast?" Patamon asked, looking me in the eye.

"Yep," I answered happily, beginning to get up. But I was tired. I flopped back down, and closed my eyes. I felt Patamon's cool paw on my forehead.

"You're hot!" he exclaimed, "I'll go tell Tai."

"No!" I replied fiercely, grabbing his arm, "I'm fine. I-I just slept with my head on my hot water bottle, that's all." I pulled the hot water bottle from under my pillow. It was cold, but the presence of it fooled Patamon. He flew out, disbelieving in what I had covered. I got up, cradling my hot water bottle, thinking of how close I was to revealing my little secret. Memories of the emotions shore by those around me when I collapsed in the Digital world three years ago flooded through me as I pulled on my t-shirt. I don't want to put my family- especially Tai –through that. I added clips in my hair as I remembered Tai's face when he re-told about when I was sick after we heard how T.K was. This haunted me. But the thought that was plastered in my mind, and didn't leave me alone, was the sight of T.K in the hospital. I dropped my hairbrush as I thought of it.

"It's all my fault...it's all my fault…" I mumbled to myself as I picked up my hairbrush. Tears fell to the floor. Darkness threatened to consume me. I remembered my trip to the Dark Ocean. T.K was the one who saved me. The ocean was calling me again. Why now…

I'm sorry that I'm really lazy at updating. I'll try to update sooner!=)


	13. Chapter 13 despair

Disclaimer: Yawn…

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Tai snores like an animal. I'm used to it by now, but I get a funny feeling in my stomach when I can't hear it. I don't know why, but I feel so much more comfortable when he snores. I guess just knowing he's there and alive. He also sleep-talks and sleepwalks. It's rather amusing to listen, and funny to watch. But lately, I rarely hear him snore, and whenever he talks, it's about Matt.

_'I'm here…don't leave me…don't give up…please…'_ is just some of what he mumbles. But it's also a problem that he isn't sleeping for me, because I can't cough when he's awake. He'll have a coronary if he ever found out. I usually walk out onto the balcony most nights, where no one can hear me. But sometimes Patamon will sneak out and threaten to tell Tai. I hiss fiercely at him for mentioning it, but I know he doesn't want me to end up like T.K. I know it'll shatter his poor, tortured little heart. I just hold him close, basking in his presence, which brings on memories of T.K. I don't know how much longer I can stand this. Maybe I should tell someone…

Bwahahahahaha! Short chapta! I am so cruel!


	14. Chapter 14 helpless

Disclaimer: 'It's a small world after all…'

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I opened the cupboards, and pull all the medication I could lay my hands on out of the cupboard. I glanced at all the labels, searching for the one thing that could help me. I found a pack of tablets and some liquid medication. I didn't know which to take. The tablets were for the flu, and stronger that the kiddie liquid stuff. So I piled the liquid and the other medication back into the disarray that is the medication shelf. I glanced at the dosage, and saw that 12yrs+ take two tablets every three to four hours, and under 12yrs take one to one-and-a-half tablets. Well, I'm almost twelve. I pushed two tablets out of the package, and swallow them down with water. There, that should help. I flopped onto the couch, and, to my surprise, fell asleep.

Oh no, not this dream again. But, hang on. This isn't the dark ocean. Where am I? I glance around, trying to figure out what's going on. I begin to walk around, trying to decipher the surroundings. They were blurred, and constantly changing. As I walked on, I found myself walking towards two figures. It was Matt! But, oh no! It's Tai, in his arms! He's not moving! I gasp. I run towards Matt, but before I could reach him, a ring of small flames surrounded him- ones I could easily jump. But that wasn't stopping me- it was the smoke. Swirly, grey, poisonous smoke swirled around Matt and Tai. I desperately wanted to get to them, to help Tai, but I couldn't. I looked to Matt. No words could express the torture in his eyes, as he stared deep into mine. He mouthed pleading words, and it tortured me to look on. Tears welled in my eyes as I watched Matt beginning to cough at the smoke.

_"Hang on Matt!" I screamed through the smoke. The heat was building, and I could barely stand it, but the thought of Matt and Tai in there… I screamed._

I bolted upright, breathing heavily. Cold sweat mingled with tears dripped onto a blanket covering my legs. I desperately tried to catch my breath. This caused me to cough. My cough was becoming chesty, and to my horror, I felt a warm, thick liquid on my tongue. I wiped some of the liquid onto my finger, and my heart froze. It was blood. My heart began to beat again, but at a rapid pace. My chest began to hurt as my heart continued. I felt the presence of Patamon at the top of the chair. I quickly hid my finger, and took deep, calming breaths.

"Are you ok, Kari?" Patamon asked.

"Yeh, just another dream…" I answered distantly. I got off the couch, letting the blanket fall to the ground. I didn't notice the time as I pushed out four pills, which I though were painkillers. Oh well, maybe if I take a couple more I'll get better soon, and Patamon won't be suspicious. I swallowed them as my head began to pound, and my stomach twist. I grabbed my head as my vision contorted.

"Kari?" I heard Patamon say, but I couldn't answer. I turned to where the voice came from, and found myself facing…Davis? But, what was he doing here? And I'm sure I heard Patamon, not Davis.

"Davis?" I asked, my speech slurring slightly. Davis looked confused.

"I'm not Davis," came the voice again, "I'm Patamon." Davis peered at me.

"Are you sure you're ok, Kari?" said the voice. But it became contorted as it slowly came to me. I suddenly began to feel hot. I continued to look around. Everything was changing. My head was throbbing worse than ever. A small bluebird flew past.

"Ooh wow! Pretty bird!" I called, trying to reach out for it. I felt really light-headed.

"Wha-? Kari! I'm not a bird, I'm Patamon!" came Patamon's voice.

"Pretty bird…" I continued. Colours began swirling around me. I heard a knocking sound coming from my right.

"Hey Kari! I'm home!" came Tai's voice. I looked to him, and to my surprise, I was looking at T.K!

"T.K!" I cried, as I ran to him, throwing my arms around him. T.K gave me a weird look.

"I'm not T.K, Kari! I'm Tai duh!" Tai's voice said. I stepped back.

"Oh T.K…" I sighed, as my head began swirling dangerously. I was quickly losing my balance.

"She's hallucinating!" came Patamon's voice, "She thinks I'm Davis, and she keeps calling 'pretty bird'. And no wonder! Look at these!" T.K turned to him, before he looked at me.

"Oh no…" he said. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, and I heard no more.

Hehehe…long chapta to make up for the previous one. Hopes u like!


	15. Chapter 15 diagnosis

Disclaimer: Mesa don't own Deegimon

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"Will she be ok?"

"We have found the cause of her loss of consciousness and the hallucinations. She has taken expired medication."

"What?"

"Yes. Flu medication to be precise. She took six tablets within half an hour."

All this was slowly passing through my brain. I groan as pain set in.

"Oh Kari!" came the worried voice of Tai. I slowly open my eyes. I squint at two looming figures. The light in the room was blinding. I drew breath in sharply as my stomach groaned. My eyes slowly grew accustomed to the brightness of the room, and I soon found myself in a white hospital room, with a doctor and my brother peering at me intently.

"Tai?" I whisper hoarsely. He nods, tears beginning to glisten in his gentle, brown eyes.

"I also have one more thing," the doctor began once more, "she has developed a chest infection. With the right medication, she should be fine in a couple of weeks." Tai's eyes widened.

"A chest infection?" he asked, "But…she hasn't shown any signs of one." But then, he gasped.

"I'm sorry Tai," I say, tears glistening in my own eyes.

"I should like to keep her in overnight for observation," the doctor continued, "Just in case the tablets have more of an effect than first thought." Tai nods slowly. A tear streaked down his cheek. A sudden rush of guilt surges through me.

"I'm so sorry Tai!" I wail. I began crying hysterically. As I cried, a beeping noise began sounding at a rapid pace.

"Kari! It's ok! Calm down!" Tai soothed, as I began gasping for air. My chest tightened, and my head was burning. Tai grasped my hand painfully as the doctor walked to my right side.

"Here we go," he calmly said, as he injected something into my dripper. I felt Tai's grip lessen as my breathing returned to normal. Soon enough, drowsiness set in, and I began to fall asleep.

"First T.K, then Matt, and now Kari…" Tai mumbled, but I heard no more.

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NeXt ChApTa? Up SoOn!


	16. Chapter 16 icy

Disclaimer: Î Đõņť Óŵŉ Ďĭĝīmŏň

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I sit upright, wiping once more the cold sweat off my brow. I feel movement to my right, and when I look I see Tai, sleeping soundly. Poor baby. I gently run my fingers through his hair. An idea struck me. I'm in hospital… T.K's in hospital…why not visit him? I feel strong enough to walk. I pull back the covers, but stop abruptly. I was wearing one of those perverted white nighties_. _I can't walk around the hospital in one of these! I sigh sadly, and pull the covers back over my legs. As I prepare to lie down, something next to Tai catches my eye. I look on the ground, and see a bag. I grab the bag, and reveal my favourite set of pink pj's with little white kitties patterned all over it. I feel a rush of gratitude towards Tai. But another dilemma plagues my idea- my dripper is connected to my left arm. How am I to pull on my top? Oh, who cares? I'll just pull on my pants, and go with the white 'nightie' as my top. A cheerful warmth spreads through me as I pull on the pants as quietly as I possibly could, so not to wake Tai. The bag of liquid (which was connected to the tube in my arm) was on a portable stand, so I could easily move it around. I get out of bed, and put the bag under the covers, in case any nurse comes to check on me while I'm away. It's dark, so she won't notice. I creep out the door, and check if the coast is clear. There were only two nurses standing around, chatting. I stealthily made my way to the elevator, and pushed the button for T.K's floor. The elevator was large, and I felt rather nervous in there on my own. The light atop the elevator set a creepy light across the area. A cold shiver ran up my bare back. A 'ding' noise told me I was to get off. I snuck out of the elevator with no trouble, but this floor was buzzing with nurses on night watch. How am I ever gonna get to T.K's room without them spotting me? My hopes were slowly fading. The floor was cold, and my toes were slowly going numb. The hospital suddenly gave this looming feeling, and shadows were dancing everywhere. In the minute that I stood there, I could almost feel Death sweeping through the icy corridors, toying with the lives of the people that were lying there. My hopes were not completely dashed, for I noticed that a group of the nurses had gone for coffee, and so I decided now was the time for action. While an enquiring person kept the desk clerk busy, I silently swept down to the familiar corridor to T.K's room. This place was so dark, and so depressing; I could fell the cold seeping through to my bones. I quickly make my way to the door into T.K's room. I slowly turn the doorhandle, and slide into the room. Mrs. Takashi was sleeping on a chair, but Matt and Mr. Ishida were nowhere to be seen. I silently tiptoe to T.K's bedside, and sit on a chair near his head. The machines nearby kept their mechanical rhythm as I closely held T.K's hand. He was finally on the road to recovery. I felt so relieved.

"You're finally gonna get better," I whisper to him, and to myself. I lie my head near his hand in weariness. I felt warmth spread through me, and I soon fell asleep. For the first time in a week, I fell into a sleep of blissful dreams.

"Oh, T.K…" I breathe.

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Őőōĥ…Ňëxŧ Ĉħåpŧâ Čømïŋğ ­§õòŉ


	17. Chapter 17 confusion

Disclaimer: If you don't know by now, I give up

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"Will she be ok?"

"I believe so. It's only a fever. This is common with her type of infection. I would not worry. But I recommend that I keep her in until lunch-time."

"Ok…"

I let out a low moan as I slowly begin to wake. I wasn't a morning person like Tai was, and by the sounds of things, he was already up.

"Hi Tai," I say, as I stretch, and attempt to sit up. A smell reaches my nose, and I open my eyes to find breakfast.

"Hi Kari," Tai says, with the slightest hint of relief in his voice. The surroundings slowly loom in on me, and I realise that I'm not in T.K's room anymore.

"Where am I?" I ask, confused.

"In your room," Tai began, "where you're supposed to stay. You had me so worried, when I woke and you weren't in your bed. I half-guessed you'd go to T.K's room, and that's where I found you. I had to bring you back, because the nurse had to check on you."

"Oh well," I sigh, resting back against my pillows. I wasn't hungry.

"Aren't you gonna eat?" Taichi enquires. I shake my head.

"Not hungry," I dismiss.

"Butcha gotta eat!" Tai exclaims.

"I'm not hungry," I repeat. Tai didn't give in so easily- he was quite stubborn.

"You've gotta eat Kari," Tai says soothingly, "Otherwise you'll never get better."

"I'm just not hungry, ok?" I reply hotly, "Just leave it alone!" I was sitting upright by now, my head burning. I flopped back down on the pillow, and began to cry. _Why am I acting so? This isn't me!_

"Oh, Kari," Tai sooths, gently stroking my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Tai!" I sob, "I'll eat it."

"You don't have to," Tai says softly, "just wait until you're hungry." I nod, and I throw myself into his arms. Tai was the best brother anyone could wish for. He was always so warm… so caring… I pulled away.

"Does mum know we're here?" I ask, fearing the worst.

"Nope," Tai replies, "I said we were staying overnight with the Ishida's and Takashi's. I didn't mention that you were in hospital." I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Tai," I say, truth in every syllable. "I'm really sorry that I've put you through this." I hang my head.

"Hey," Tai says, putting a finger under my chin and lifting up my head, "You didn't plan this- no one did. It just happened. Stop blaming yourself over something you didn't do." I stare into his watery brown eyes, and smile.

"Look, it's ten-thirty, right?" Tai glances at his watch, "The doctor only wants to keep you here until lunch-time, just to keep an eye on your fever. So how about when you get out of here, we go visit T.K?" I nod fervently. 

"It's a deal!" I announce happily.

"Ok," Tai smiles, "So, why don't you rest now, and I'll go see how Matt's doing?" I see the smile fade slightly from Tai's face. I was confused. But Tai got up and left the room before I had time to question him. A nurse came in and injected something into my dripper, and I felt drowsy once more, and fell asleep, and dreamt about Matt and Tai yet again.

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Next chapter: soon.


	18. Chapter 18 ups and downs

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. I don't own Microsoft. Although…

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"We're home!"

Tai pushes open the door, and we both enter. Tai was carrying me, because I still felt groggy from some medicine the nurse gave me before I was discharged. I had fallen asleep on the way home.

"No-one's home…" Tai wonders aloud. He carries me over to the couch, drops me, and walks through the house, searching for the parents we could not find. I scan the coffee table for a TV program, but instead find a note. It was signed 'mum and dad'.

"Hey Tai!" I call, "There's a note!" Tai jogs over, and reads the note aloud:

"_Dear Tai and Kari_," Tai begins, "_We've gone to your grandparents for a couple of days. Your grandmother has injured herself, and needs someone to look after her. Mum will be home in two days, for your auntie will come to look after her as soon as possible. Dad won't be home for a week, for he has a conference to attend._

_I've left you money for take-out, and there should be enough food for your lunches._

_Lots of love,_

_Mum and Dad._" Tai looks up.

"Oh well," Tai sighs, "Looks like it's just you and me for about a week."

"Why a week?" I ask, confused.

"Well, duh," Tai dismisses, "You know our auntie won't show up to grandma's for about four days, and mum's gonna stay. Dad's up in a conference, so…you work it out." I shrug, and clutch a blanket closer. I sigh. Something struck me.

"Where's Gatomon and Patamon?" I ask, scanning the room for any sign of the cat and batpig.

"They're sleeping on the balcony," Tai sniggers, pointing out the window to a snoozing Gatomon and Patamon, basking in the mid-afternoon sun. I chuckle.

"Awww," I muse, "How sweet."

"Why don't we give them a little wake-up call?" Tai sniggers, a devilish grin spreading across his face.

"Whatcha gonna do?" I inquire; suspicious he was going to do something nasty.

"Oh, nothing," Tai replies innocently, "I was just gonna get an alarm clock." I snort. Tai swept off into all the rooms, collecting as many alarm clocks as possible, and even nicking my digivice to use as one. I watch on silently as Tai positions all the clocks in a circle around the peaceful pair. When he had finished, he came back inside, and dragged me over to the window.

"Five…four…three…two…one…" Tai mumbles, excitement ringing in every tone. The alarms all went off at once, and the batpig and the cat jumped out of their skins. Tai roared with laughter at the sight of the two Digimon pressed back-to-back, panting loudly and clutching their chests. I open the screen door, and proceed to turning off all the alarms. Gatomon and Patamon spot me, and both bring me crashing to the ground.

"Kari!" they both exclaim in unison. They were clutching me so tightly I could hear their rapidly beating hearts. I began to gasp. They both loosened their grip as they heard Tai stumble out, still roaring with laughter.

"Oh," he gasps, "You shoulda seen da look on their faces!" He collapses to the ground in more fits of laughter. Gatomon and Patamon glare. 

"It wasn't funny!" they both say hotly. I sit up.

"Well, it's good to see you again," I say brightly, and they both ignore Tai for the moment.

"Yeh, ditto!" Gatomon says brightly, before jumping back into my arms.

"How's T.K?" asks Patamon, going serious for a moment.

"He's recovering," I reply positively. Patamon smiled; his first smile in two weeks.

"Do you know how Matt is?" Patamon asks. I notice the sudden change in his voice; it was no longer depressing, but full of hope. Tai's laughing stops abruptly. We all look to him as he sits up, and his face darkens.

"Tai?" I ask, getting up and walk over to him. "Is everything ok?"

"Yep," he replies, with a fake smile.

"Yep, and I own Microsoft," I reply sarcastically. "What's wrong?"

"Don't worry," Tai dismisses, before walking back inside. I stare after him, as he walks into our room, and slams the door. Gatomon looks at me.

"Wonder what's up with him?" she wonders aloud.

"I don't know," I mumble, "But I bet it's something to do with Matt."

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Next chapter: um… i'm getting a little behind in writing this fic, so plz be patient!!! Probs be anutha week or so.


	19. Chapter 19 danger

Disclaimer: Surely you would know by now???

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"Hello?"

"Hello. Is Matt home?"

"No sorry. He's gone out."

"Um… Do you know where he's gone?"

"No, he didn't tell me. He's been going out a lot lately Tai. I thought you'd know, because he doesn't tell me anything."

"He doesn't tell me anything either. Oh well, thanks anyway." Tai hangs up the phone. 

"I'd better go find him, before he does something really stupid…like last time…" Tai walks out of the office, and proceeds towards our room. I quickly dash over to my bed, where I was supposed to be reading, but I couldn't help but eavesdrop on his conversation. I knew it had something to do with Matt. Tai enters the room.

"Hey Kari, I've got to go out for a while," Tai says, as he grabs his jacket, "I'll be back soon."

"Where are you going?" I ask gently. Tai doesn't answer.

"Goodnight Kari," Tai murmurs, as he closes the door. Gatomon appears from under the blankets.

"What's wrong with him?" Gatomon asks. I turn to her.

"Something's wrong with Matt," I begin.

"Why aren't we following?" asks Gatomon, as she pulls out a sleeping Patamon.

"I dunno," I answer blankly, "But maybe we should. Yeh, ok, I'll grab my jacket." I hop out of bed, and pull on my jacket.

"What about us?" asks Patamon, as he stumbles to the edge of the bed.

"It's dark now," I begin, "I don't think you'll need a disguise. If anyone approaches, just hide behind me, or in the shadows." Gatomon and Patamon nod in unison.

"We'd better hurry!" I exclaim, as I quickly make my way towards the door, "Or we'll lose sight of Tai!" We run out the front door, and down the stairs. The cool night air runs through my hair as the doors to our building slide open. Tai was walking down the street to our right. There were not many people around, so the two Digimon didn't need to duck into any bushes as of yet. As we walk on, always keeping a watch on Tai, so if he turned around he wouldn't notice us, I think about what kind of trouble Matt could be in. Patamon was sitting in my arms, and I can feel him tremble. I gently stroke him to calm him down. We had walked for about twenty minutes, when I notice that we were entering a district, which held a bad reputation for druggies. I'd heard about it at school, and I'd also heard about it on the news. This district was HQ for drug-dealers. I shiver as the shadows loom over me. I could hear murmuring coming from some of the corners as I walk on. Patamon was trembling with fright, and I could feel Gatomon pressing closer to me. Suddenly, Tai began to jog ahead, and soon turned a corner out of our sight. I begin to jog after him, but before long I can hear him speaking.

"Matt! Wake up!"

"Hi Tai! Wow! You have brown hair!" I turn the corner, and find Tai stooping over a rather dazed Matt. He looked terrible. He obviously hadn't slept for days, his skin was deathly white, and his eyes were bloodshot and bleary. Next to him was a pile of cigarette butts, and three syringes. We all gasp. Tai looks in our direction. I clasp my hand to my mouth.

"Kari?" Tai asks, as he gets up and walks over to us. I forgot how to walk. Tai reaches us, and I look on in sadness as I see his teary eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he hoarsely whispers, as his gaze drifts to Patamon and Gatomon.

"We…we wanted to see where you were going," I mumble in reply. Patamon flew out of my arms, and over to Matt.

"You shouldn't be here," Tai whispers, "It's too dangerous. This place is full of druggies."

"Matt? Can you hear me?" Patamon asks, gently shaking Matt's shoulders. Matt stirs.

"It's so hot…" Matt mumbles, moving his head from side to side, "I wanna go to sleep." Tai swirls around as Matt falls silent. Tai quickly runs over to Matt.

"Matt? Matt! Wake up!" Tai cries, as he violently shakes Matt's shoulders. Shivers run fiercely up my spine. The pure silence of the night was closing in around me, and the shadows loom closer. A small wisp of wind came through the alley, but it felt like an icy blast. After what seemed like an eternity, Tai lifts up Matt's limp body, and begins to quickly make his way back to me.

"C'mon Kari," Tai urges, his voice shaking, "We need to get Matt to a hospital. He's OD'd again." I nod as I look into Matt's ghostly face. It was so hallow- he hadn't eaten in days. Tai quickly brushes past me, but I was still in another dimension. Poor Tai… I feel Gatomon pawing at my jacket, and I run after Tai.

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Next chapter: when I get around to it. I am (surprisingly) really into this story. If you ask any of my friends, you'd find out that I never finish most of my stories. But thanx to your wonderful reviews, I am going to continue!!! More twists to come!!!


	20. Chapter 20 shattered

Disclaimer: If you don't know by now, I really don't know what to say

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"Please help me! My friend has OD'd!" Tai cries at the receptionist. The woman gets up and peers at Matt.

"Ok, just hold on," she says as she reaches for the phone. She dials a number and speaks to someone. Tai is trembling. A doctor in a white coat jogs up to us.

"What's the problem?" he asks Tai, before he notices Matt in his arms.

"I found my friend down an alley, and he passed out," Tai explains, a hint of panic in his voice. "He takes drugs, and he's overdosed." The doctor nods.

"Follow me," The doctor instructs, and quickly makes his way into an examination room. Tai lays Matt on the bed in the middle of the room. Two nurses come in as the doctor peers into Matt's eyes. His face is grim. I grasp Tai's hand. The nurse attaches an oxygen mask around Matt's face as the doctor checks his pulse. He speaks in a low voice to one of the nurses, and she leaves the room. She soon returns with a trolley-full of medicinal machinery. I feel Tai tremble more violently. I looked into his face, and I feel my heart go cold. Tai looks almost the same as Matt lying on the hospital bed. His face is whiter that death, his eyes are vacant of life and his face was generally hallowed. I look down to my shoes. I don't think he can survive much more of this. How long 'til he cracks? I sigh and move closer to Tai for warmth. The hospital gave a cold feeling, and I begin to shiver more violently. But I receive no warmth from Tai. He's as cold as ice. I think back to T.K up in his hospital room. I long to see him- to see if he's getting better or not. I remember holding his hand- it was so cold. Just like Tai's…

I am sharply brought back to my senses by the sound of an alarm. I look around wildly in confusion as another three nurses appear from the doorway. Tai begins to sway. Another nurse quickly enters with a machine on a trolley. My heart freezes at what the nurse calls. Matt's heart has stopped. The doctor's shouting orders as panic begins to flow through me. Matt might die… As the doctor grabs the handles, I feel Tai bolt away to the door. I whisk around just in time to see a wisp of his hair. I dash out after him, but my chest tightens, and an itch comes into my throat.

"No…not now…" I breathe, "…why the hell now?" I cover my mouth as a coughing fit engulfs me. My chest rattles as I lean against the wall. I feel warm blood drip into my hands. I pull my hands away from my mouth as I begin to wheeze. A nearby nurse quickly makes her way to me as I slide down the wall. She drops down next to me.

"Are you ok?" she asks, shocked at the blood on my hands. I let my legs spread out in front of me, for all my energy has left me.

"Tai…" I mumble, before I sneeze. More blood. The nurse quickly gets up, returning minutes later with wet towels to wash my hands. She dabs the blood off my hands, before helping me onto a chair. I flop back and close my eyes. I'm so tired. My breathing is difficult, and I feel another cough coming on. But before I knew it, the nurse was placing an oxygen mask over my face. I open my eyes.

"Now, I need you to breathe deeply for me," she says gently. I take one deep breath, and I feel slightly relaxed. My breathing soon returns to normal, and I begin to worry again. It's been five minutes, and God knows what's happened to Tai.

"I need to go," I explain quickly to the nurse. The nurse was surprised.

"But you need to see a doctor," the nurse explains. "I can't let you go outside with your symptoms." I begin to feel impatient. Time was ticking away, and Tai could have been long gone now.

"I've got a chest infection," I explain. "I was here only this morning." The nurse mumbles something. I pull off the mask and stand up.

"Please," I plead, urgency creeping into my voice, "I have to go find my brother, he's…well…um…having a bad time…" I trail off. The nurse was sceptical over letting me just leave. I begin to feel annoyed. I don't have time for this…

"Look, if you don't believe me, my name is Hikari Kamiya. Look me up on hospital records," I say, as I turn for the door. To my surprise, the nurse doesn't stop me. I turn around, and face the nurse.

"Thank you," I say, bowing slightly, before running through the doors. I have to find Tai.

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Next chapter: don't worry, it will come!


	21. Chapter 21 loss

Disclaimer: idontowndigimonidontowndigimonidontowndigimon…

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"Tai!"

I knock on the door. No answer. I slowly turn the doorhandle and find it open. I silently step inside. Gatomon and Patamon follow. They had been hiding in the bushes outside the hospital waiting for me. They had told me that Tai had run in the direction of home. I look around the house, but nothing stirred. Shadows from the moonlight dance across the ceiling and floor, sending an eerie feeling over all present. Gatomon walks towards the entrance to the balcony, Patamon towards the bathroom, and I walk to our room. A sudden feeling of dread comes over me. I hear the balcony door opening. My stomach churns as I turn the doorhandle and slowly push open the door. The curtains were billowing in the breeze. The whole room is dark, and I feel for the light switch. But before I find it, I hear breathing. I follow the stream of moonlight from the window to a figure on the ground. It was Tai. I turn on the light. 

I scream. 

Tai was lying on the floor, a slash down his right arm, in his left hand a knife dripping blood. His eyes were wide open, and he had obviously been crying. I drop to his side, and look into his face. His eyes are bleary and vacant.

"Tai?" I ask, my voice shaking. He doesn't answer. But I hear him mumbling. I listen closer.

"Matt…help me…Matt…help…" I pull away. Tears stream down my cheeks. I jump back onto my feet and fly to the bathroom. I rip open the cabinets and pull out the bag of bandages. I grab the best one I could find. We have tonnes of bandages; Tai was constantly coming home bleeding: whether from soccer, sports, or dares. I grab a towel, throw it under the tap, soak it, and pull it out. I bolt back to our room. Gatomon and Patamon were standing near his left shoulder. I drop near his right, and proceed to wiping the blood off his arm. He didn't move at all. I gave the towel to Patamon, who flew out of the room. I unclip the bandage, and begin winding it around his arm. Tears blinded my eyes, and I often had to stop to wipe them so I could see. When I had finished, Gatomon came and sat next to me. I shake Tai's shoulders.

"Tai?" I ask clearly. No response. I shake harder. "Tai? Can you hear me? Answer me! Please!" I scream the last part, my voice quavering. Gatomon backs away as I swing my leg over Tai's body, and sit on his stomach. I firmly grab both his shoulders and shake him violently.

"Answer me Tai! Please!" I scream, tears flowing down my face. Tai moans, before he closes his eyes. I freeze, waiting for his chest to rise. It doesn't. I grab his left wrist, desperately searching for a pulse. I was panicking. I can feel my heart beating painfully hard in my chest. I can't find a pulse. I grab Tai's shoulders and shake them viciously.

"TAI!!! ANSWER ME!!! GODDAMMIT ANSWER ME!!! WAKE UP TAI!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!!! NO!!!" My chest is so tight. I can barely breathe. The pain…

"TAI!!! WAKE UP!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! DON'T DIE!!!" I unleash a new wave of panic by shaking Tai's shoulders so ferociously it was unbelievable that his neck was still attached. I open my eyes, and look into Tai's face. His hallow cheeks from lack of food and sleep were illuminated by the streams of moonlight. I stop shaking him, and let him drop to the ground. I sit there, on his stomach, frozen. I can't believe it. Why…why won't he wake up? I sit there for almost five minutes, staring into his pale face. I slowly lift up my right hand, and gently touch his cheek. It's cold, and wet from tears. I feel a new wave of fury searing through me. My hand becomes a fist and I pound Tai's chest. I shut my eyes and tears almost drown me. I fall forward, and bury my face into his chest. My tears drench his shirt. I slam my fist again on his chest.

"No…Tai…why'd you leave me?" I whisper fiercely into his shirt. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!" I grasp my chest. The pain was so intense… I feel like someone has just shot me in slow motion. The bullet is still ripping through my heart. I gasp for breath as I dig my nails into my shirt. It's all over…

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It's all happening…

Next chapter: it's coming, don't worry…


	22. Chapter 22 tears

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, and I don't own Silverchair (unfortunately), but I love their music, and Daniel Johns is HOT!!!

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"Kari! Oh God! Kari!"

I feel someone pull me off Tai. But I'm too tired to fight back.

"Oh my God, Tai! Can you hear me?" I slowly open my eyes, and find myself looking at a very blurry outline of Sora. She was staring at me with a look of absolute terror in her eyes.

"Sora?" I hoarsely whisper. She wipes the tears from my eyes.

"Tai?" I ask, attempting to sit up. Sora helps me into a sitting position, and I find myself looking at a familiar blue-haired person- Joe. He was leaning over Tai, peering into his eyes. Sora was hugging me tightly. Joe put two fingers on Tai's neck, and breathes a sigh of relief. I sat up.

"He's alive," he said rather happily, "just unconscious. C'mon Sora, help me get him into bed. We need to keep him warm." Joe looks to Tai's bandaged arm. "I won't look at his arm right now, do that later when he wakes." I feel warm happiness spread through me. I hear Sora sigh.

"Will you be ok while I help Joe?" She asks, looking into my face. I nod. She smiles as she gets up. Gatomon and Patamon come and sit down next to me.

"He's alive," I mumble, mostly to myself. I feel so relieved, but so exhausted. I fall back and close my eyes. Gatomon immediately dashes to my head.

"Don't worry," I breathe, "I'll be fine." I was wrong. I almost fall immediately into another painful coughing fit. Sora instantly runs to me and helps me to sit up. Blood drips from my hands and mouth.

"Oh dear God," she whispers as I fall back exhausted into her arms.

"Patamon," she orders, "go and get a wet towel. Now!" I hear Patamon take off, and thirty seconds later, feel the warm touch of a wet towel wiping blood off my hands. 

"Joe," Sora calls, "I'm gonna lie Kari down on the couch." Sora slides her arm under my legs, and gently lifting me up, transports me to the couch. I pant for breath as Sora lies me down on the sofa.

"I'm sorry," I whisper as tears come on. Sora kneels down beside me, and pushes back my sweat-soaked fringe.

"That's ok," Sora reassures. She wipes away the small amount of blood left on my face, before pulling me into a hug. Emotions overcome me, and I break down on Sora's shoulder. Sora gently massages my back as I begin to choke on my tears. All of the night's events take hold of me, and destroy my emotional barrier. I am vulnerable. I am alone. Darkness swirls around me. Images of the night dance among the darkness. Matt dead in the hospital…Tai destroyed on the floor…knife in his hand…the blood…death teasing our every move. I see his face- staring at me through his cold, wicked eyes. He smiles at me, almost like he's waiting for something. He is pleased. Tonight was fun for him. He almost got Tai. But Tai will go…he will not survive…

My heart froze at my last thought. How could I be thinking such things? Of course Tai will live. He's stronger than that. Doubt floods my mind. To my horror, this doubt began seeping into my heart. No…Tai will live! He can't die. He just can't… My heart went cold. Harsh realities seep into my thoughts. Matt is dead from drugs…I'm sick from a chest infection…T.K could die any moment…this is all too much. No wonder Tai is shattered… 

I'm awoken from my thoughts by a murmuring. I quiet my tears to listen.

"But I'm not…not sure…not too sure…how it feels…to handle everyday…" Sora whispers sadly. I recognise the song: 'Miss you Love' by Silverchair. Matt loved it. Mimi had sent him a CD from America which had their most popular songs, and that was one of them. 

"But…it's gonna hurt…and I love the pain…" Sora continues, a lump growing in her throat. 

"But I'm not…not sure…not too sure how it feels…to handle everyday…"

"…Like the one that just passed..." I join quietly.   
"In the crowds of all the people…" We sing together. I withdraw from her hug. She is crying. 

"Matt's fave song…" I whisper. Sora nods back, a sincere smile appearing on her face.

"Yeh," she laughs, "He could never get away from that song. He listens to it twenty four-seven. And that other one, what was it?" Sora looks to the ceiling. "Oh yeah! 'Paint Pastel Princess' I think… Beautiful song. I bet he's listening to them right now." Sora giggles. My heart jumps into my throat. I burst into tears, catching Sora by surprise.

"Kari? Are you ok?" she asks, startled. I don't know whether I should tell her. I continue to cry into my knees.

"Kari! What's wrong? Tell me!" Sora comforts. I feel a rush of sorrow towards Sora. They were such close friends…  
"M-Matt's d-d-dead!" I sob. Sora gasps.

"What?" she asks, her eyes wide.

"H-he's dead!" I stammer between my tears. "He d-d-died about th-th-thirty m-minutes ago." Sora falls back. I continue to cry.

"Umm…ok…look, just c-calm down," Sora stammers. She gently rubs my shoulders. I take deep breaths and let my legs slide down to the floor. I rub my eyes on my sleeve.

"Now," Sora begins, "tell me exactly what happened." I look into her face. I see the anguish, confusion and anxiety in her eyes. But I also see the wanting for the news. I take one deep breath.

"Ok," I shakily begin, "Tai called Matt's place earlier tonight, and Matt wasn't there. He hasn't been home at all lately. Tai seemed to know where he was, and seemed worried. He left, and we, Gatomon, Patamon and I, followed him. We went to Dealer's Hill, y'know, the druggie haven. There Tai found Matt- he was completely stoned, and couldn't recognise anything. Tai had just realised we were there, and he was telling us off, when Matt lost consciousness. He had overdosed." Sora gasps and puts her hands over her mouth. I continue, "Tai picked up Matt and we ran to the hospital. They-they were looking at him when…when his…his heart failed." A lump was fast growing in my throat. "They-they tried to start it again, but…Tai ran…and I tried to chase after him…but I couldn't…" I bury my face in my hands. Sora wraps her arms around me. I could feel her shivering. A warm tear fell on the back of my t-shirt. 

"But it's all the same to me…" Sora whispers.

"But it's all the same to me…"

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Loooooooooooooooong chapta eh? I knew I could do it! Don't worry, the torturously short chapters will return! Mwahahahaha!!! =)


	23. Chapter 23 moonlight

Disclaimer: I still don't own Deegeemon or Silverchair, but I love Silverchair.

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_"Leave me alone!"_

_ _

I sit up, my breathing shallow. I feel cold sweat on my face, my heart pounding against my chest. I push my sopping fringe out of my eyes, and try to regulate my breathing. As I begin to calm down, I look around. Sora is sleeping on the couch, and Joe is sleeping about a metre away from me. I look at the clock on the wall- 2:15am. I get up, and walk to the kitchen. I didn't have a chance to take my medication before bed, so I decide to take it now. As I push out the pills, my thoughts wonder back to Tai, lying in my bed. I grab a glass, fill it with water, and swallow the pills. As I put the glass into the sink, I notice a reflection of light at the tip of the glass. I follow the stream of moonlight on the table, floor, beds, and find myself looking at the curtains that open out onto the balcony. A stream of moonlight is peeping through a gap in the curtains. A warm sense of calm spreads through me. I smile. Such a simple piece of nature, yet it gives me a calming feeling. I walk over to the curtains, and throw them open. The door was open, and the cool night air refreshes me. I close my eyes as the moonlight shines upon me, and I am lost in the moment. I open my eyes to look upon the city, when I notice a figure sitting in the corner of the balcony. I look directly at it, before gasping.

It was Tai.

I dash over to him. He was sitting with his bandaged arm propped on his knees, staring blankly at it. I kneel next to him, and throw my arms around his neck in a hug.

"Oh Tai…" I whisper, tears welling in my eyes. His breathing was erratic, and his face was cold.

"Why does is hurt so much?" he asks, his voice like an icy wave of depression. I withdraw from my hug, and stare at his cloudy brown eyes. They were no longer the warm, mischievous, caring eyes I had known all my life. These ones made my heart go cold.

"It will heal," I reply, referring to his arm, "if we look after it properly." Tai began to tremble, as his eyes slowly closed.

"Why does is hurt so much?" Tai asks again, his voice quavering. Then I realise. It's not his arm- it's his heart. I don't know what to say. Tai brings his legs in closer, and lowers his head_._ Emotions flood my mind. A single tear streams down my left cheek as I once again wrap my arms around Tai's shoulders. Tai moves closer to me. I rest my head in his soft brown hair.

"You don't know the truth… and I Luv Your Life…"

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I'm sorry it's taking me so long to update, but these chapters are no longer torturously short, but now torturously long to write! Thank you for being so patient! =) Next chapter up soon!!!


	24. Chapter 24 live

Disclaimer: Since Digimon hasn't gone on sale I still don't own it._ 'Luv Your Life'_ belongs to Silverchair, not me, because I can't write songs as well as Daniel Johns, but I love it, and I think it sorta works with this part of the story. So please don't sue! I'm broke! I need a job! =P

I would just like to thank _everyone_ who has read & reviewed. Thanx for inspiring me to go on! =)

  
_More torture is coming…_

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_Thrust the candle_

_To the dark of your disease_

_Burn the fishplate_

_Execute ill memories_

_Labyrinth of sympathy_

_In which I'm lost and can't leave_

_And too much truth_

_Overshadows the lime lies_

_And what lies beneath the clouds_

_Is an altered perception_

_And I'll pay for sanity_

_But sanity don't come cheap_

_You don't know the truth and I love your life_

_You don't know the truth and I love your life_

_Do do do do do do do do do do do do do _

_Do do do do do do do do do do do do do_

_Flinch against the fire_

_But this ain't winter_

_And I'm all by myself_

_The way I wanna be_

_Where I'm content to be to be all by myself_

_But frozen eyes are bound to melt_

_Do do do do do do do do do do do do do  _

_You don't know the truth, and I luv your life…_

I stir feebly, while the song continues to softly hum in my head. Sunlight streams through my eyelids. I moan softly as I open my eyes. I lift up my right hand to shield the sunlight. I shake the drowsiness away as the blue sky opens to me. I sigh lightly. _What a beautiful day…_ I look to my left, and find Tai awake. My stomach drops. His face is so blank… so lifeless… so sad…

"Tai?" I ask delicately, unsure of whether he'll respond. His eyes flicker.

"Hi Kari," he responds, his voice emotionless. He looks at a bird perched on our balcony railing. A dreamy look flashes in his eyes.

"I wonder what it's like to sit on the railing…" Tai says, not taking his eyes of the bird. I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. The bird flies away. Tai turns to me, but I only continue to stare back, my mouth open for the whole world to see. Tai grabs the side railings, and attempts to stand up. I close my mouth, and help him up. His legs tremble as he walks over to the railing where the bird was perched. We lean on the barrier, and I look out upon the other buildings, and the people walking in the street below us. A warm breeze blows past me. I feel movement beside me, and I turn to Tai. He was sitting on the barrier, gently swaying back and forth, looking down at the ground.

"Tai!" I hiss, worry rushing through me. "Get down from there! You could fall!" Tai takes no notice. I grab his right arm in an attempt to pull him backwards, but he winces, before wrenching his arm out of my grip, and overbalancing. As he falls forward, I grab the back of his t-shirt and pull him back. Tai falls into me, and we fall to the ground. Tai lets out one small sob.

"Why didn't you let me fall?" he whispers fiercely, but fails to cover the quiver in his voice. 

"What, and let you die?" I answer harshly.

"Yes."

There was a heavy silence.

"No, I won't let you die." I say, hugging him tighter.

"Why not?" Tai mumbles, almost sadly.

"Because you mean too much to me. You're my big brother. I can't let you just die like that, after all you've done for me."

"But can't you let me die, to show that you're grateful?"

I gasp with shock, before a new emotion takes over. I swing around, sit on his thighs, lift him by his shirt and slap him across the face. A tense silence fills the air. I release my grip on Tai's shirt, and he falls to the ground, gingerly holding his left cheek. I breathe heavily as Tai stares at me, stunned.

"I will never let you die," I whisper fiercely. Tai's eyes begin to water. I sit there, fuming, before a familiar sound breaks the silence between Tai and myself. I look up, and find Sora and Joe running towards us- shock obvious on their faces. Sora drops next to me.

"What happened?" she asks, worried.

"Nothing," I answer, my anger ebbing away. Tai continues to stare at me, disbelievingly.

"Oh, snap out of it Taichi," I snap, my anger rising again. Sora stares at me, eyes wide.

"Are you sure you're ok?" she asks again, brushing my fringe out of my eyes. I shoot Tai a warning glare before turning back to Sora.

"Just a little tired, I guess," I answer wearily. All of yesterday and today's events hang heavy on my shoulders. 

"C'mon," Sora says, helping me stand up, "let's get you inside. I'll cook both of you some breakfast." My legs tremble as I straighten up, so Sora picks me up and carries me inside. I look back to Joe helping Tai up, and Tai stares at me, a tear sliding down his cheek. He blinks, and gives me a look of confusion and sorrow. I feel so sorry for him. I pull myself off Sora and run to him. Joe lets go of Tai as I throw my arms around him- the force knocking us into the balcony wall. I hug him tightly. He tenderly wraps his arms around me.

"Oh Tai," I sob. "I'm sorry. I… I…"

"It's ok," he reassures. "I needed that. I should thank you."

"Oh Tai…"

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Next chapter: on it's way to a computer near you very soon!!! =)


	25. Chapter 25 sanity

Disclaimer: *sits there dreaming about hot guys* mmmmmm… oh, yeh… Digimon… don't own it… back to Riku… *drool*

Oh, btw, I'm going to start updating around once a week, since some of these chapters are agonisingly short and don't give away much of a story. Some of the later ones will be longer, and have more depth, but if I do write anything short and shallow, I'll add the next chapter as well. Thanx for your reviews (and emails)! =)

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"C'mon you two, you've gotta eat!"

I look down at the two home-made, Sora's-special-recipe pancakes that sit on my plate. My stomach climbs into my throat. I feel so guilty for some reason. I push the plate away.

"I'm sorry," I mumble. "I can't." Sora sighs and hangs her head. I look to Tai. He's staring at the plate- a painful emotional battle raging within. I sigh deeply. I look to Sora and Joe, who were both looking tired. Sora is holding her forehead in her hand, and Joe is looking forlorn. I feel a deep rush of gratitude towards them for all they've done for us. Out of appreciation I slice off a piece of one of the pancakes and eat it. Sora and Joe lift their heads and stare at me. Their faces light up as I swallow. Tai turns to me. I clutch my stomach as it tightens. I begin to feel queasy, and I cover my mouth as I run to the bathroom. _So much for that…_ I fall to my knees, trembling, as I hold the wall beside the toilet. I lean against the cool tiles as tears silently trickle down my cheeks. My stomach twists unpleasantly. I hear someone come in, and Sora massages my back calmingly. The tears stop, and I turn to her.

"I'm so sorry," I mumble, hanging my head. Sora puts her finger under my chin and lifts my head up.

"It's not your fault," she reassures. "If you don't want to eat, I can't force you. Just remember that I'm always willing to cook." Sora smiles warmly. I stare deep into her eyes. _She does so much for Tai and me… Why? Why would anyone put up with all of this?_

"Thanks Sora," I mumble truthfully. 

"That's ok," she replies. "Let's go back to the living room, eh?" Sora helps me stand up, and we walk back into the living room. Tai is sitting at the glass door looking out onto the balcony, while Joe is eating the pancakes. Sora helps me to the couch, where I look at Tai. My thoughts wander to T.K. I close my eyes, and I find myself standing next to T.K's hospital bed. The steady rhythm of beeping from the various machines float around me as I watch T.K's chest slowly rise and fall. I reach out my hand. As I touch his hand, I suddenly find myself back on the couch, still staring at Tai, whose hand is reaching out for the glass. I raise myself onto my knees and look over to the kitchen where Sora is pouring milk into a bowl.

"Sora," I call. Sora lifts her head.

"Yes Kari?" she asks, putting down the milk carton.

"I… I want to got see T.K." I answer. Joe turns to me, as Sora gives me a searching look.

"Are… are you sure?" she asks uncertainly.

"Yes," I answer, trying to inject some confidence into my voice. "But… can you please come?" Sora continues to look at me. A warm smile spreads across her face.

"Sure, I'll come," Sora answers. "When do you wanna go?"

"Can we go after I get changed?" I ask.

"Sure," Sora smiles. "I'll just feed your cats." Gatomon turns to her. I smile thankfully, before getting up and walking to my room. As I close the door, I see Tai, now leaning his head against the glass. A cold hand closes on my heart. I shut the door and walk to my wardrobe. I pull on my clothes, and stare into the mirror. A sad girl of eleven stares back. I turn away. As I take a step forward, I feel something damp beneath my feet. I look down. A cold, thick red liquid swims around my ankles. I panic. I can hear Tai moaning. I whip around, expecting to see Tai on the bed, but he's not there. _What's going on?_ A breeze blows the curtains against my hand. I flinch. Billowing curtains in the moonlight flash before my eyes. My breathing becomes faster. More flashes of billowing curtains in the moonlight. I close my eyes as I sink to my knees. I feel something on my hands, and open my eyes. Blood streams down my arms. Images of Tai on the floor flash before me. My head swims as painful memories reappear. 

_"Noo… leave me alone…" _I mumble, clutching my head. I open my eyes, and see the door. _An exit…_ I get to my feet, and rip open the door. Sora is slipping on her shoes. She turns and stares at me. I look at my hands and my feet. The blood is gone. No marks or anything.

"Are you ok Kari?" Sora asks, as I try to calm down.

"Yeh…I'm…fine," I lie. _What's going on? Am I going insane?_ Sora looks doubtfully at me.

"Are you sure?" she asks, unconvinced.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine," I reply defiantly as I pull on my shoes. _I want to get out of here…_Sora shrugs and we leave.

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Next chapter is under Chapter 26 =)


	26. Chapter 26 day

Disclaimer: *sigh* don't own it…

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The sun mocks me. Why does it have to shine so brightly? It knows what has happened; yet it glows so happily. The children pass by, holding balloons and laughing merrily. I feel so intimidated. But they are so innocent- they don't know the problems of the world we live in. 

Or the world I live in. 

I watch the children laughing and running around on this perfect day. I envy them. How I wish I was like them- laughing and joking, nothing to worry about. I wish T.K was better. I wish Matt was alive. I wish Tai would be back to the same fun brother I've known all my life. The sun disappears and deep shadow is cast by an enormous building, which casts darkness into my heart.

We have arrived.

The sounds of the emergency wing rush out of the door like evil spirits out of a church. I see death stalking in the corridors. He is happy. This is like a funfair to him. He sweeps down upon unsuspecting families and tears them apart. Dark memories flash before me. My legs tremble. Sora quickens her pace as I see Matt in Tai's arms as he runs through the hospital doors. My legs are moving, but I cannot see. Matt is lying on a hospital bed; Tai is shaking; I am lost. My legs are no longer moving. Matt is dying. The Grim Reaper closes his hand on my shoulder. I look to him.

_"Noo… please…"_ I whisper, tears welling in my eyes.

"Kari…" a faraway voice calls. I blink. Sora is standing next to me, calling me. I touch her hand, and I'm suddenly sitting next to her. 

"Kari! Are you there?" Sora asks, gently shaking my shoulders.

"Y…yes-yes, I'm here," I answer, shaking off the weary feeling. Sora sighs with relief.  
"Whew! I thought I'd lost you!" Sora jokes lightly. "Oh well, now that you're back, do you still wanna go visit T.K?" Sora points to the door to her left. I read the plate- 'Takashi Takeru'. I nod. We both stand up, and walk to the doorway. My mind races with every second that we get closer to the room. Pictures of T.K's illness flash before my eyes- him lying on the floor… in hospital… when he nearly died… the night I spent with him… Too soon Sora is turning the doorknob, and we enter. Mr. Ishida is staring out the window, and Mrs. Takashi is stroking T.K's hand. Mrs. Takashi lifts her head at the sound of the door closing. She smiles, and stands up. She looks very tired. Make-up was piled beneath her eyes to cover days of lost sleep. She walks over to us.

"Hello Kari," she greets, before wrapping her arms around me in a hug. I feel a rush of pity towards her. _She's been through so much…_She withdraws from our hug, and rubs my shoulder.

"It's good to see you dear," she says, before straitening up and hugging Sora.

"Thank you for coming," she says, as she pulls two chairs out from behind the door. "The doctor was just in before, and he said that T.K is improving." My heart lightens. Sora squeezes my hand. I sit down on a chair near T.K's right hand. Mr. Ishida continues to stare out the window. Mrs. Takashi resumes her place near T.K's left hand. I grasp T.K's hand, and lay my head near our hands.

"Oh T.K…" I whisper. Sora gently massages my back soothingly. I hear his slow and troubled breathing as I begin to relax. He's breathing by himself. _He's finally getting better…_ I feel like a small part of the darkness engulfing my heart and soul has gone. The man cloaked in darkness is releasing his hold upon my heart. He is looking down upon me no longer with greed to destroy my happiness. I find myself lost again in another world. I'm standing with T.K. He is no longer battling for life- he is free. He smiles at me. I hold his hand. It's warm. My face brightens as I smile for the first time. T.K squeezes my hand. My eyes snap open and I sit up quickly. Sora stares at me in surprise.

"What's wrong?" she asks, worried.

"Nothing," I dismiss. I look around, confused. _What woke me?_ I gently rub my thumb on T.K's warm hand. _Warm?_ His hand is warm! I squeeze his hand. He's gonna get better!

"Oh T.K," I whisper hopefully. I lay my head on his bed once more. 

"Kari?"

I raise my head. Mrs. Takashi gasps. I look to T.K. A low moan sounds, before his eyes slowly open. My heart beats rapidly. 

"Kari?" he whispers, his eyes flickering towards me.

"I…I'm here T.K," I stammer. I step nearer to his head.

"Kari…" he whispers weakly.

"I'm right here T.K," I say, my voice trembling. A tear streaks down my cheek. I feel his hand squeeze mine. More tears come. Sora gently squeezes my shoulder.

"Don't cry…Kari," he gasps, his breathing becoming difficult again. I smile as I cry even more.

"Oh T.K," I breathe. "I'm so happy." The tears continue to come. T.K smiles weakly. Mrs. Takashi bursts into tears. T.K slowly turns to her.

"Please don't cry mum," he whispers, as she cries even more.

"I'm alright Takeru," she assures breathlessly. "I'm just so happy you're alive." T.K smiles. He slowly turns to me, and sighs wearily.

"I'm so tired…" he whispers. I bend over and kiss his forehead.

"Sleep then," I whisper, as I slowly lift my head. "Sleep." 

T.K smiles.

"Thank you…"

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Ooooh!!! Next chapter up soon!!! =)


	27. Chapter 27 there

Disclaimer: I don't own it…never have…

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"Kari. It's time to go."

I turn to Sora pleadingly. She smiles forgivingly. I sigh as I stand up.

"Goodbye Mrs. Takashi," I say as I bow. "Goodbye Mr. Ishida."

"Thank you for coming honey," Mrs. Takashi replies. Sora and I smile.

"Excuse me girls," Mr. Ishida asks, speaking for the first time, "but do you know where Matt is?"

My heart races. Images of Matt dying on a hospital bed flash through my mind.

"I think he's at home, Mr. Ishida," came Sora's voice, "but I'm not sure." I look to Sora, before turning to Mr. Ishida. He nods.

"Thanks," he replies, "I'll give him a call." Sora smiles, before opening the door, and we leave.

"What're we gonna do?" I whisper as soon as she closes the door, a hint of panic obvious in my voice. "Are we gonna tell him?" Sora pulls me further away from the door.

"I'm not sure," she answers wearily. "I want to tell him, because I think it's the right thing to do. But T.K's just getting better, and I don't wanna destroy what little happiness they have. Plus Matt and his father didn't have a very good relationship, and him finding out Matt OD'd on drugs mightn't do much good. So I don't know." Sora sat down, defeated. I sit down next to her. Sora was right. They have a right to know, but is it good for them not to know, and enjoy their happiness with T.K now awake?

"C'mon," Sora sighs, interrupting my thoughts, "lets go. I told Joe we'd be home by twelve, and it's twelve now." Sora holds out her hand, and helps me onto my feet.

"Thanks Sora," I mumble, "thanks for everything." Sora smiles we walk into the elevator.

"That's alright," she replies. "What're friends for? I'll be here for you whenever you need me." I rest my head against her shoulder.

"Thank you." I whisper. I close my eyes wearily. The steady beat of Sora's heart echoes through my head. My mind wanders, and I find myself back inside a memory as a little girl. Tai and Sora are running towards me, kicking a soccer ball.

"Hey Kari!" Tai calls, sounding as if calling from far away, "get ready to catch the ball!" Tai kicks the ball forward, and I run towards it. But as I catch the ball with my feet, I trip over. I cry as my elbow stings. Sora and Tai run towards me. Sora drops next to me, and pulls out a bandaid.

"Don't worry," came her distant voice, "I'll fix it." She smiled as she put the bandaid on my elbow. I stopped crying.

"There ya go," Sora laughs, "all better!" I smile.

"Good on ya Sora!" Tai cries as he stands up. "Don't worry Kari! I'll cheer you up!" Tai picks up the ball and tries to balance it on his head. I begin to laugh. _Sora has always been there for Tai and me…_

Thank you Sora… 

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Next chapter, up very soon =)


	28. Chapter 28 alive

Disclaimer: o well, I still don't own it…

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"C'mon Kari, we're on the ground floor." 

I open my eyes. The rush of the emergency wing is thrown right at us as we step out of the elevator. I can see doctors and nurses trying to make their ways quickly through crowds to get to needy patients, families rushing in to find out information about their loved ones, and Death- he is here again. Sora and I make our way into the crowd. My stomach begins to feel queasy as the noises swirl around me. I hold my stomach as it begins to twist. The sounds contort… I can hear Tai screaming… where is he? He's trembling… he's scared… I can see him… he's running… he's holding Matt… the hospital… it's all coming back… I can't see where I am… Tai… Sora…

"Kari? Are you ok? Can you hear me?"

Yes… 

"Kari! Wake up!"

I open my eyes. Sora's face swims into view. I blink.

"Oh good," she sighs, "You're back." I look around, confused. The many people rushing here and there reminds me that we're still in the emergency wing. 

"Yeh, we're still in the hospital," Sora answers, reading my face. "I turned around and you weren't there. I found you sitting on the floor, so I brought you over here and tried to wake you. And here you are!" Sora smiles. "Are you ready to go?" I don't answer. I continue to look around, reading all the notices on the walls. My eyes fall upon the entrance to a room- a room that makes my heart go cold. It was the room Matt was in last night when he… when he… Sora follows my gaze, and sighs sadly. A doctor exits the room, and closes the door. I read the nameplate. I gasp.

'Ishida Yamato'

I get up and run to the door. I read the nameplate again. 'Ishida Yamato'. _Why would they put his name on a door if he's dead? Unless…_ I slowly turn the doorhandle, and push open the door.

It was Matt.

He's lying on the bed, many wires connecting him to different machines. Rhythmical beeping echoes around the small room. I can't believe it… Sora arrives next to me, and gasps. I shakily begin to walk forward; mixed emotions spinning dangerously fast in my head. I reach his bed, and slowly extend a trembling hand to touch his cheek. It's warm. A cold sensation washes over me, and I fall to my knees. Sora rushes to me.

"He's… he's… alive…" I mutter to myself. I feel Sora's arms wrap around my shoulders. I turn to her. The cold feeling disappears. A light feeling spreads throughout my body. Sora smiles.

"He's alive!" I exclaim, as I throw my arms around Sora, and cry into her top.

"He's alive… he's alive," I repeat, crying even more.

He's alive… 

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Next chapter up nice 'n soon!!! =)


	29. Chapter 29 bandages

Disclaimer: *sigh* I wish I could own Digimon…

Note: ok, for people who don't know, Joe (Jyou) Kido has _two _brothers. There's Jim, the one you see in the first series, who's becoming a doctor and going overseas (I think =P), then there's the one in 02 who owns that cute Volkswagen Beetle, who is _not_ Jim, but Schuu, Joe's eldest brother. Oh well…

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"Tai!"

I kick off my shoes and run towards the living room.

"Tai! Tai! Where are you?" I look around, my mind overflowing with happiness. _I can't believe it! Matt's alive! Everything's gonna be ok!_ Excitement courses through me. 

"Anybody home?" Sora calls as she walks in behind me. I look out onto the balcony. I see Joe leaning on the barrier. Tai's not there.

"I'll go check the bedroom," I say to Sora as she walks towards the sliding door. I jog to the bedroom and knock on the door.

"Tai?" I ask as I turn the doorhandle. I peep inside. Nobody there. My happiness begins to ebb away as worry sets in. I walk to the bathroom.

"Tai? Are you in there?" I call as I press my ear against the door. I hear water running. I slowly push open the door, and find Tai.

"Oh Tai," I sigh sadly as I kneel next to him. He's sitting in the bathtub, fully dressed, with the shower running water onto his head. Water occasionally laps over the sides. I turn off the water.

"C'mon Tai," I say gently, rubbing his shoulder, "let's get you out." Tai sighs and looks to me.

"What's the point?" he replies, before sliding down into a lying position underneath the water. Water flows over the edge onto my legs.

"Because," I grab Tai's shirt and wrench him out of the water, "Matt's alive, Tai. He's alive." Tai looks at me, his eyes searching for the truth.

"What?" he asks, disbelievingly.

"Matt is alive," I repeat clearly. "I saw him in the emergency ward. Sora was there too, if you don't believe me." Tai sat up, breathing heavily.

"He's…he's…alive…?" Tai breathes, uncertainty evident in his voice.

"Yes," I smile. "He's alive Tai." Tai stares at me pleadingly.

"Are you…" he begins, but I place a finger on his lips to silence him.

"Shhh, no more. Let's get you outta here and dry." I place his left arm across my shoulders, and stand up. More water washes onto the floor as he steps out of the bath. I grab a towel and wrap it around him. Tai shivers. We walk out the door onto the sopping wet carpet. Sora jogs towards us.

"Is he ok?" she asks, peering at him anxiously. Tai gently shakes his head, spraying water everywhere.

"Yeh, he's fine," I reply, wringing water from his drenched hair. "All we need is more towels." I walk to our laundry and grab some towels. We begin to dry off Tai. 

"So how's T.K?" Joe asks as he gently dabs at Tai's bandaged arm.

"He woke up," I answer, as I rub Tai's hair with a towel in an attempt to dry it. "He's getting better." A warm feeling settles in my heart.

"That's great news," Joe replies, a tone of happiness echoing merrily in his voice. Sora smiles. My thoughts wander back to T.K. _I was the first person he wanted when he woke!_ _He's finally conscious, and he's gonna be fine! And Matt's alive! Tai won't be so depressed anymore, and Sora won't have to be so worried. Today is a beautiful day…_

A sharp intake of breath interrupts my thoughts. I look to Joe, who is holding Tai's bandaged arm. A red stain runs along the entire length of the bandage. 

"The wound's reopened," Joe states, peering closer at the blood. The colour darkens.

"I'll grab some bandages," Sora says, turning and walking briskly to the bathroom. Joe leads Tai to the kitchen table and helps him to sit down. I walk over to them, and sit on Tai's left side. Joe begins to unwrap the bandages. My heart tightens as the bloodstain gets bigger and bigger with every layer. Sora returns with the bag of bandages and kneels next to Joe. Her face whitens at the sight of the blood.

"Are you ok Tai?" Sora asks, obviously thinking the same as me. _Is he in terrible pain?_ Tai doesn't answer, continuing to stare blankly at his arm. Joe reaches the final layer, and blood runs down Tai's arm onto his shorts. Joe pulls the remaining blood-soaked layer off his arm, and furrows his brow. I gasp as Sora covers her mouth. The wound is deeper than first thought, and almost the whole thing is open and bleeding. Tai begins to sway.

"Sora, I need-" Joe begins, but Sora nods and jumps up. She runs to the bathroom, returning with a wet towel. I hold Tai's hand. Joe begins to softly wipe away the blood. Tai winces with every touch. I start to feel queasy as I watch blood reappear along Tai's arm.

"I need your help Sora," Joe asks, still concentrating on Tai's arm, "Can you please continue wiping away the blood while I begin to bandage it? The blood's coming too fast, and I can't bandage at the same time." Sora nods, and takes the towel off Joe. Joe forages through the bag, before pulling out one of the larger bandages. Tai screams in pain as Joe places the bandage on his arm. Blood flows from his wound. I kneel on my chair and wrap my arms around Tai, resting my head in his hair.

"Shhh… it's ok Tai, don't worry…" I whisper soothingly. I gently rub his shoulder as he winces in pain. His breathing becomes heavy as more blood surfaces.

"He's stressing out," Joe mumbles quietly. "He's losing a lot of blood. Calm down Tai! It's ok! Just a little longer!" Joe quickens his pace. Tai moans as the cool bandage covers his arm. As Joe finishes the first layer, Sora stands up and walks into the kitchen. I continue to watch Joe's bloodstained hands wrap the rest of the bandage around Tai's arm. Tai winces as Joe carefully clips the bandage in place.

"Done," Joe breathes, exhaling deeply. I sit back down on my chair, and lean my head against Tai's shoulder. Sora returns, and peers at Tai.

"Tai? Are you ok?" Sora asks, placing a finger under his chin and lifting his head to face hers. Tai moans softly, before closing his eyes. I sit up and look at Tai.

"Tai? Can you hear me?" Sora persists; worry quavering in her voice. Tai doesn't answer.

"We need to get him to a doctor," Joe calls from the kitchen, where he's washing the blood off his hands. "He's lost quite a bit of blood, and that wound isn't shallow. He's dizzy, and I don't think he's up to walking, so I'll call my brother to give us a lift in his car to the hospital." I nod, rubbing Tai's shoulder methodically. "But until he comes, we'll just lie Tai on the couch and keep him comfortable." Sora nods.

"C'mon Tai," I say as Sora and I help him up. We slowly make our way to the couch, and lie Tai down. I grab a cushion and place it under Tai's injured arm. Tai flinches at the contact.

"It's ok Tai, don't worry," I soothe, as I move his damp fringe off his face. I sit on the floor near Tai's head as he begins to fall asleep. I hear Joe dial a number on the phone.

"Hello, this is Schuu."

"Hey buggie, it's Joe."

"Hey Joe! How are you?"

"I'm good thanks, how 'bout you?"

"I'm fine thanks. What's up?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm at home, why?"

"Can you come 'round to Tai's place? We need your help."

"Yeh sure. What's wrong?"

"Tai's got a deep cut running along his right arm, and it's bleeding rather profusely. We need to take him to the hospital, but he's dizzy- so I don't think it's a good idea to take him on the bus. Do you think you could come 'round and give us a lift to the hospital?"

"Yeh sure. I'll be 'round there soon."

"Thanks buggie."

"Ha ha. No prob. See ya!"

"Bye."

Joe hung up the phone.

"He'll be here soon," Joe says as he walks over to us. I sigh wearily. One minute everything seems to be going perfectly, next minute someone's bleeding to death. I rest my forehead in my hands. It feels warm. _Oh great, just what I need. Another fever._ I scowl darkly. _Why do I always have to screw everything up? Just when Tai needs me, I get sick_. I close my eyes and sigh in defeat. _Why me?_

"Are you ok, Kari?" Sora asks, interrupting my thoughts. I open my eyes and turn to her.

"Yeh," I answer wearily, "just tired, I guess." Sora gives me a small smile. 

"Don't worry," Sora adds, "everything'll be fine." 

_Will it?_

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oh, my poor Taichi! *hugs tai tightly* luv ya baby!!! =)

Next chapter up soon!!! =)


	30. Chapter 30 travel

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon…but I wish I did…coz then Tai'd be all mine…=)

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The doorbell rings.

"I'll get it," Joe calls from the kitchen.

"Hey Joe," comes a voice.

"Hey buggie!" Joe greets. "Come in." Joe's oldest brother, Schuu, walks over to us. Sora and I stand up.

"Hello Schuu," I say as I bow.

"Hey Kari!" he replies cheerfully. "Hey Sora! It's great to see you." Sora smiles warmly, "It's good to see you too."

"So, where's Tai?" Schuu asks, looking towards the bedroom.

"Right in front of you," Sora answers, looking down at the couch where Tai lay sleeping.

"Oh ok," Schuu says, following Sora's gaze. "So, we go now? The car's just in the carpark next to this building." 

I nod. "Let's go." I kneel down next to Tai.

"Tai? C'mon, wake up Tai." I call, gently shaking his shoulder. Tai mutters something, before slowly opening his eyes. His eyes flicker towards me.

"Hi Kari," he mumbles, his words slurring slightly.

"C'mon Tai, let's get you up," I say to him as I place my arm behind his shoulders and help him to sit up. Sora grasps his left wrist, places his arm across her shoulders and lifts him onto his feet. Tai cries out in pain as his right arm touches the armrest. I lift his right arm and place it tenderly across my shoulders, placing a cushion on the front of my right shoulder to gently rest Tai's injured arm upon it. Tai cringes at the contact. Joe and his brother go to the front door and open it as Sora and I help Tai to walk out the door. Tai surprisingly walks there with little help from us. We slip on our shoes, and leave.

"So what's going on Joe?" Schuu asks quietly. Joe sighs deeply.

"I'm not entirely sure myself buggie," Joe replies. "This has become more and more complicated. Basically, Takeru Takashi, Yamato Ishida's brother, collapsed and became seriously ill around two weeks ago, and since then things have spiralled down. T.K nearly died, Kari collapsed after overdosing on expired medication, Matt overdosed on drugs, Tai slashed his arm after falling into depression after thinking Matt had died, and Kari's coughing up blood."  A guilty feeling settled in my stomach as Joe finished the sentence. Sora pushes the button for the elevator. "Sora and Kari went to the hospital this morning to see T.K, and he woke. They also found Matt alive in the emergency ward. They returned with the good news, only to find Tai nearly drowning himself in the bathroom. When drying him off, I saw blood seeping through the bandage, and getting darker. That's when we found out it was bleeding badly. So now we're on our way to the hospital, and that's basically all." Joe finished. He'd been speaking rather quietly, trying to keep his conversation between him and Schuu. Tai's heavy breathing and occasional moan had silenced it from his ears, but I heard every word. The guilty feeling squirms around in my stomach. A 'ping' noise tells us we're on the ground floor. The doors open, and we walk towards the exit. The glass doors slide open. The sun shines merrily upon the landscape. The many windows on the tall buildings mirror the sunlight and reflect it down onto the roads and footpaths. I raise my hand to shield the light. It blinded me.

"You guys wait here and I'll get the car," Schuu tells us, as he jogs towards the carpark. A few scattered people walk by on the other side of the road. I watch them; wondering, wondering what the rest of my friends are doing. Wondering what's happening in the Digital World. Wondering what my parents are doing. Wondering…

"C'mon Kari," Sora's voice echoes around me, "let's get Tai in the car." I abandon my train of thought, and focus back on the cute yellow Volkswagen Beetle parked in front of me. Joe opens the front passenger side door and moves the seat forward for the three of us to hop in the back. Sora, Tai and I walk towards the car.

"I'll hop in first," I say to Sora, "and sit behind the driver. You hop in the middle, and Tai'll hop in behind the passenger side. He can lie on our laps if he can't sit up." Sora nods. I slowly and carefully lift Tai's arm off my shoulder and gently lower it back down. I quickly jump in the car and climb over to the driver's side of the back. Joe helps Tai keep his balance as Sora jumps in and sits in the middle. Joe then helps Tai lower himself into the back seat- trying to keep his right arm as still as possible. Tai swings his legs into the car and immediately falls onto Sora's shoulder. Sora sighs and helps him lie down. Joe fixes the passenger chair, hops in and closes the door. Tai lies his head on my lap and winces as the car begins to move.

"Shhh," I whisper, soothing his soft fringe out of his eyes, "It's ok. You'll be fine." I smile warmly, trying to ease his pain and troubles. I inhale deeply, enjoying the smell of fresh flowers, which were in a vase in the front of the car. My chest begins to feel heavy, (_no…please…not now…)_ and I start to cough. Joe swivels around in his seat and Sora places her hand on my back. My head pounds as my chest tightens. My coughing becomes more painful as a warm liquid seeps into my mouth. Sora rubs my back as a single drop of blood appears on my hand. I cough once more, and blood trickles from my mouth. My head burns as I tremble with exhaustion. Joe's brother looks in the rear-vision mirror, and sees the blood dripping from my mouth.

"Are you ok?" he asks, alarmed.

"Do you have any tissues?" Sora asks as I attempt to swallow the blood in my mouth.

"Yeh…yeh in the pocket behind Joe," he replies shakily, turning his vision back to the road. Sora forages around in the pocket, before pulling out a box of tissues.

"Kari?" Tai asks as Sora wipes the blood off my hands.

"Yes Tai?" I answer breathlessly, trying to prevent any blood falling onto Tai.

"Are you ok?" he slowly asks, watching a drop of blood hang precariously off my lip.

"Don't worry," I answer, catching the drop of blood as it fell. "I'm fine." A dull pain throbs in my forehead.

"You lie," he replies, staring at me with a suspicious look. I look away.

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NeXt ChApTeR uP soon! =)


	31. Chapter 31 screams

Disclaimer: …still luv Taichi…still don't legally own him…

Ok, I really need to apologise for the crappiness of the last chapter. I'm so sorry, and I hope this one makes up for it! Enjoy (if u can)! =)

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"We're here!" Joe exclaims. I look up to the familiar daunting building. A cold feeling swims around my stomach. Joe gets out, and helps us with Tai. As I step out of the car, a hot feeling surges through my head. I stumble as my vision blurs. Sora catches me.

"Are you ok, Kari?" Sora asks, worried.

"Yeh…musta tripped on the curb," I lie. I close my eyes as my head slowly ceases to spin. I open my eyes, and find Sora staring at me accusingly. I recoil.

"I'll go park the car and join you in there," Schuu calls through the open passenger window. Sora turns away.

"Ok, thanks!" Joe calls back. I hold onto Tai as we walk through the doors into the emergency ward. It's quieter than this morning; not as many people were walking or running around. We walk to the receptionist.

"How can I help you?" she asks politely, a tone of fatigue in her voice.

"Our friend has a gash running down his right arm," Joe explains, "and it was bleeding quite freely. We bandaged it up, but it's rather deep, and he's dizzy from the blood loss." The nurse looks to Tai's bandaged arm resting on my shoulder.

"Take a seat," she sighs wearily, "a doctor will be with you shortly." She sips a cup of steaming hot coffee before typing something into a computer.

"Thank you," Joe adds, as we turn to find a seat. A row of six chairs presents itself before us. I drop onto the hard plastic chair, exhausted. I feel a headache coming on. Sora helps Tai to lie down, and his head falls into my lap. I rub my forehead angrily. Sora sits next to me.

"What's wrong?" she asks, grasping my shoulder. I run my hand through my hair, my thoughts spinning dangerously.

"I've… just got a headache," I lie. Tai snorts. I look to him.

"You can't fool me Kamiya," Tai says defiantly, staring at me. "You lie. You're not fine. You may have a headache, but there's more. You can't hide…" I hang my head. Tai's eyes continue to bore into me. I stare back into his brown eyes. I see the determination, the stubbornness, the pain… but I see past that, and I see the brother that I always knew- the brother that had died last night. _It was all my fault… I knew T.K was sick… why didn't I tell someone? It's all my fault…_

_"Yes…it is all your fault," a nasty voice repeats from the back of my mind. "You killed him. You killed Taichi Kamiya…your own brother." _

_I gasp. No…I didn't…did I? _

_"Yes you did," the nasty voice hisses, "It's all your fault. You did this, Hikari Kamiya. You killed your own brother. It's all your fault…" _

_My heart goes cold as the nasty truth sinks in. It's all my fault…I killed him…It's all my fault…_

"It's all my fault," I whisper, tears falling from my eyes.

"What?" Tai asks, confused. Tai clenches his teeth as his arm rises with his chest. _Tai is like this because of me…_

"It's all my fault," I murmur, reality bearing down on me. My heart's pace quickens as my chest tightens.

"Kari? What's going on?" Sora asks slowly, a tone of fright in her voice.

"It's all my fault… it's all my fault," I moan, clutching my head. _Voices…T.K on the floor…It's all my fault…Blood on my hands…blood dripping from my mouth…Tai worried…It's all my fault…Patamon crying…Tai trembling…It's all my fault…It's all my fault…_

"Kari!" Sora calls, pulling at my arm. I open my eyes. I see my trembling legs. _Where's Tai?_

"Where's Tai?" I cry, wildly looking around, trembling with panic.

"Kari! Calm down!" Sora soothes, grasping my shoulders steadily. "He's with the doctor. They're looking after him. It's ok Kari, it's not your fault." _Fault…_

"It's my fault!" I cry, clutching Sora's wrist. "It's all my fault! I knew T.K was sick! I stopped Tai from helping Matt! I'm a burden on everybody!" I was hysterical. My breathing begins to hitch.

"Kari! Please calm down! You're gonna suffocate!" Sora cries, clasping my shoulders tightly. I hear Tai scream. 

"Tai…" I breathe. I begin to writhe about, trying to escape her hold. I pull back, breaking free of her grip, and jump to my feet. I turn around. I see Joe's brother poke his head out the door to see what was happening. I sprint towards him.

"Kari!" Sora calls after me. I ignore her. I see Schuu's face change from inquiry to shock as I run past him and rebound off the doorway into the small room. I stop. Everyone turns to me. Tai is sitting on the bed, his injured arm and the sheets around it blanketed in blood. The silence is only broken by the steady drip, drip, drip of blood on the floor. I see Tai's bleary eyes. A blood-curdling scream pierces through my mind. I close my eyes and back away. I clutch my head, trying to get rid of the painful memories. _The blood on the floor… My back touches the wall, and I slide to the floor. _Tai's lying on the floor…the carpet's stained with blood…it's all my fault_…_Tai's in terrible pain…it's all my fault…Matt's dying…it's all my fault…T.K's dying…it's all my fault…I'm dying…__

_I open my eyes. An unseen wind blows across me. I'm not in the hospital. Am I…dead?_

"You are not…" a voice answers. I glance wildly around. "But you are close to death. You are the child of light…but the darkness is taking over…beware…you must remember…the closer you are to the light…the greater your shadow becomes…" I look behind me. A shadow looms tall over me. "…beware…child of light…" The darkness below me begins to swirl and bubble. Wisps of darkness swirl around my legs. I try to pull away…but it is too strong… It grasps my wrists, and pulls me further down. I can't breathe… I scream…

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I hope u like! Next chapter up soon! =)


	32. Chapter 32 haze

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Surely those lawyers know by the 32nd chapter?!

Thanks to all who've read and reviewed!!! I luv ya all!!! =)

Um… things go a little downhill from here… how downhill? Try a cliff.

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My eyes snap open.

Sora, Joe and Schuu are all staring at me intently. My breathing is erratic as I recall my dream with disturbing clarity. I don't see Tai. I panic.

"Kari, please calm down!" Sora cries, her voice hanging heavy with fright. I look into her eyes. I see the exhaustion, the fright, the pain… Guilt surges through me. I can't take it anymore…

I stand up quickly, startling Joe, Schuu and Sora. I push through them, a cry of "Kari!" following me as I run through the door. But I stumble as another surge of dizzying heat sweeps through my head. My vision becomes cloudy as I sprint through the ward and out into the street. The blinding sunlight stings my eyes as I escape the shadow of the building, and run out onto the road. A blaring horn brings me sharply back to earth. I turn, blinking dazedly, and see the shocked faces of the driver and passenger of a car screeching to a halt. My heart stops as the bumper bar nudges my knees. In the haze of my tears and fear, I see someone familiar- his ocean-blue eyes filled with shock and confusion. I turn back to the hospital, and find Sora, Joe and his brother running towards me. I give one last swift look to the person in the car, and tear across the road.

"Kari!" The distant call rings in my ear. _I can't go back…not after what I've done…It's all my fault…_

Tears flood my eyes, and I can no longer see. Blurry outlines of trees loom around me, and strike an unknown fear into my heart. I raise my hand to wipe away the tears, but not in time. My foot snags on an exposed tree-root, and I skid along the ground. A stinging sensation erupts from my right knee. I wipe the tears on my sleeve and peer down at my leg. Blood trickles down my calf. My breath catches in my chest as I watch a single drop streak down my leg. _Blood…_

"No…" I breathe, the painful thoughts slowly surfacing. I scramble to my feet and run. I pelt along the worn path through the trees, ignoring the screaming protest from my knee. I blink away tears, and find myself on the border of a park. _I remember this place…Tai loves to play soccer here…_ Echoing footsteps behind me snap me back into reality, and I look around wildly for an escape. A small notch in a tree jolts my memory. _Tai's little hideaway…_ Tai loved to go exploring, and a few years ago had found a quiet, secluded area that he and another boy called their own. I never knew who the other boy was. I quickly jump over a log barring the path and run through the trees. Many small branches and leaves scrape across my injured knee. I bite my lips together as the urge to scream in pain becomes unbearable. I turn and look behind me, hoping that they didn't see me run in here. _Not long now…almost there…_ I turn back to face forward just as a searing pain erupts on my injured knee. A strong branch had flung into my wound. I scream in pain as my knees buckle. I fall forward and skid into a grassy clearing. The smell of fresh grass floods my nostrils as my knee explodes with pain. A wave of searing dizziness washes over me as I fall into darkness. _I can no longer hold on…_

"I warned you…child of light…" 

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Ooooh!!! Don't worry! I'll update soon!!


	33. Chapter 33 ocean

Disclaimer: it's a well-known fact. I don't own Digimon, but I wish I could…luv ya Taichi!!! *squeezes Tai* squeeeee!!!

Thank you to _everyone_ who's reviewed!!! If I wasn't so broke, I'd buy you all pressies!!! Wait…RockeandRoll's got a job… ehehehe…=)

Thank you Shadow-of-Hearts and LilJL for emailing me!!! =) 

Shadow-of-Hearts, UR STORY ROX!!! =)

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"Kari! Oh no… Kari!"

The call echoes softly in my head. The sound of waves crashing onto a shore enters my mind. The sound comforts me, yet fear creeps into my heart.

"Kari! Answer me!"

Another call. Who do I answer? The waves crash again. The sound comforts me. Darkness envelops my soul.

"No…hang on Kari! Please!"

I'm sorry… 

~:-------------------------------O-------------------------------:~

I open my eyes, and stare out into the familiar horizon. The calm water gently laps the shore. _The dark ocean…_ The water gently washes over my feet- each drop an icy touch to my skin. I reach down and catch some of the water in my hands. I straighten up and stare at the still, shadowy water in my cupped hands. Ripples appear on the surface, and a figure slowly rises from the water. His face downcast, a miniature Tai stands on the small puddle of water. Tears well in my eyes.

"Kari," a voice calls, startling me. The minute Tai disappears as I turn around. Ken's concerned face comes into view- his ocean-blue eyes staring deep into mine.

"Ken…" I breathe quietly, wishing my tears would stop. The water falls from my hands onto the sand. Ken steps towards me, and wipes the tears from my eyes. The warm touch of his hand comforts my uneasy heart.

"What's wrong Kari?" Ken asks gently. "What brings you here?" The water softly washes around my ankles. I shudder.

"I…I can't…it…it's all my fault…" I reply, my voice cracking with emotion. Water circles around my ankles- the cold feeling sending shivers throughout my body. My vision contorts. I see Tai shivering…he's cold…he's frightened…_I killed him…_

"I…killed him…" I mutter blankly, staring at the dark trees behind Ken. I focus back on Ken- his face filled with confusion.

"I killed him Ken," I repeat, my voice rising. "I killed him! I killed my own brother! I killed Taichi!" My breathing quickens as I cover my face with my hands. Guilt surges through me- stabbing at my tortured heart. I feel Ken wrap his arms around me. I clutch his shirt as I bathe in his warmth. I cry into his shoulder. Another wave of icy water washes over our feet. Ken pulls away and grasps my shoulders gently.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" he asks comfortingly, staring deep into my eyes. I close my eyes and shake my head.

"No…please don't make me," I moan, trying to suppress the surfacing memories.

"I won't make you," Ken replies, obviously sensing my unease. "If you don't want to. But _why_ are you here then? What is your fault?" I open my eyes, guilt washing over me. Panic arises in my chest.

"I killed Tai," I answer, my voice breathy. "I killed my own brother! It's all my fault! I knew T.K was sick! I didn't tell anybody! I killed Taichi Kamiya!" I sink to my knees, terrified of what I did. Ken kneels in front of me.

"It's all my fault…" I mumble, "…It's all my fault…I knew T.K was sick, why didn't I tell anyone? I stopped Tai from helping Matt when I collapsed. Tai's spirit's gone…It's all my fault…I killed him…" I bury my face in my hands. Ken strokes my shoulder calmingly.

"Kari, nothing's your fault. You can't help what has happened. It's not your fault that T.K was that sick. It's not your fault Matt's on drugs. It's not your fault you got sick. Don't blame yourself like that. It'll get you nowhere. Believe me." I look to him. His eyes mirror feelings of pain, suffering and loss. _He's been through so much more than me…He lost his brother to death…He lost Wormon…All those things he did as the Kaiser must haunt him terribly. I know nothing compared to him…_ A deep rush of sorrow for Ken runs through me.

"I'm so sorry Ken," I mumble, tears streaking down my cheeks. A small reassuring smile appears on Ken's face.

"That's ok Kari," he replies, brushing my fringe out of my eyes. _I can't believe I've been so selfish. Here I am falling apart on Ken when I should be the one helping him. _I sigh wearily._ But I'm so tired…_ All the events of the past twenty-four hours hang heavy on my shattered soul. My head begins to spin, and I fall exhausted into Ken's arms.

"I want to go home," I mumble quietly, my words slurring slightly.

"Ok, let's go home."

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Next chapter should be up! =)


	34. Chapter 34 coincidence

Disclaimer: oh…c'mon…you can't seriously tell me you don't know by now?

Don't worry, we'll get back to everyone else soon enough. Don't worry RockeandRoll, I will probably end up killing them all off. The way they're going… anyway, ENJOY! =)

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"Ken!"

"Hello Wormon. I'm sorry I had to leave you here."

"That's ok Ken. I understand."

The conversation slowly passes through my pounding head. A weak sunlight dances across my face, sending little warmth to my tortured heart. A child's laugh reaches my ears.

"Kari? Can you hear me?" Ken's voice calls. I open my mouth, but no sound comes out.

"Kari?" Ken asks again, now gently shaking my shoulder. The movement triggers something in my chest, and I cough. As my chest contracts, the wound on my knee I had previously forgotten erupts in pain- stronger than before. I scream, startling Ken and Wormon.

"Kari! What's wrong?" Ken asks, shocked. I feel warm blood slowly trickle down my leg. I open my eyes. A blurry outline of Ken's face comes into view. I wince again as the stabbing pain continues to attack my knee.

"I think it's her knee Ken," came Wormon's deep voice. Ken turns to my knee, and nods. I wipe the tears out of my eyes, and Wormon's head comes into view.

"Hello Kari," he says politely.

"Hello…Wormon," I reply slowly, my vision clearing.

"C'mon Kari," Ken's voice interrupts, "let's get you outta here." I nod. I wrap my arms around his neck as he slowly stands up. But before I can attempt to stand on my own legs, Ken places his left arm beneath my knees, and begins to carry me out of the clearing.

"Thank you Ken," I mumble gratefully.

"It's ok Kari," Ken replies as he picks his way through the trees. "You wouldn't be able to walk anyway. That knee looks sore. I apologise in advance if something hits it."

"That's ok," I reply reassuringly. "I don't care. You can't help these trees having branches. Don't feel bad if one happens to touch it." Ken smiles warmly. A sudden thought strikes my weary mind.

"Ken," I ask, "how did you know where I was? Or where I was going?"  Ken looks to me.

"Well," he began, turning to look ahead, "when I was little, my brother used to bring me here. We really liked it because it was so nice and peaceful here. It was only us and another young boy who knew of this place. I never met the other kid, but my brother said he was really nice, funny and playful. I kinda wish I met him." Ken sighs sadly. I gasp.  
_Oh my- his brother told him of this place? Then that means…_

"So how do you know of this place?" Ken asks, interrupting my thoughts.

"Well," I begin, a giggle hanging in my voice, "_my_ brother showed me this place when I was little. He also knew a boy not much older than him who knew of that place, but I never met him." Ken gasps.

"Then-then that means," he begins incredulously, "that _our_ brothers knew each other!" I smile.

"It's amazing, isn't it," I sigh, closing my eyes. "That of all the boys in Japan, it was _our_ brothers who found that place. Creepy." 

Ken smiles disbelievingly, "It's a small world."

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*ducks various objects thrown in my direction* ok already! It wasn't a very constructive chapter, but the next chapter's almost ready, and there's a lot more angst and dark thingies going on, so it'll be better. Let's just hope I finish it in time…*mallet's appear* OK OK!!! I'll finish it!!!


	35. Chapter 35 why

Disclaimer: me dunt own Digimon. me been telling you for long time.

Ooops!!! Sorry people ! ^^ I haven't been able to get on the internet this week, so this is why its taken me so long to update. ^^ Plz don't get mad at me!!!

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"Now where are Sora and Joe?"

I open my eyes, and find myself on the edge of the soccer field. Ken is looking around, while Wormon is hiding in the trees. Ken slowly turns around to look behind us.

"Now, where could they have got-"

"Ken! Kari!" a voice calls, interrupting Ken. Ken swivels around, and we find Sora and Joe sprinting towards us.

"Oh my God, Kari!" Sora exclaims as she reaches us. She lifts me out of Ken's arms, and stares at my knee.

"Oh Kari," she sighs sadly, turning to me. I move closer to her. "Thank God Ken found you, before…" She looks to Ken.

"Thank you for finding her Ken," she says warmly. Ken smiles.

"That's ok," he replies, Wormon climbing into his arms.

"Thanks Ken," I mumble, turning my head to face him.

"Your welcome Kari," Ken smiles warmly. _Ken's so nice to me; I guess he understands what I'm going through, even though I fully don't. I'm so confused…_

"Well, we'd better get back to the hospital," Joe states, stepping forward.

"Yeh," Sora sighs, following Joe. She turns to Ken, "Do you have to be anywhere, or do you want to come with us?" 

"I'll come," he replies. "I told my parents I'd be home soon, by dinner at the latest, so I'm fine." Sora smiles gratefully. We walk along the path silently, not having anything to say. I slip back into a reverie of my thoughts.

I wonder how T.K is? I really miss him… I really miss Tai… I miss Tai's cute cheeky smile, his energy, his caring love for me and everyone else…he does anything for me…he'd do anything for me. And now…what have I done to him? What have I done to him after all he's done for me? I've killed him. I've killed his outgoing spirit. I've destroyed his strong character. It's all my fault…But how? How did I let all this happen?

_"You were ignorant," the nasty voice answers. "You let T.K collapse and nearly die. You let Matt overdose on drugs. You stopped Tai from helping him. You were so wrapped up in your own little world that you didn't stop to think of other people."_

_That's not true! It's not! I didn't mean to fall sick! I can't help it!_

_"Yes you can. You're so selfish…you're supposed to be the Child of Light, and here you are, sending everyone into darkness. You're a burden on everyone. Look, Ken carried you all the way to the footpath, and Sora's carrying you to the hospital. You're a burden on their responsibility."_

_But I don't mean to! I didn't ask them to carry me! I would've walked, but they won't let me!_

_"If you're not a burden on their responsibility, you're a burden on their conscience. 'Oh we can't let poor, innocent Kari walk on her injured knee! She's been through sooo much…she won't be able to walk. I'd never be able to forgive myself if I let poor innocent Kari walk all by herself!' Don't you see? You're a burden on everyone. Imagine how much better the world would be without you. No more poor, innocent Kari to look out for. Poor Taichi put through all that pain when you fell sick when you were little. All the pain you caused the Digidestined when they finally found you, and you got yourself captured. All the pain you caused Tai when you fell ill in the Digital World. All the pain and tension you've caused with the new Digidestined. And now… you've finally destroyed your brother, scared all your friends out of their minds, and dragged them all down with you in your fall to darkness. And you're supposed to be the Child of Light? Hah."_

_I can't think of a response. It's all true… every single word. I've always been a burden on somebody at one time or another. _

_Why can't I ever get anything right? _

_I'm falling…my happy memories…slowly slipping away…the dark memories are surfacing…taking over…swallowing me…pulling me back into terrible times I wish I could forget… pain…suffering…Taichi… all my friends… icy breaths of wind circle me. I curl into a ball, desperately trying to keep warm. I hear voices in the winds. People calling my name…people screaming out for me…people crying… I cover my ears, wanting to block out the sound. The voices continue around me. But another sound enters the fray. I open my eyes, and find myself in a void. A black, endless platform. A person stands in front of me, a highly elaborate blade (is it a blade?) pointing towards my neck. The winds are now circling this weapon. The person's eyes glint._

_"Goodbye," the voice hisses. That voice…_

_The blade pierces my chest._

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Next chapter in two weeks, coz I have school 'retreat'!!! *massive groans* its gonna be sooo boring…-.-


	36. Chapter 36 run

Disclaimer: nomigiD nwo t'nod I 

Oks peoples!!! I'm ba-ack!

All: AAAAHHHHH!!!! *run away*

Me: O.o;; riiiiight… anywayy… I'm sorry I've taken an extra week to update, but I was stuck (more like chained up against the cold cell walls…) at 'retreat' *shudders*. Ugh… the most painful of experiences… no mobile phone reception… limited hot water… and more torture…*shudder* oh well… Shadow-of-Hearts and I are getting our revenge, aren't we? *evil grin* eheheheheee… =) anyway… I hope this five-page (*gasp* new record!) chapter will make up partly for the wait. ^^ I'm trying to make my chapters longer and more constructive!!!

ThAnX 4 eMaIlInG mE ShAdOw-Of-HeArTs!!! =)

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It's getting colder…colder… 

_The icy mists…_

_Falling…_

My eyes snap open. I clutch my chest as the pain subsides. My breathing is shallow as tears mingled with cold sweat stream down my face.

"Kari! What's wrong?!" Sora's face swims into view. I blink the tears out of my eyes, and sit up. The pain disappears from my chest, and I begin to shiver. I lean against Sora for warmth and close my eyes. Sora wraps her arms around me. _That dream…_ I cough weakly. I open my eyes, and find Ken peering intently at me.

"Are you ok Kari?" he asks. My breathing calms down, and I move away from Sora. I look around. We're no longer walking through the park. We're back in the hospital. A dull pain in my knee throbs methodically. I look down, and find a neat bandage covering the wound. _Was I really out that long? _

"W-where's Tai?" I ask, the thought springing into my head.

"He's still in the room, sleeping," Sora answers, brushing some of my damp fringe out of my eyes. "He'll be awake soon, and we can take him home." _Home…_

"Can…can we see him?" I ask, my voice trembling slightly.

"Yeh, sure," Sora answers warmly, helping me onto my feet. My injured knee trembles under the weight, but I slowly make it to Tai's room. Curtains separate the room into different areas. Sora pushes aside the curtain closest to us, and I hobble into the enclosed area. I stand next to Tai's bed, watching him sleep peacefully. A monitor beside me beeps rhythmically.

I turn to Sora, "Will he be ok?"

Sora pushes a chair behind me. "He'll be fine. Well, physically anyway. The doctor told us something…um…"

"He can't use his arm for seven days," Joe finishes, suddenly appearing from behind a curtain. "No school, no physical activity, no use whatsoever for at least three days, but the pain will take care of that. Minimal use for the rest of the period, then he'll have to see a doctor again." I shiver, turning to face Tai's peaceful face. _No physical activity…but the pain will take care of that… no… please not Taichi…_

"The doctor will then assess what's going to happen after that," Joe's voice comes again. 

But what am I going to do? I can't take care of him, as much as I so desperately want to. I'm breaking down at every turn, and I feel so fatigued… How am I supposed to give Tai the care he so well deserves and needs? I can't ask Sora or Joe to- not after what I've done to them. I've dragged them into it, all because of my ignorance and selfishness. But I can't leave Tai; I can't leave him to look after himself. His stubborn pride may push me away, but he really needs someone to look after him. And I can't. I can't bring myself to hurting him again. Not after all this… If I even attempt it, I'll stuff up and twist a knife further in his heart. I'm useless. A burden on everyone around me. The voice was right…

I begin to feel light-headed. Waves crashing on the shore… _The call of the ocean… _

"Kari! Snap out of it!" Sora's voice calls. But it sounds so far away…

"Kari…don't go…" 

My mind awakens. The ocean disappears. _That voice._

"Tai!" I exclaim, throwing my arms around him. "You're awake!"

"Don't leave me…Kari…" Tai weakly whispers, wrapping his uninjured arm around me. All my thoughts are banished. 

"I will never leave you Tai," I reply emotionally, wanting to believe every word. I unravel my arms from Tai.

"How's…Matt…" Tai asks breathily, lying back down. A cold rush runs through my body. I don't know. I turn to Sora. She shrugs.

"I…I don't know Tai…" I answer rather quietly. Tai sighs wearily. A surge of fear flares in my chest. _How is Matt? How is T.K? _I bite my bottom lip. A nurse walks in, and smiles at us merrily.

"Hello," she greets politely, picking up a chart at the end of the bed. I smile weakly. _Matt…T.K…Matt…T.K…Matt…T.K…_ The names repeat themselves in my head.

"Hello Mr. Kamiya," the nurse says to Tai, pressing a few buttons on a machine. "I'm just going to check your blood pressure." _Matt…T.K…_

_But I just saw T.K an hour or so ago. And he woke up! I shouldn't be this worried._

_'But he can die. You think he's gonna stay alive for you? Pfft. Not likely. Why would anyone try and escape death only to come back and deal with all your problems and put up with your shit?'_

_But… the doctor said he's gonna get better… and I love him! He can't die! I couldn't live without him! Not after all this! He can't die after all this! No!_

"Kari, do you want to go see Matt while the nurse checks on Tai?" Sora asks, interrupting my thoughts. I quickly wipe the tears out of my rather sore eyes. _Yes. Please._ I nod, standing up. _I'm only in the nurse's way here. I'm only in everyone's way here… _

"Back soon Tai," I whisper, squeezing Tai's hand. Sora places my arm across her shoulders and we walk out of the room back into the main reception area. Two people crying catches my attention. The doctor standing in front of them looks sombre. I turn away, hoping not to cry. _Death is still dancing among the cold corridors of this place…toying with his next victim. _

_The Lady of the Shadows will join him…_

I shudder, the last sentence replaying in my mind. _Where did that come from? Who said that?_

_The Lady of the Shadows will join him…_

I shake my head, trying to rid the sentence. I look ahead of me, focusing on the door which previously held Matt's name on it.

Not anymore.

We stop dead. It's someone else now.

"Isn't this where Matt was?" Sora wonders aloud. 

I nod. "Yeh, this was it."

"Musta moved," Ken stated, turning to the receptionist's desk. We follow.

"Excuse me," I ask, gaining the attention of the clerk, "but we're looking for an Ishida Yamato. He was in room four, but he's not anymore. Could you please tell us where he is?" The clerk yawns and types for about five seconds, before answering.

"He's been transferred to ICU," she answers, fatigue evident in her tone. I freeze.

In-intensive care? 

A wave of ice washes over me. _Intensive care?_ Everyone around me falls silent. My heart beats rapidly. _Intensive care? That means…he could die…he's seriously ill…he could…he could…_

"Thank you," Sora croaks, fear paralysing her. She tugs on my arm, and we walk away. We fall into seats near Taichi's room.

"Oh God," Sora breaths, trembling. "Intensive care! He could…he's gonna…" Sora buries her face in her hands.

"Shhh…" Joe comforts, wrapping an arm around her. I begin to shiver, fear now quickly overtaking my mind. _What if Matt doesn't make it? What will Tai do? What will happen to Matt's already struggling family? What will happen to all of us? What's gonna happen?_

Sora's stifled sobs enter my thoughts. _Why is everything happening now? Of all times? How many people are going to die? How are we gonna pull through this? I'm no use. I've tried, and failed miserably. Everyone I love is dying around me. _I freeze. _Oh no…please not my parents… I couldn't live without them…don't think about it…don't think about it… _

"Kari, do you want to go see T.K?" Ken's voice interrupts my thoughts. I turn to him, rather stunned at the question.

"Y-yes," I stutter, not realising what I'm saying. _Do I want to go see T.K, and most likely his parents, just after discovering his brother's in intensive care? Can I face them, and not break down crying? And on top of it, I can't tell them about Matt. Oh…_

Ken helps me to my feet, and helps me walk to the elevator. Sora doesn't notice us leave, but Joe nods in a 'I'll-tell-her-don't-worry' way. The elevator doors close. My stomach swirls unpleasantly as we climb higher and higher. Ken rubs my hand in a comforting way. _Should I be doing this? Leaving Tai, and Sora, and Joe, at this time? Oh, I'm so confused…_

The doors open, and we step out. The ward is quiet, and only a mild laughter rings out from the coffee room. Ken doesn't know where to go, so I lead. Ken shrinks involuntarily. _He must hate hospitals as much as Tai does…_ Ken keeps his eyes lowered as we pass other people, and arrive at T.K's door. A red ribbon is tied to the handle as a sign of good luck. _This family needs all the luck they can get at the moment. Both sons…dying in hospital…_ I push away the thought, and open the door. The smell of flowers wafts through the room, and out the door. It has been a mere hour and a half since I have last visited this room, yet more get-well presents have been added. Mrs. Takashi and Mr. Ishida are nowhere to be seen. Ken and I walk into the room, and Ken finally lifts his gaze. I limp over to T.K's bed, but Ken stays at the door. I pick up T.K's hand, and kiss it. It's warm. Hope flutters in my heart. _He's all right! The voice was wrong! _I kiss his forehead, and sit down. I cradle his hand between my hands. Tears silently trickle down my cheeks as I reflect on all the events that have occurred since that fateful drama lesson. _All the people who have been hurt…all those who have suffered…_

"I miss you so much T.K," I whisper, my throat choking back the cries that have been threatening to escape. I hear the doorhandle turn, and I whisk around to see Mrs. Takashi and Mr. Ishida enter the room. Ken pales slightly from the corner in which he stands. Mrs. Takashi smiles as she spots me.

"Oh, hello Kari," she greets warmly. "I didn't think you'd be here again so soon. But it's so nice of you to visit." She walks over to the window, and rests in the armchair there, sipping her cup of coffee. Mr. Ishida regains his solitary stance near the windowsill. _They both look so tired…so worn…_ The guilty feeling creeps into my throat. I'm dreading the one question.

"Kari," Mr. Ishida asks, turning to me, "do you know where Matt is? He still hasn't contacted me." 

And there it is.

A nastily cold feeling seeps into my skin. I turn to Ken, to find his face paler than the walls around him. But I remember what Tai said. I turn back to Mr. Ishida.

"He's at our place," I answer shakily, trying to inject as much honesty into my voice as possible. "He…he left his keys at our place, and…and decided to sleep over. I-I think he's still there." Ken stares at me incredulously, but I shoot him a warning glare, before turning back to Mr. Ishida, hoping he hasn't found out about Matt, or seen through my lie. But he merely shrugs.

"Ok," Mr. Ishida replies, "well at least I know where he is. He's so hard to keep track of… As long as he hasn't gone and got himself killed." Mrs. Takashi stops sipping her coffee, and turns to Mr. Ishida fearfully.

"Please don't joke about that," she asks breathily, her voice trembling with emotion. I swallow hard, desperately trying to restrain the cries that threaten to escape. I can't hold on any longer. I stand up.

"I'm sorry, I-I have t-to go," I say quickly, walking awkwardly to the door, opening it, and running down the corridor. My unhealed knee cries out in protest, but I ignore it. Tears blind my stinging eyes. I hear Ken chasing after me, but I can't stop. I can't. _I need to get away…_

_The Lady of the Shadows will join him…_

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Eep… loooong chapter!!! Oh well… next chapter will be up next Monday! In the meantime… *evil grin* who's gonna come help me disembowel the foul creatures who created the 'retreat'? I have war paint, camouflage, chocolate (Shadow-of-Hearts! ^^), EVERY weapon from the entire series of Grand Theft Auto, James Bond, Kingdom Hearts (luv that game^^), Super Smash Brothers Melee and Final Fantasy (the whole series!!!) BRING ON CLOUD'S SWORD!!! *evil grin*. RIGHT! WHO'S WITH ME?!?!?!?!


	37. Chapter 37 fever

Disclaimer: …*snore*… -.-zzzzzz…

Hey peoples!!! I'm _so_ sorry it's taken me so long to update this chapter. I ran out of Internet hours! *wails* it isn't fair!!! I've just been able to log on now, so plz forgive me!!!

WOOP WOOP WOOP!!! 100 REVIEWS!!! *cries* I'd never thought I'd reach 100 reviews! Thank you **SO** much to **EVERYONE** has read and reviewed my fic =). Thanx go to:

RockeandRoll (^^ I updated! Woop!), TogetherAgain, Kari Elizabeth, Taichi Kamiya, Kyomi Evana, Shadow-of-Hearts, DigitalDreamer, taichi tower, *kari*, flipstahhz, Luna, K.B Aleo, Fantashamon, Sakura Blossom, Sylver*star, Butterfly-fire, Crest of Randomness, reader, TheAngelofLove - Kuroi, Kara Kasai, Sweet-lil-angel, Takari's Baybee, EllaJ.W, KarenSedai - Kibou no Tenshi, KawaiiCookie, TK Lover 1997, Jess the Dragonkeeper, koushiros girl, kitty, hail the platypus, Sailor Jupiter Heart, Ridley, Mala Draca, Moonfairy2000 and ArchangelUK! 

Whew! I typed 'em all!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! =)

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_I'm running…_

_Running away from this personal hell…_

_I can't take it…_

_Let me go…_

_Let me go…_

_Never…_

I sit up, breathing heavily. The pain in my chest slowly disappears. Shadowy outlines of my surroundings slowly loom in on me as my breathing calms down. A thin strip of moonlight glows on my sheets. I shiver, my dream flashing though my mind once again- terrifyingly clear. The same dream. The same dream I had when Sora was carrying me to the hospital. The blade piercing my chest wakes me every time. The pain is so real… it scares me. And that voice…I've heard it before…but where? I can't remember. I don't want to remember. I hear it all the time. But I've heard it before…somewhere else…

The Lady of the Shadows will join him… 

Stop it! Stop it! Leave me alone! That voice keeps saying that! _What does it mean?_ I sigh wearily, and feel around for the cup of water on the coffee table. I've been at Sora's place for the past four days. I passed out on Sunday morning, the day after Tai returned home, from a dangerously high fever. Tai was constantly sleeping, and our parents weren't going to be home for another six days, so Sora took us in. I just woke up later that day, and found myself in Sora's living room, with about three ice packs on my forehead. Since then I've been bedridden, unable to do anything but sleep and occasionally try to talk to Gatomon or Tai. Tai hasn't been talking much, and spends most of the day in front of the television. I sip my water thoughtfully. _I guess he's bitter because he couldn't look after me. And his arm must be so painful. On top of that, he hasn't been to see Matt. He hasn't been able to see any of his friends, minus Sora, or play soccer. I feel so sorry for him._ But Gatomon has been great. She's been there whenever I wake up, and ready to help me. I'm so grateful for everything she's done for me. Everything she's gone through. I look to the snoozing cat on the other side of the bed. I put down my glass, and lie back down on the sofa bed. But it's too hot. I sit up again, and look through the gap in the curtains. _It's a cool night, why not go outside? _I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, and slowly stand up. My head swims with the sudden change of position, and my legs shake from not being used for so long. I grab the edge of the sofa, and my head slowly ceases to spin. I slowly, and shakily, make my way over to the door, and push the curtains out of the way. The moonlight streams into the apartment as I fumble with the sliding door to the balcony. I barely notice the silhouette of a figure leaning on the barrier. I open the door, and let the cool breeze run through my hair and cool my face. I close my eyes and inhale deeply. It's refreshing to smell the outside world again. I open my eyes, and notice a certain brown-haired someone enjoying the evening. I walk up to him.

"Hello Tai," I say quietly, my voice breathy from a sore throat. Taichi turns to me, startled.

"Kari!" he says, worry evident in his tone, "What're you doing out here? You're sick! You should be inside!" I smile weakly.

"I wanted to see what the outside world is like, Tai," I reply calmingly, staring out into the city. "It's been so long since I've been outside, for any reason. Besides, it's too hot in there. It's nice and cool outside. Don't worry," I add, noting the look on Tai's face, "I'll be fine. I've got you. Thank you for always looking out for me." I lean against his shoulder in a loving way. "Thank you." 

"For what?" Taichi responds despondently, the tone in his voice startling me. "I'm no use. I can't even look after you. I've always let you get into trouble, and never been there to protect you. Please don't thank me, because I've done nothing." Tai turns away, self-disappointment evident on his face. "I've always let you down. I've always let everyone down. I let you down… I let Matt down…I'm letting everyone down. So please don't thank me, because I'm not worth it." A stunned silence hangs in the air. I can't believe it…_Tai thinks he's worthless? That he's letting me down? That he's let everyone down?_

"Taichi!" I exclaim, aghast, "Nothing could be further from the truth!"

"No Kari," Tai states, his voice cracking slightly, "it's true. I've always let you down, and I'm scared I'll continue to." Tai turns around and slides down the balcony wall. "I'm so scared I'll continue to hurt you. I'm so scared I'll continue to hurt everyone else. I keep letting you and everyone down…" Tai buries his face in his knees. "I'm no use." His voice is so depressing… _He can't seriously believe it…can he? _I stand here, saddened that my brother thinks this way- that he's useless…that he let's everyone down. I kneel down next to him, and place a comforting hand on his shoulder. Tai flinches at the contact.

"Tai," I begin, "you know yours-"

"No Kari!" Tai interrupts, his voice becoming harsher. He pulls away from my touch. "I am worthless! I just cause people more pain! I keep letting everyone down! I do! I made you sick when you were little, I made Agumon dark-digivolve into Skullgreymon and nearly kill everyone, I let you collapse in the Digital World, and they're only a few of the incidents where I've screwed up! And now I've nearly killed Matt, nearly killed you and it's all my fault!" Taichi tightens his hold on his legs; tears streaming freely down his cheeks. I sit there. I have no reply. Nothing to say. 

_What do I say to this? Matt'd punch Tai outta this mood, and that seems to work… but I can't! I can't punch Tai. Taichi's breaking down on me and I have nothing to say.  
See? Now your brother is breaking down, and you don't even know what to say. Some Child of Light you are._

_I don't need you at the moment. Can't you see I'm busy?_

_Oh, sorry li'l miss shining-light. I'll go. But don't forget, Lady of Shadow…  
Just go away!_

"Tai," I begin again, injecting more confidence into my (unfortunately) raspy voice, "Without you, how would we have defeated all the Dark Masters, VenomMyotismon, or, as a matter of fact, any of the other evil Digimon who have threatened to kill us all? How would even us, the new lot, been able to defeat anything without your guidance." I gently place my hand beneath his chin, and lift his head. "Tai, none of us would be here today if it wasn't for you." Taichi glares at me, trying to look unconvinced, but I can see the confusion. "Tai, you've helped me get through this hard time more than anyone else. If you weren't there to comfort me or help me, then I probably would be jumping off this balcony right now. Tai, ask anyone, and they will say that without you, there is no us. There is no Digiworld. There is no me." Tai buries his face in his knees. "None of this is your fault- it's mine." I hang my head. Taichi's head shoots up. "It's all my fault Tai, so don't blame yourself." Tears trickle down my cold cheeks. I stare at my hands, hoping Tai will feel better. _Please stop this game of self-hate Tai…I…no we… really need you Taichi. We all do…_

"Kari…" Taichi whispers. I feel his gentle eyes stare at me sadly.

"Please stop blaming yourself Taichi," I continue, tears falling onto my hands, "because none of this is your fault. It's all my fault. I let T.K collapse and fall sick. I got in the way of you helping Matt. So please, if you want to blame anyone, blame me." I close my eyes, the tears coming faster.

"Oh, Kari no…" Tai breathes, wrapping his arms around me. I turn and press my face into his t-shirt. My tears drench his top. Tai gently rubs my back.

"I'm s-sorry for all th-this Tai," I sob, clutching his shirt.

"No Kari," Tai responds, pulling away and lifting my head. I melt under his gently brown eyes. "None of this is your fault. Don't blame yourself." I wipe my tears on my sleeve, before I turn to Tai and glare at him. A look of confusion washes over his face.

"As long as you stop blaming yourself," I bargain. 

Taichi grins. "It's a deal!" My heart warms. He winks, and ruffles my hair. 

"Hey!" I scrunch up my face as hair flicks into my eyes. Tai's hand reaches my forehead, and he stops.

"Ooh, fever," he mumbles, rather seriously. "C'mon Kamiya, we'd better get you to bed." I open my eyes, and give him the puppy eyes.

"Awww…" I mumble, mocking disappointment. "No fair!" Taichi smiles as he picks me up and starts to carry me inside. But I suddenly remember his arm, and I push myself of Tai.

"Tai, you can't carry me, remember?" I remind, looking at him seriously, worry reappearing in my mind. "You can't use your arm for another three days." Tai rolls his eyes.

"I was carrying you with my good arm!" Tai defends, raising his left arm. I glare at him. Tai falters.

"I can walk by myself," I state, turning around and stepping forward. But my legs tremble visibly, and I hear Tai snort.

"C'mon Kamiya," he says, walking beside me and placing his left arm around my shoulders, "let's get you to bed." I smile, and lean against his collarbone. Tai walks through the door, and I close it behind him. I begin to feel weary as I sit down on the sofa bed. Tai pulls the sheets away as I lie down. I look to Tai as he pulls the sheets up to my neck.

"G'night Tai," I mumble wearily, sleep coming quickly. Tai smiles.

"G'night Kari," he whispers, kissing my warm forehead.

"Don't ever leave me Tai," I mumble, beginning to fall asleep.

"I'll never leave you," Tai responds. My eyes close.

"Promise?"

Tai pokes my forehead. "Promise." I giggle. I hear him get up and leave. 

"Sleep well Kamiya," he whispers. I smile.

"Thank you."

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Awww… mushy chapter! ^^

Dun worry, better chapter to come! The next one is about…ooh… 5 pages? And I still haven't finished it… ^^;;; oh well… it _should_ be up next week on Monday coz I'm on holidays for the next 2 weeks (Woop! No school! ^^ =D), so I really have no excuse for not updating on time for the next three weeks. I'm _really_ soz this chapter took so damn long to be put up, coz like I explained, I ran out of Internet hours! *sobs* Twenty hours a month isn't enough!!! But do not fear! I will not leave you in the dark! ^^ Aren't I kind?

RockeandRoll: *snort*

Me: *smacks over head w/ large cardboard (more painful! *evil grin*) anime fan* shaddup!

RockeandRoll: *big bandaid on her head* ouch! x_x;;;;

Anyway ^^;… BIG MASSIVE THANX TO ALL WHO JOINED MY NOBLE QUEST TO KILL THE EVIL –THINGS- WHO CREATED RETREAT!!! WE RULE!!!

All: -.-;;;

Me: anyway… please review!!! 

cyaz! =)


	38. Chapter 38 reunions

Disclaimer: …*playing Metroid: Prime*…hmm?? Oh yeh…don't own it…

*still playing Metroid: Prime* DAMN YOU SPACE PIRATES!!! *vein throbbing in temple* ahem…*turns away from addictive and damn good game* im so sorry I haven't updated in ages!!! I had to go back to school *wails* and im also sorry coz I know I said last chapter this chapter was five pages and counting…but I deleted that one coz I thought it was crap so this one is shorter, but I think the next chapter is up…^^

oh, btw, a big thanx to (blank) and Blackout12 for reviewing!!!^^

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Drip… 

_The water… falling…_

_Falls…_

_…_

_…_

_Drowns…_

I mumble softly as my mind begins to wake. The sunlight from the partially open curtains dances across my body and face. I feel the warmth of the gentle sunlight. But it's too warm. Come to think of it, it's too hot. A moan escapes me as I move around, trying to find a cooler spot in the sheets. Something cold suddenly comes into contact with my forehead, and I cease moving around.

"Shhh…" a voice soothes, "It's ok Kari. You're just running another fever. It'll be ok." A single drop of water trickles down past my temple, and onto the pillow. I slowly open my eyes, and a blurry outline of Tai comes into view. He smiles.

"Hey Kari," he greets warmly, "how are you feeling?"

"Mhmm…" I mumble, blinking slowly, "a little tired, and hot."

"Yeh, you're fever went up over night, but it'll break soon," Taichi informs, a slight tone of fatigue in his voice. My vision clears, and I finally get to see Tai properly. _Damn he looks tired._

"Are you ok Tai?" I ask, my speech slurring slightly. Taichi smiles reassuringly.

"Yeh, I'm fine," he answers, as Gatomon pounces onto his lap.

"Hi Kari," Gatomon greets, slowly walking over to me. I smile in return, too weary to do anything else. 

"Hey Kari, you hungry?" Tai asks, pulling up a bowl of rice and stir-fry. I shake my head, a second later regretting it as a headache sets in. Tai shrugs, grabs the chopsticks and attempts to eat it. It's almost funny watching Tai trying to eat the rice with his left hand, when he's right-handed. But, multi-talented Tai soon gets used to it, and he's wolfing down the food like there's no tomorrow. I laugh weakly. But, yet again, another action I regret. I begin to cough; the cold compress falling off my forehead and letting my fever intensify my headache. I moan in agony as my throat burns. I feel the refreshing chill of the wet towel on my forehead as my cough passes and my breathing calms down. My throat burns painfully as I breathe. _I need a drink_.

"Kari, do you wanna drink?" Tai's voice comes. _Right on cue._ I attempt to nod, but my movements are restricted by my headache. _More like a migraine…_ I wearily open my eyes, and find Tai peering at me, holding a glass of water. I try to sit up, but can't even lift my head off the pillow. _Damn I feel weak…_ Tai gently puts his arm behind my shoulders and lifts me into a sitting position. He hands me the glass.

"Don't worry Kamiya," Taichi smiles reassuringly, "You'll be fine. Got your medicine, so you'll be up and about in no time!" I gratefully swallow the heavenly liquid, all the time thoughts racing through my aching mind. One destructive thought strikes me. 

"What's the day today?" I ask, a tingling sensation swirling around my stomach.

"Hmm?" Tai starts, coming out of a reverie of thoughts, "Oh…um…Friday, I think. Yeh, Friday." _Oh no…_

"That means," I begin, slight panic etching its way in, "that mum and dad are due home tomorrow!"

"Oh yeh," Tai replies thoughtfully, looking to the ceiling.

"Tai!" I cry hoarsely, my throat painful. "What're we gonna do? They don't know _anything_ about what's happened since they've been away. And there's a hundred messages on our answering machine, about ten from the schools asking about where we are, and from Mr. Ishida, and from everyone else! What're they gonna say when they hear all of them? And then there's you," Tai's gaze drops sadly "and me, and the fact we haven't been home this week. What're we gonna do?" Panic has definitely taken over me. Tai's gaze lifts, and he…shrugs?

"Oh well Kari," he mumbles, "we'll deal with that later. Right now, you need to get changed, 'cause Sora and co. are due home in five minutes." My eyes widen.

"Sora and co.?" I ask, confused. "Who's 'co.'?" Tai looks at me quizzically.

"Davis, Yolei, Cody, Ken and all their Digimon," he answers, surprised I didn't know. 

"Oh…" I exhale, shifting around in Tai's arms. I swallow the rest of the water.

"Well, c'mon," Tai says, beginning to drag me out of the bed, "better get dressed before they arrive!"

"Hey!" I exclaim, trying to get out of Tai's iron grip. "Lemme go!" Tai drags me to the end of the bed, and helps me to my feet.

"Your clothes are in Sora's room," Tai explains, taking my glass and heading to the kitchen, "so go get changed, and I'll be here with Gatomon." I turn to the cat, and smile.

"'Kays," I reply, walking shakily over to Sora's room. I hold the wall for support, the smooth paint chilling my heated fingers.

It's good to be awake again. And my friends'll be coming over. It'll be great to see them all again, and Gatomon'll see all her friends. I bet she's missed them. It's all my fault she hasn't been able to return home or see any of her friends. I'm sorry Gatomon… I'm sorry everyone…

I push open the door to Sora's room, and quietly enter. A pastel-blue sky greets me as I walk towards the window. A small bag of my things sits on the windowsill. I drop on the chair next to the window and pull out some clothes- my favourite pink and white top and black dancer pants. I finger the embroidery on the back of the pants, memories of cheerleader practise on cold days surfacing in my mind. I let out a small laugh as I remember Miya slipping and falling on her bum one time. She couldn't stop laughing because the head cheerleader, Phoebe, was imitating one of the crabby old teachers in our school, and Miya slipped on her jumper she'd dropped on the floor. The whole group was in fits. I slowly pull on the pants, trying not to put too much contact on my bandaged knee. Any pressure hurt. I pull on the top, and add clips to my hair. I make my way to the door, and stop near the mirror to check on how I look. My cheeks are slightly flushed, and I'm quite pale, and, come to think of it, I've lost weight. I'm skinnier, anyway. _Oh well, that's what happens when you don't eat for two weeks. _I push open the door, and walk straight into Tai.

"Hello Kari," Tai greets warmly, holding out a cup of steaming hot chocolate. "Thought you'd like a cup of something hot." I take the cutely decorated cup into my shaking hands.

"Thanks Tai," I say, truly grateful. 

He smiles. "Anytime." My legs begin to ache from being stood on for so long, and we move over towards the kitchen. But before we make it, the front door bursts open, and Sora, Davis, Ken, Yolei, Cody and all their Digimon burst in.

"Hey guys!" Sora exclaims, her cheeks red from running. "How are ya?" Tai grins in his adorable way, and I smile.

"Good thank you," I answer. A pink 'balloon' catches my eye.

"Here ya go Tai!" Davis exclaims, picking up the pink 'balloon', "A little present for ya!" The pink 'balloon' turns out to be-

"Koromon!" Tai exclaims, setting down his cup of coffee and catching the bounding creature.

"Tai!" Koromon cries, bouncing up and down in Tai's arms. "It's so good to see you!"

"Same here!" Tai grins, watching the small Digimon jump around in glee. Everyone begins to laugh. Tai's face lights up as he laughs and follows Koromon's movements. I smile warmly. Koromon finally comes to rest in Tai's enormous hair. 

"Hey, how are ya Kari?" Yolei asks, slipping over next to me.

"I'm getting better," I answer, smiling warmly. 

"That's good news," Cody says, walking over to us. I smile down at the underestimated 'boy'. I honestly don't know where to classify him- is he a boy? He holds the wisdom of an old man, but he's still so young…

"C'mon guys, let's go sit down." Sora's voice interrupts my thoughts. We walk over to the sofa bed, pull a blanket over it, and sit ourselves down. The conversation begins…

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Next chapter is either up now or up very soon!!! =)


	39. Chapter 39 say what

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, apart from my tapes of Digimon! *holds up four tapes*

Nasty lawyers: Oi! They're not official! You have…(blah blah boring law talk -.-;;;;;)

Me: pfft. Later! ^^ *runs off*

Nasty lawyers: Oi!!!

Yay! I updated! And I didn't wait 'til Monday to do it! ^^ go me!!!

All: -.-;;; yay… *unenthusiastically* (ß oooh! Long word @.@)

Me: well… A MASSIVE THANX goes to Shadow-of-Hearts (party!^^), RockeandRoll (need a bandaid?), saturndragon (thank you so much for your wonderful review =)) and Sara (Koromon is the pink balloon which transforms into Agumon ^^)! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! ^^

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"I can't believe they thought we were _dead!_"

"Yeh, those rumours were _weird_."

"But, whaddaya expect?"

I trace my finger along the rim of my cup. Tai does the same.

"I guess you have a point…" Tai mumbles, lifting up his cup. I look at the clock on the wall. 5:37pm. All the others went home five minutes ago. It's just me, Tai and Sora. Well, until her mother comes home at six. Oh, and Koromon and Gatomon. But they're off on the balcony, reminiscing. I sigh heavily. That 'meeting', or whatever you wanna call it, really tore all the energy out of me. And what everyone had to say!

"Rumours have been saying that you died Kari!"

"I heard from Lin, who has a sister in Tai's school, that people have been saying that Tai killed himself after Matt died."

"Everyone's saying that Matt's dead."

"Yeh, I heard that one…"

Tai and I sat, open-mouthed at these sudden revelations about what's happening at school. We were speechless. 

"But everyone hopes you get better Kari!"

And then there were the messages. Cards, flowers, chocolates, origami… there was a whole bag full for both Tai and me.

"Our year level hopes you get better soon Tai!"

The conversation was deadly interesting, and even if I was exhausted, I couldn't leave. It was good to hear what was happening. But soon, they had to leave. We said goodbye, then Sora, Tai and I cleaned up, dumped all the presents on the table, and grabbed hot drinks. Tai has developed an addiction to coffee. The only thing I've seen him drinking this week is coffee. And now here we are, looking over what's happened, and all the news we've received.

"Not showing up to school for two weeks does give reason for rumours, and the fact that rumours of Matt, full stop, have been circulating for a while- it all adds up." Sora explains further, playing with the edge of the coaster.

"Yeh, yeh," Tai mumbles in reply. "And it looks like neither me or Matt are gonna show up to school for a while…" Tai glances at his right arm, which is covered by his blue skivvy. A sad silence hangs in the air. The silence is broken, however, by the phone ringing. Sora wordlessly stands up and answers it.

"Hello?"

"Tai," I begin, not wanting this silence between us to continue, "don't worry about that. We'll go see Matt tonight if you want to." Taichi's head shoots up, his eyes suddenly alive. 

"What? Are you sure?" he asks, a worried expression slowly appearing on his face. "But what about you? I don't want to leave you home, and I don't think you're up to walking around that building…you're still sick."

"It doesn't matter," I reply, waving away his concern. "I'll be fine. I'm better already. I've been asleep long enough. My fever's gone, and I can walk better now, so it'll be fine." Tai stares at me sceptically.

"Hey Tai," Sora calls, hanging up the phone and walking over to us, "that was the doctor, and you have an appointment tomorrow at Dr. Suzuki's surgery at three o'clock." Sora drops into the chair opposite me. Tai nods, and drops his gaze back into his almost empty cup. 

"Hey Sora," I begin, deciding to explain our plan of sorts, "we're gonna go see Matt tonight, and we're wondering if you wanna come." Sora chokes slightly on her drink and stares at me.

"Are-are you sure?" she asks, giving me the sceptical stare I copped from Tai only minutes ago. Tai is now listening intently.

"Yeh," I answer quietly, fixing my hair behind my ears. "We're going after dinner, so if you wanna come, you can."

"Yeh-yeh sure," Sora stutters, looking to Tai, who is drinking the rest of his coffee. "I'll-I'll call Joe and see if he wants to come." She rises off her chair and over to the telephone.

Good… Tai will finally be free… 

_"Will he, Lady?"_

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oooh…nasty voice gonna spoil all da fun? Next chapter might be up on Monday, but I'm not sure coz I haven't done it yet…^^;; cyaz!!! =)

oh, btw, shadow-of-hearts, im so sorry I haven't emailed you, but my account's not working, so as soon as it does, I'll email you ^^


	40. Chapter 40 dark joy

Disclaimer: I wonder…if I don't put a disclaimer…will I get sued?

Evil Japanese lawyers: *nod nod*

Me: bugger…oh well, I don't own Digimon, and I don't own Sony, but I LOVE both of 'em!!! ^^

Ooooks… i KNOW it's been AGES since i've updated, but I have been **_FLAT OUT _**this week and im not kidding. Extra orchestra rehearsals and drama performances has limited my already low amount of sleep and i haven't had _any_ time to do this, or anything else! So much damn overdue homework…*growl* GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN!!! please forgive me!!! *bows repeatedly* i hope this partially makes up for the long amount of time it took to be put up!

Warnings: oks, some of you might of noticed ive notched up the rating to PG-13. well, i did this due to language in this chapter, and i just wanna be safe. The -f- bomb is dropped in this chapter, and probably will be in the next chapter. And a few other nasties…^^;

Tai: *reads chapter* O.o;;;

Matt: *reads chapter* ooh taichi, didn't know you could say that…

Tai: neither did i…

Me: I apologise in advance if I offend anyone.

A HUGE THANX GOES TO: Cleo, Rocke and Roll, Shadow-Of-Hearts and Kari Elizabeth for reviewing and for the really nice reviews too ^^ thanx!! Also to Akira5867, thank you SO MUCH for the beautiful review. ^^ thanx!!! =)

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"Room 105, ward 17."

"Thank you."

A massive weight lifts off my shoulders. My heart feels lighter than it has been in a week. Good news… _finally_ some good news!

"It's so good he's out of intensive care," Sora sighs, smiling, as she pushes the button for the elevator. I silently agree. It's also so good to see Tai…well…relieved? Happy? I don't know how to phrase it. He looks…almost…_alive_ again. It's not that he's looked like death warmed up all week, but it's been like he's been missing something, and it was obviously Matt, and the fact he couldn't see him.

Guilt guilt guilt guilt…all my fault again…calm down Kari…guilt… 

I step into the elevator, and push the button for Matt's level.

"It's a pity Joe couldn't come," Sora says, looking towards the ceiling. Tai continues to fiddle with Matt's discman, which Matt had lent to him, and Tai decided to bring. He runs his finger over the black headband, more precisely over the 'Sony' silver plating. A small noise plays, and the doors open to our level. _Well, that didn't take long…_ We step out into the ward. I shrink back as the stark white walls glare menacingly at me. This place is so full of bad memories. I move closer to Tai, who almost subconsciously holds my hand. A small memory begins to play itself in my mind. The buzzing of a machine doesn't help it either, and it gets louder…louder…

We're losing her… 

_More adrenaline…_

_C'mon…breathe…_

_Kari!_

"Kari!"

I blink, falling back down to earth. I shake the remnants of the memory away.

"Sorry," I mumble, feeling embarrassed. I look around, and my eyes land on the door we're standing before.

Yamato Ishida's room.

I watch Tai's resolved hand reach out and turn the doorknob. He opens the door, and a strong smell of flowers washes onto us. The whole room is full of flowers, teddy bears, cards and other various 'get well' presents and wishes. And among all this, on a single white bed, lay Yamato Ishida. His dull blue eyes flicker over to us.

"Matt!" Tai exclaims, jogging over to his bed.

"Tai!" Matt cries, his eyes instantly coming alive. Tai reaches Matt's bed, and Matt jumps up and throws his arms around Tai, shivering visibly. Sora and I walk over to them.

"Tai…I'm so sorry Tai…" Matt mumbles, tightly gripping the back of Taichi's shirt. "I'm so sorry…Taichi I'm so sorry…" Matt buries his face into Tai's shoulder. 

"Shhh…it's ok, don't worry," Taichi soothes, gently rubbing his back. I hear a sniffle coming from my right, and I turn to find Sora silently crying. Tai turns around too, and smiles.

"Sora wants to say hi Matt," Tai says, loosening Matt's death grip off his shirt. Matt turns his red-rimmed eyes to the crying Sora. Sora jumps forward and embraces Matt in a deep hug, crying into his limp blonde hair.

"Oh Matt…" she sobs, unable to hold back her tears. Matt wraps his bony arms around her.

"Takenouchi…" he mumbles, tears slipping onto her jumper. The atmosphere couldn't have been warmer. It's almost 'tear-worthy' to see them like this. And it is. I feel warm, salty tears slip down my cheek, stinging my weary eyes. Just seeing Tai and Sora so happy and seeing Matt alive after all those nightmares…it's too hard to describe. And now T.K's getting better…it's all finally working out.

It's all finally working out! 

Sora pulls away from Matt, and plants a light kiss on his cheek.

"It's so good to see you again," she whispers hoarsely, choking on more tears. Matt drops his gaze.

"I'm so sorry…" he mumbles, sitting on his knees. "I'm so sorry…"

"Don't worry," Tai says, honesty and concern woven into his words. "Just forget it, ok? Blaming yourself won't help you recover." Matt doesn't respond.

"Well, I brought you something," Tai says, offering him the discman and the minidiscs. Matt stares at them, before taking them out of Taichi's hands.

"Th-thank you," he mumbles, his dull gaze meeting Tai's. Tai smiles.

"Don't mention it," Tai dismisses, pulling up the only two chairs. "I had to give it back someday anyway." Matt pushes his un-gelled hair out of his face. It's so weird to see him without gel. It frames his face so perfectly it looks like he's come straight off a hairdressing commercial.

But it's so good to see him again.

_"Well, don't we feel good."_

_Hmm? What do you want now?_

_"Well, I have a question. Why do you always fall sick at the most inappropriate times?"_

_I can't help it!_

_"Well, look now."_

I look down to my legs. They're trembling, unable to stand any longer. But before I fall to the ground, Tai catches me and carries me over to the chair. He sits down, and I sit in his lap. Sora occupies the other chair.

"I'm sorry Tai," I murmur, leaning against his chest wearily.

"It's ok," Tai replies, shifting around into a more comfortable position, "You're sick, so you have an excuse. Just rest, if you want. We'll go to see T.K soon."

"Thanks Tai," I mutter, before I fall asleep.

I walk along the dusty corridors of the deserted castle. The ancient paintings in the walls are covered with cobwebs, and a thick layer of dust. I run my finger along the wall. Carvings in Digicode appear at my touch.

_"Good evening lady," a voice comes, startling me. I turn around, and find the cloaked swordsman._

_"Wh-what do you want?" I ask, fear coursing through me. The cloaked figure stares deep into my eyes._

_"Why, I am but a messenger," he mockingly answers, smiling deviously. "I do not want anything from you. I represent my master, who is the one you seek. His name you know, so I will not answer. As for mine, I am Dakedo." He bows low._

_"But, Dakedo, who is your 'master'?" I ask, truly confused. A cold draft passes through the hallway, whisking back Dakedo's hood and exposing his face. I gasp. Jet-black hair streaked silver hangs down to just above his shoulders; dark, cold eyes glistened in the dim torchlight; his skin shines with an unearthly glow, and is paler than I thought possible. He smiles menacingly._

_"It is time, lady," he whispers, walking towards me. "To meet my master…" I cannot move. "Your master…" Fear overruns me as he reaches out a hand to touch my cheek. But he pulls away his hand the instant it touches my skin. Pain contorts his face._

_"You are protected," he whispers, the venom in his voice sending chills through me. "You are held in the arms of one you love." I tremble, wrapping my arms around myself in a desperate attempt to keep warm. Dakedo smiles, before pulling off his cloak and wrapping it around my shoulders._

_"You must be cold," he whispers in my ear. Ice wraps around my body._

_Falling into the cold…_

"C'mon Kari, time to go."

I blink once, twice, and close my eyes again. _Lights too bright…_

_But hey, better than darkness…_

I open my eyes again. I sit upright and face Matt. I rub the weariness out of my eyes before wrapping my arms around him in a compassionate hug.

"Get well soon Matt," I say, kissing him lightly on the cheek as I pull away.

"Thanks Kari," Matt responds, "you too."

"See ya Ishida," Tai grins, doing his 'secret little handshake' with Matt.

"See ya 'round Kamiya," Matt replies, "and, please don't tell my dad, or mum for that matter, that I'm in here. Please…"

"Don't worry," Tai interrupts, looking at him seriously, "I'll cover for you. It's cool." Sora hugs Matt before we all leave. I watch the tortured child crawl under the covers as I close the door.

"He's ok Tai!" Sora cries almost immediately, throwing her arms around Tai blissfully. "He's gonna be ok!" Tai wraps his arms around her in equal happiness. I push the button for the elevator as I watch the two almost dance. I haven't seen them so happy since Tai won his soccer match three weeks ago. Won? More like whipped the other team into a senseless pulp. They were no match for Tai. The elevator doors open and we walk in. I smile as I remember the whole lot of the Digidestined watching that epic match. Matt was there too. Healthy, bright, cool Matt. Absolute chick-magnet in his baggy jeans and his tight-fitting, blue button-up shirt. I laugh, remembering how Jun was literally drooling and couldn't take her eyes off him. Matt purposely avoided her the whole day. I still have trouble figuring out how he did…

A small noise pulls me back into reality and we exit the elevator onto T.K's floor. I ignore the surfacing nightmares and let myself be drawn into Tai and Sora's joy. They were both content. They were both…_free_. Free from the prison they were held in. I knock lightly on T.K's door, and slowly push it open. Mrs. Takashi was reading a card attached to a small bunch of flowers, chuckling quietly.

"Awww…this one's cute," she laughs quietly, looking to T.K. He smiles.

He…he smiles?! 

"T.K!" I cry, running to his side. His head slowly turns to me.

"Hi Kari," he greets, wheezing on every breath. I throw my arms around him, hugging him closely.

"Oh T.K…" I whisper, nuzzling closer into his neck, basking in his presence.

"Hello you three," Mrs. Takashi greets, her voice lighter than I've heard it since T.K's admission here. A guilty squirm wriggles in the pit of my stomach, namely Matt.

"Hello," we chorus together. I untangle my arms from around T.K and sit upright.

"How are you?" I ask, taking his hand.

He smiles. "I'm awake, for once." I smile, tears welling in my already stinging eyes. His troubled breathing eats away at my happiness, but I try and ignore it. He's awake, and that's good. Real good.

"How are…you?" he asks, coughing weakly. I smile reassuringly.

"I'm fine," I answer, skirting around the truth. I hear the door open, and turn to find myself facing…Mr. Ishida. The guilty feeling dances around, making my stomach restless. He looks tired and stressed to the point of exhaustion. Looks more stressed and twitchy actually.

"Hello Mr. Ishida," Sora greets politely. He lifts his head at the sound of her voice. His eyes seem to narrow.

"Do you know how Matt is?" he asks, running his hand through his hair. I bite my bottom lip.

"He's fine," Tai answers. "Oh yeh, and he said he'll give you a call soon. He's just been busy." It amazes me how Tai can tap dance around this situation without lying too much. Mr. Ishida slightly raises an eyebrow.

"Do you know where he is?" he asks.

"Yeh, he's at my place," Tai answers, his first real lie. A vein throbs in Mr. Ishida's temple, causing my eyes to widen in fear.

He doesn't know…does he? 

"Don't lie to me," he hisses venomously, standing in front of Tai, inches away from his face, glaring. "You knew all along Matt was in hospital!" I gasp. He _did_ know! I hear Mrs. Takashi gasp.

"W-what?" she stammers, confused.

"That's right honey," he spits, glancing at her, before turning back to Tai, "our _perfect_ little boy was in intensive care for three days due to a _drug overdose_." His voice rises at the end of the sentence, that vein throbbing dangerously. "And these three knew _all along!_" he snarls, fiercely staring into Tai's hardened brown eyes.

"Oh my…" Mrs. Takashi breathes, covering her mouth with her hands, silent tears making their path down her face. "No…not Matt…not my Yamato…"

"Matt's…here?" T.K asks, struggling to finish the sentence. I nod slowly, tears now spilling.

"How _dare_ you not tell us!" Mr. Ishida yells, straight into Tai's face, grabbing the front of his shirt. "How _dare_ you not tell me that Matt's embezzled himself with drugs and nearly killed himself! Who the hell gave _you_ the authority?"

"Matt did!" Tai yells in response, anger flaring, pulling his shirt out of Mr. Ishida's grip. "I did! I used my common sense! Why should I tell you Matt's in hospital because of overdosing when I knew you'd turn into the bastard you are now and make things worse! And you wonder _why_ Matt's never home! You wonder _why_ he's always off at rave parties! Look in a fucking mirror you hypocritical asshole before you come and dump the blame on us!" 

I sit here, shocked, unable to move. I have never before in my life seen Tai so angry, so passionate. Never. On the other hand, I have never seen anyone so angry as Mr. Ishida. I knew that he had a habit of flying off the handle at the smallest things, but this…Tai's last speech had set him off. All the stress, lack of sleep, and arguments had pushed the already tested man too far. 

_"How dare you!"_ he screams, raising his right hand to slap Tai. But Tai dodges out of the way, avoiding contact.

_"Stop it! Stop it now!"_ Mrs. Takashi cries, tears streaming down her cheeks. Sora grabs Tai and drags him away from Mr. Ishida's rage. Taichi doesn't resist, but simply glares maliciously at Mr. Ishida. Struggled breathing reaches my ears and I turn to find T.K gasping for breath.

"Oh no! T.K!" I exclaim, panic flaring up quickly. Mrs. Takashi repeatedly pushes the button to summon a nurse while I try to calm him down. 

"C'mon T.K, calm down," I soothe, my voice quavering. T.K grasps my hand. A nurse hurries in the door and grabs an oxygen mask. I quickly let go of his hand as the nurse stands near me and move near Tai and Sora. Mr. Ishida turns to us, rage still evident in his demeanour.

"I hope your fucking happy," he spits, pure venom in every syllable. Tai jolts forward but Sora holds him back. I quaver in fear.

"He's not worth it," she whispers fiercely in his ear. Tai growls, but turns away and out the door. I continue to stand here, frozen in fear and shock. The erratic beeping of a machine echoes in my head.

Oh no…T.K c'mon…please… We're losing her… 

_She's not responding…_

_C'mon…breathe…_

"Kari, c'mon," Sora urges, steering me out the door. I follow unwillingly. I turn back to T.K before I close the door.

"I'm so sorry…"

I love you… 

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Ok, i know ive made mr. Ishida out to be an asshole (matt: *slap* language!) in this chapter, and i will explain in case you think this is totally OOC. Mr. Ishida is sleep-deprived, stressed and touchy. Imagine yourself in his position, and if you didn't have the best relationship with your son coz your never home coz your always out working and he's going through teenage years blah blah, and you've just found out he's gone and done drugs, and its just pushed you WAY too far. He's been through a lot, and he's not coping. I see him as a funny liddle man whos got good intentions, but is temperamental. I apologise if ive offended anyone in any way by putting him like this.

The same goes for Tai. If ive offended anyone by making him lose his temper, and swear, I am truly sorry. Tai cares deeply for matt, as he does all of his close friends and family, and the contempt mr. Ishida has shown for matt made him lose his temper. I would do what he did if any of my friends were in that position, and I would actually beat the living shit out of their father if they had the same opinions. I am truly sorry if i have offended anyone. Most things will be sorted out in the next chapter, so thank you for reading. Next chapter up sometime next week, because im busy this weekend.

Thanx.


	41. Chapter 41 hear our cry

Disclaimer: ish not myun. ish belongsh to dishney

Tai: *slap* why did it take you so long to put up this chapter?!

Me: owchies! T.T i couldn't help it!

Matt: someones still in a bad mood *edges away from tai*

Me: IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE!!! ive been so busy!!! ive got exams in 7 days!!! and i was away for 5 days last week so I couldn't put it up! im so sorry! *wails*

Tai: *snort* always the same excuses swifty…

Me: T.T but im serious!!! and since ive got exams, it might take a while to put up the next chapter, so just as a warning, it might take longer than a week again to update. hopefully not, but im just warning you

BIG THANX GO TO Rocke and Roll, DigitalDreamer, BeautyLiesWithin, Kari Elizabeth, Akira5867, Lethal Darkness, Cleo and Shadow-of-Hearts!!! Thank you so much for your kind words!! =)

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"And he wonders _why?!"_

"I-I don't know Tai…please-"

"No!" Taichi punches the wall again. 

Please…stop…not here…not now…stop it…please… 

I pull my knees in closer, desperate for the security it brings. I watch through tear-filled eyes Tai rest his head hopelessly against the wall. Sora approaches him warily and places a trembling hand on his shoulder, whispering comforting words I cannot decipher. I continue to sit here, cowering from my brother. His sudden rage attacked me in almost the same velocity it did Mr. Ishida. His change of character scared me to the core. I couldn't stand seeing Tai being hurt so deeply…I couldn't stand the conflict either. How could Mr. Ishida be so blind to Matt's situation? At the time where Matt needed him the most, he let him down. He'd let him down too many times. I'm not saying Mr. Ishida's a terrible, abusive father. He cares for T.K and Matt. But he doesn't _know them. He doesn't _know_ Matt's more fragile than he looks. Matt's no crybaby, but he needs a father who's gonna be there for him when he needs him. Like any normal person. He's depressed, and since Mr. Ishida's not gonna listen, what else will Matt do? What he's been doing to suppress his problems for the last year. Drug or drink himself out of it. But sooner or later, something was bound to go wrong, and it did. And now Mr. Ishida is counting the costs of his ignorance. But so many are suffering…_

Tai's head jerks up suddenly, awakening my eyes.

"Matt…" he mouths, panic filling his once fiery brown eyes. The name sinks in… Tai bolts off towards the elevator, slipping in just before the doors close. Sora runs towards me. I begin to shiver.

"C'mon Kari," she urges, panic evident in her voice, "let's go." She helps me stand, and we hurry over to the elevator, running into one about to leave. My mind races.

Oh no! What about Matt?! What if Mr. Ishida got to him first? What did he say? What did he do? Oh no…not more…Matt can't take it…he's gonna be driven to suicide…If Mr. Ishida was anything like he was to Tai…I don't want to think about it…

"C'mon," Sora's voice penetrates my thoughts and we jump out of the elevator, catching the sight of Tai running towards Matt's door. We chase after him, watching him open the door and freeze. We catch up and stand at the door. Tai rushes in.

"Matt!" he cries, fear taking over. Matt looks up to him with bloodshot eyes.

"No, please…" he moans, trying to back further into the corner he's cowering in. Sora runs in and joins Tai, while I quickly climb over the bed.

"It's Tai," Taichi comforts, looking directly into Matt's terrified eyes. Matt's eyes desperately search Tai's trembling eyes, before he throws himself onto Tai, clinging to him for dear life.

"He found out Tai…he found out…he found me," Matt cries, burying his face deep into Tai's chest. "He came…he came…" I slip quietly onto my knees and hug the crying Sora. Taichi wraps his left arm around Matt, and motions for me to get the blanket off the bed. I grab the white blanket, and Tai wraps it around the trembling Matt.

"He came…he found me…he was so…" Matt whispers, trailing off. I begin to shiver again, thoughts on what Mr. Ishida could've done to Matt to make him like this running through my mind. Beside me, Sora takes one deep, shuddering breath and shifts over next to Tai. She places her hand on Matt's retreated back.

"Don't worry…now…" she says, trying to keep her voice steady, "We're here for you, and no-nobody can come to harm you."

"But…but he still came," Matt whispers, slightly muffled from Taichi's shirt. "He came Sora…he came and he…he lost it. He screamed so loudly Sora…he grabbed my shirt…and he looked at me with such disgust…he was so ashamed of me…he screamed insults…so loudly…the nurses pulled him away…but it was too late…" Matt's voice dies. My heart sinks.

He got here first…he found out…oh no…now what are we gonna do? 

"It was too late…" I breathe, inaudible to anyone else. Tears stream down my cheeks, soaking the already damp collar of my shirt. Matt's bone-chilling scream pierces through my mind. Memories of Tai's encounter with Mr. Ishida flash before my eyes. I blink them away, my eyes flickering to the tears streaming down Sora's pale face. Time freezes. 

All the pain and suffering…will it never end? How long must this go? Will this all have to end with a death? Just to pull this all to a close will one have to die? But what will that bring? So many are suffering…hear my cry…hear our cry…

I shuffle silently towards Sora and place my arm around her comfortingly. She leans into my shoulder and cries. 

Hear our cry 

"Hear our cry…" I whisper, looking towards the ceiling. Movement to my left catches my attention, and I turn to find Tai slowly standing up, cradling a shivering Matt in his arms. Tai lets out a hiss of pain as Matt coughs, putting pressure on his injured arm. Matt's eyes snap open.

"Tai?" he asks breathily, fear in his voice, "What's wrong?" Tai lays Matt gently onto the bed.

"Nothing," he answers, his teeth gritted. My heart clenches. _He's injured his arm again! He wasn't supposed to use it! Oh no…_

"No, please," Matt whispers desperately, grabbing Tai's right arm.

"Ah!" Tai cries out in pain, pulling his arm from Matt's grip. Sora and I stand up as Matt holds Tai's hand and pulls back his sleeve, revealing the bandages. Matt's eyes widen.

"Oh no, Tai," he whispers, fear again evident in his voice. He slowly backs away, shaking his head.

"No, Taichi no," he moans, "I'm so sorry…no…no please no…" Matt's breathing becomes erratic as he nears the edge of the bed. 

"No! It's not your fault!" Tai assures, grabbing Matt and pulling him back into the middle of the bed. Matt trembles violently.

"Yes it is," he whispers, his voice quavering. "That's my fault. It always is." Matt stares at the floor, his eyes emotionless. Tai sighs, pulling up a chair and sitting down.

"Ishida…" he exhales, pulling down his sleeve, "Do I have to beat this out of you? It's been a while, come to think of it. Are you due for another smack in the face?" I stare at Tai disbelievingly. He has the uncanniest ability to bring up something usually funny in these kinds of situations, hoping to lighten the mood. Bad timing. But hey, it's Taichi.

"It was too late Taichi," Matt mumbles, lifting his tearstained face.

"It's never too late," Tai replies, a flicker of determination lighting in his eye. They stare deeply into each other's eyes. 

"I wish it was," Matt mumbles, his bleary eyes closing as he falls down onto his pillow, exhausted. Sora smiles sadly as she pulls the blanket over the fragile body.

"See ya round Matt," she whispers, kissing his forehead lightly before walking towards the door.

"Sleep well Ishida," Tai says, standing up and helping me to my feet.

"Thank you," Matt mumbles, curling into a ball under the blankets. Tai smiles, before walking towards Sora at the door.

"Remember, we're here for you," I mumble, truth echoing on every word. I place a yellow rose next to him. Matt stares at the flower, eyes shimmering in simplistic wonder. I walk to Taichi, and we leave.

Something so simple…the meaning beyond… 

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Ooooks…like i said before, it might take a while to update. but id like to thank everyone for not killing me for the last chapter…yeh, im paranoid, shaddup Rocke and Roll. Anywayyy…thanx, and cyaz!!! ^^


	42. Chapter 42 powerless

Disclaimer: is it really necessary that I put a disclaimer on every single chapter? -.- *sigh* well, just to keep the lawyers off my ass, I don't own _any_ part of Digimon.

matt: well, seeing as tai has just murdered swifty, she wont be up for interrogation as to why it took her way too long to update

tai: *growl* SHE PUSHED IT!!!

matt: well, anyway, she sends her thanks and *ahem* ~huggles~ to all her faithful reviewers, to whom she will properly acknowledge when we find john edwards or any other means of resurrection or contact. thanx!!! ^^

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"Anybody hoooome?"

"Tai, we're the only ones here."

"Oh yeh…"

We drop our bags near the doorway as we walk inside the dark, rather stale apartment. Gatomon brushes past my leg as I walk to the answering machine and press the button.

"You have…37 new messages." I raise my eyebrow.

"Damn we're loved," Tai says, looking to the appliance. I press the 'play' button.

"Well, I could do for a coffee," Tai yawns, traipsing to the kettle.

"Hello, this is Mrs…" 

"Already?" I ask, surprised, drowning out the message. "But you had one before we left Sora's!"

"…concerning the absence of Ka-"

"Yeh, but that was ages ago Hikari," Tai dismisses, pulling down a cup from the cupboard. "You want one?"

"No, I'm fine," I answer, skipping along all the messages that began with teacher's voices. "Half of these are from our schools."

Tai shrugs. "Well, what do you expect? It's not like our parents have told them we're not gonna be at school." I shrug in agreement, pausing my constant skipping of messages to listen to one from a friend.

"Hey Kari! I'm just calling-"

"That reminds me," Tai says, turning to face me, "we need to clean up this joint." I look to the rather clean TV area, but endless mugs and glasses catch my eye.

"Yeh…" I mumble, skipping yet another message. Tai walks towards me, stirring the contents of his steaming mug.

"Screw those Kari," Tai says, continuing to walk towards the couch, "they're all the same anyway."

"Well, I'm just checking for any for mum or dad," I reply, skipping another pointless message, "or any from mum or dad." Tai drops onto the couch, and flicks the television on.

"Fine," Tai shrugs, disinterested. Gatomon jumps up onto the table.

"Don't worry 'bout him Kari," Gatomon reassures, as I sigh wearily.

"Nah, don't worry, I'm just tired," I say, raising my head to give her a small smile. "But we have to clean up this place…" My thoughts suddenly run to my room, and the…the…

"Blood on the floor…" I breathe, my heart speeding up and my stomach churning. 

_I don't want to go in there…but who's gonna clean it up? Memories…memories…_

I give up on my fruitless search of the answering machine and walk over to the couch, joining Tai in his half-hearted search for entertainment, and distraction. I sink into the soft cushions and watch the horses sprint mercilessly across the luscious green turf, and find myself wishing I was like them. Wishing I could run that fast, be that powerful…just to run away from it all. But then what would I be? A coward. Afraid to confront my problems, my fears. Tai switches the channel, and a completely different show appears. Two people are stretching their arms, fingertips mere inches away from touching. Then one person slips, and falls. Falls into the everlasting oblivion below.

That's how I feel. Everyone I love is falling into that darkness…swallowed by it…leaving me in the wake of watching them go…Why can't anything go right?

I begin to feel cold, and I curl into a foetal position as Tai switches the channels again. I hear Tai dropping the remote on the glass top of the coffee table, and the movement as he pulls his legs onto the couch. A long silence falls between us.

"I wonder what's going to happen," Tai says quietly, breaking the silence. I open my eyes, a sudden desire for the answer to that question washing upon me.

"I…I don't know," I answer, my voice slightly muffled by the presence of a pillow. "Anything can happen." Tai doesn't answer for another five minutes.

"Physical wounds will heal," Tai says, mumbling slightly, "but what about psychological ones? What's gonna happen to Matt?" I lift my head slightly, looking at Tai's thoughtful profile. I'm somewhat surprised by this sudden serious tone. The sadness and almost worry in his voice was totally out of character. I hadn't heard him speak like this since our adventures in the Digital World.

"Matt's father is such an asshole," Tai speaks again, more passionately than before. "I'm so scared what he's gonna do to him. And I've just made things worse by picking a fight with him. But he deserved it…he was asking for it…" A part of me agrees. Tai sighs, placing his mug on the coffee table next to the remote. 

"This is all so fucked," he mutters, anger and despair both evident in his voice. He sets his steely eyes on the television, though I'm sure he's not really there. A wave of pity for him rises in my stomach, and I find myself stretching out my legs so they rest on his lap. He turns to me, humour slowly creeping into his features.

"I'm not a footstool you know," he says, mocking seriousness. I smile. Tai laughs and looks away.

"Well," he says, yawning, "I'm going to bed. Who cares if this place is a pigsty? It'll look more convincing that we've been here if it is." He pats my legs and slowly rises to his feet. I curl back into a ball and stare at the flashing lights of the television.

"'Night," Tai yawns from the entrance to our bedroom.

"'Night," I call back. Gatomon jumps up onto the couch where Tai once sat.

"Kari, wanna talk?" Gatomon asks. I feel her large eyes looking at me, but have no energy to turn and look at her.

"Nah," I mumble in reply, feeling too fatigued to talk.

"Fine," Gatomon shrugs, "But if you explode from bottling up too many feelings, don't say I didn't try." I giggle softly at her humorous tone.

"Thanks Gatomon," I mumble. I close my eyes as I hear the television turn off. I can't be bothered going to my room…just sleep on the couch…good enough…

The corset grips at my torso, inhibiting my breathing. I cough involuntarily as I pull at the unseen laces in a futile attempt to loosen the bodice. My ribs cry out in pain as I try to take a deep breath.

"A real lady shouldn't fidget around."

I look up wildly, trying to find the source of the voice. Damn I hate these dreams…

"Who…who are you?" I ask, voice straining. The shadows flit about around the royally decorated throne I sit upon. From behind one of the looming pillars before me steps out the armoured swordsman.

"Dakedo…" I breathe, the name somehow present in my memory. The shadow smiles.

"So you remember me," Dakedo states, taking two more steps forward, "I feel so honoured."

Fear runs through my body, rooting me to the spot, rendering me vulnerable. Dakedo continues to make his way to my position, all the time his eyes glinting victoriously. Panic arises in my chest as he stands a mere step away from me.

What am I to do? What can I do? I'm all alone…

Dakedo takes my hand and pulls me into a standing position, holding me gingerly in his arms. Any energy I had left disappears.

It's all over…

Don't give up hope!

My eyes widen as the voice penetrates my foggy mind. A sudden warm feeling wraps itself around me, causing Dakedo to scream in pain. A faint pink glow outlines my figure as Dakedo glares at me from his position two metres away. But his glare melts into a smirk.

"So, you've found salvation," he says, smugness dripping from his voice, "But this will be your last!" His face contorts as he pulls out his bow, cocks an arrow and releases. The arrow flies through the air and pierces me in the chest. I cry out as the warmth and glow disappears.

"Never again…" Dakedo whispers venomously…

I bolt upright, gasping for breath. Warm, comforting arms find their way around me as I let tears of fright leak from my eyes.

"It's ok Kari," Taichi soothes, holding me close. I clutch his shirt and try to calm down. This is silly…just calm down Kari, it was only a dream…only a nightmare…nothing else…

I take one deep, steadying breath and pull away from Taichi's embrace to face him. Concern settles in his eyes.

"Are you ok Kari?" he asks, still holding my shoulders. I nod shakily.

"Yeh…yeh I-I'm ok," I answer, rather quietly. Tai reaches for his cup of coffee and offers it to me. I drink it gratefully, the hot liquid warming up my cold body.

"Thanks," I mumble, handing him the cup.

"That's ok," he replies, taking the cup. "Now Kari, tell me-" A sudden 'thump' interrupts Tai. We both look around, confused.

"What was that?" Tai asks, putting down the coffee.

"I-I don't know," I mumble, pushing back the blankets. I look over the back of the sofa, and find Gatomon lying on the floor.

"Gatomon!" I cry, clambering over the back of the sofa and picking up the Digimon. "Can you hear me? Gatomon!"

Gatomon bats open a weary eye. "I'm sorry. I was just tired…" Light suddenly surrounds the cat Digimon, and when it disperses, Salamon appears in its place.

"Wha-what's going on?" Tai asks, confused. I shake my head, but it suddenly hits me.

Dakedo…

Dakedo said he couldn't touch me when I'm in the arms of someone I love. That includes Tai and Gatomon. And when he almost succeeded in taking me away…then I suddenly had a rush of power to repel him…and he shot me with that arrow…which has…

My eyes widen as I rush to my room. I grab my Digivice off the table.

The screen is blank. The device is lifeless. Panic arises, and I shake it in an attempt to hopefully bring it to life.

No…no…this can't be! This can't be happening!

"Kari! What's wrong?" Tai asks as he reaches me.

Dakedo…

"He…he took my crest…" I mutter, my eyes unfocused. "He…he killed it…he…it has no more power…"

"What?!" Tai exclaims, disbelief and confusion etched in his tone. "What are you talking about? Kari!" I turn around and face him, still cradling the sleeping Salamon in my arms.

"Dakedo has killed my crest!" I say, slightly louder than before. "He shot me, and he's stopped the power coming from it, therefore I can't do anything in the Digital World and I wont be able to stop him next time!" My voice rises at the end, panic and fear fuelling it. Tai stares at me in total confusion.

"Who is Dakedo?" he asks, deciding that would be his first of many questions. I hold Salamon tighter, lowering my eyes.

"He's been haunting my dreams lately," I mumble, a clear image of him surfacing in my mind, "he's a swordsman, but I don't know if he's human or Digimon. He says he's here on behalf of his 'master', but I have no idea who his master is. He's tried to take me to his 'master' twice, once just before, and he's failed. My crest helped last time, so he shot me with an arrow, and now it's powerless…so now I don't know how I'm gonna stop him next time, or what's gonna happen to Gatomon or the Digital World if my crest doesn't regain power." I feel Tai staring at me, but I don't look up. A single tear of hopelessness finds its path down my cheek. But Tai's warm arms find their way around me again, and he pulls me into a comforting hug.

"Don't worry Kari," Tai says strongly, "we've faced worse, and we've pulled through. Don't forget, that we're all here for you. Yes, especially Davis." I laugh weakly. Tai grins, "But no, I'm serious. Look, we'll call up the others, namely Izzy, and maybe see if we can find anything out about this guy. I'm sure I've heard something about a mysterious swordsman before…and we'll take Gat- Salamon, sorry, to the Digital World. She'll probably feel better there, k?" I nod, slightly more heartened at Tai's plan and reassurances.

Tai smiles, "Good. Now, I'll call up Izzy and get him on the case of this Dakedo, and then I'll call the rest of the new lot and see what they're up to." Tai ruffles my hair as he leaves the bedroom. I look down to my lifeless Digivice, and worry begins to eat away at me again.

How can I defend others and myself without this? I can't burden myself upon Tai now; he's got enough to deal with. But who?

Dakedo's figure appears in front of me. He smiles triumphantly. "Nothing can stop me now…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

matt: well, swifty still is feeling the wrath of tai…

tai: *glare*

matt: O.o well, um…well, swifty is most likely feeling pretty remorseful about not updating for so long, so maybe she'll learn from her mistakes-

tai: SHE'D BETTER IF SHE KNOWS WHAT'S GOOD FOR HER!

matt: O.o anger management…

tai: *twitch*

matt: so she'll try to update in a week, and hopefully continue with weekly updates from now on. so please review, coz if you don't, we get killed. thanx! ^^


	43. Chapter 43 go

Disclaimer: pfft. me? own Digimon? ha!

WELL! IT SURE IS GOOD TO BE BACK!!! ^^ THANK YOU TO THE WONDERFUL MONS AT PRIMARY VILLIAGE FOR BRINGING ME BACK TO LIFE!!! lol, im back, and ive updated!!! ^^ YAYNESS!!!

taichi: *currently restrained* NOT FOR LONG!! LET ME GO!

me: ^^;;; anyway…as you can see, my life is constantly under threat-

assorted characters bent on spilling my blood: YOU MUST DIE!!!

me: ^^;;;;; -but I still must apologise for taking wayyyy too long to update. im surprised I didn't get many death-threats from my faithful readers and reviewers…^^; shit…just gave them an idea, didn't I?

matt: -.-; yup

me: well, anyway, im on the floor, begging and begging for your forgiveness, coz im so sorry it's taken me so long, and I hope you enjoy this chapter…

taichi: *breaks free* DIE!!!

me: O.o;;; AAAHHH!!! AND A MASSIVE, GINORMOUS *HUGGLES* AND THANX GO TO: Blackout12 (HUGE huggles!!), Darkness Princess (im sorry!), Musicstarlover, Lethal Darkness (I miss u! *huggles*), Juliana Cleo, shadow-of-hearts (EMAIL ME! I wuv u! *big puppy eyes*), Taichi Kamiya3 (that's ok ^^), flipstahhz, Digitaldreamer (WE LUV SORA!! ^^), BeautyLiesWithin (no prob! ^^) and anyone else I haven't mentioned! ^^ thanx for reviewing! Luv ya!

(ps, for shadow-of-hearts and Digitaldreamer, my cousin has kingdom hearts final mix, and Sora. Is. Evil! AND DAMN COOL!!! *dies* talk ta ya soon! ^^)

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My fingers trace delicately around the soft, tanned skin of Tai's face. His peaceful composure and soft, even breathing sets my heart at rest. My fingers come to a halt at his cheekbone. Evidence of lack of sleep and stress pronounce themselves beneath his eyes. My heart sinks.

Not Tai too… 

"He barely slept last night," a quiet, suppressed voice comes. I turn to face a downhearted Koromon. A wave of sympathy for the innocence of the poor Digimon rushes from me.

"He kept waking up, shivering…" Koromon began, his voice barely over a whisper. "He's so worried about Matt…I don't know what to do anymore…" Small tears leak from Koromon's eyes. "He doesn't know what to do anymore…" My heart sinks down another notch. Koromon looks up at me with watery eyes.

"What are we gonna do?"

The one question I've been dying to know the answer for. The one answer that will not come.

"What we're gonna do," comes a weary voice, "is make Taichi a cup of coffee." I look to the stirring Tai. He stretches his arms, and looks to me bemusedly.

"Well, hello," he says rather airily. "Cup of coffee?" I sigh in defeat, too shaky to do anything more. Tai yawns widely, turning to me at the same time.

"Wha…what's the time?" he asks slowly, still trying to finish off his yawn. I look to the clock.

"'Bout two o'clock," I answer, feeling fatigued myself.

"Mmmm…" Tai muses half-heartedly, "gotta go see that doctor or whatever in an hour…" Tai stretches again, before getting up.

"Oh yeh," I mumble distractedly, watching Tai amble into the kitchen. Koromon jumps up onto my lap and shakes the tears from his eyes, rubbing his face into my shirt. I absentmindedly watch Tai tousle his hair and yawn widely as he pulls down a cup and switches on the kettle. I sigh heavily, wishing for a warm and inviting bed to rest my weary self, and to hold Takeru closely in my arms. To embrace his tender frame and for him to hold me…to know everything's alright…just for one moment…that could last an eternity…

The phone rings.

"I'll get it!" Taichi calls, reaching across from his position on the kitchen bench. "Hello?" I pull on the sleeves of my jumper, until-

"Matt?"

Koromon and I instantly turn around and look directly at Tai's curved back, ears pricked for anything more.

"Yeh…ok…thanks man," Tai says, nodding slightly. "Yeh…k's we'll see ya soon. Cool. Bye." Tai hangs up the phone, swivelling around to face his expecting audience. Tai smiles slightly.

"Don't worry," Tai begins, dispelling any fears with the calm expression on his face, "Matt's fine. He's just called 'cause he thought you might like to know-" Tai directs this to me "- that his dad isn't at the hospital, in case we (or more to the point, you) wanted to visit T.K." My heart lifts, a warm happiness settling in.

Maybe my fantasy isn't too far away… 

Tai smiles at the sudden change in my demeanour. "Anyway, it'll nicely coincide with my needing to go out, so I'll-"

"Anybody home?!"

Tai, Koromon and I all turn, surprised, to the door as it unlocks and opens, presenting a cheery Mr. Kamiya. He smiles warmly.

"Well! Isn't it good to see you all again!" he exclaims, clearly in a good mood.

Which rather clashes with the mood here… 

Mr. Kamiya's gaze wonders around the slightly untidy apartment, falling upon the ruffled Taichi and his coffee, and the endless mugs piled everywhere.

"Well…at least you haven't attempted to cook," he remarks, laughing slightly. "I'm scared that you might've found out you take after your mother in that department while we were away…" I smile in humour as Tai lets out a small laugh.

"Yeh, well," Tai shrugs, finishing his coffee, "we knew better."

Mr. Kamiya laughs. "That's good. Well, I'll go unpack, and maybe enjoy a mid-afternoon siesta. See ya kids!" Mr. Kamiya picks up his suitcase and disappears into the main bedroom. A surprised silence falls after the door shuts.

"Well…" Tai says distantly, still staring at the door in a trance, "that…was interesting…" I nod silently in agreement. Tai shakes his head to rid his stupor, and puts his cup in the sink.

"C'mon Kari," he yawns, still fatigued, "let's get ready to go."

"Wha- now?" I ask, looking at the clock. Tai scratches his stomach.

"Yah, now. I wanna stop off at that novelty store on the way…gonna get Matt a liddle pressie…heh." Tai smiles as he walks off into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. I stare at the door for a few seconds, before turning to Koromon.

"Well…that _was_ interesting…"

"This'll cheer Matt up. Bet he's been lacking this while in there."

"Oh so thoughtful Tai. You're compassion brings tears to my eyes. Let us praise you."

"Yes! Praise me! Grovel, oh unworthy creatures! Grovel, I tell thee!"

I laugh as Tai continues to walk with the high and mighty look on his face. We cross the road and walk down in the direction of the hospital, Tai cradling the bucket of gel he bought like it was his most valued treasure, still acting all haughty.

"So Tai," I begin, shifting my backpack into a more comfortable position, "what time are you gonna pick me up? Or am I walking home?" Tai drops his arrogant act and moves onto a comical thinking pose.

"Well, Matt said the jacka- sorry, _Mr. Ishida_ had to go to work, so he wont be back all day." Koromon's laughter rings from my backpack.  "So, I'll come meet you here after, cool?"

I laugh. "Cool." The shadows of the hospital building cast themselves over us as we walk through the doors to the hospital. Any sliver of joy we held in ourselves disintegrates the instant we step across the threshold. A chill runs through my veins.

"No matter how many times I come here, or how happy I am, this place always destroys me…" I whisper quietly, walking closely next to Tai, who nods slowly in agreement. Each step towards the elevator is a painful effort to disclose the memories that threaten to arise; each moment passing like an eternity. The elevator doors open, and I hurry inside, sinking my trembling form into the corner, my heart beating at a million miles an hour. I hold my knees close to my chest as memories of dark moments begin to flow my mind. I feel Tai kneel next to me, but whatever he's saying I can't comprehend. Hopelessness begins to set in as I mentally scold myself for not being strong.

Why does this happen every time? Why do I keep letting myself get like this? I'm being so selfish…I should be thinking of Taichi, and Matt, and Sora, and T.K…oh T.K…I'm so sorry to let you down like this…No! I won't stay like this! I can't! Takeru's depending on me!

I lift my head and stand up, making my resolution not to fail for anyone again. The doors of the elevator open, and we walk out, heading down the bleached corridors to Matt's room. Tai knocks gently before we enter. The room is entirely cast in shadow – only a dull glow from the closed curtains illuminates the small silhouette sitting up in the bed.

"Hey Matt," Tai says, closing the door behind him before walking towards the bed. I follow, and bite back tears as Matt's face comes into view. Dark shadows beneath his eyes stand out on his deathly pale skin, his hair framing his hollow cheeks and his dull blue eyes. I inwardly wince at the thought of how much this would be hurting Tai. But Matt's sickly features brighten in the slightest as he sees us.

"Hey Tai," Matt greets in a raspy voice, dull eyes shining for a brief second. Tai jumps onto the foot of the bed playfully and sits the bucket of gel in Matt's lap.

"I brought you something!" Tai exclaims, much like a child showing off a new toy. "Thought you might need it!" Matt looks at the multicoloured label and smiles weakly.

"Thanks Tai," he wheezes, coughing slightly, "I have been lacking this while in here." Tai flashes a cheesy grin, causing Matt to smile again.

"Thanks Tai," he says, his voice barely audible, "You always know how to cheer me up. Thanks for coming too. I thought you would've just gone to see T.K." Tai pretends to look scandalised.

"Oh no!" he exclaims, sounding offended, "and not pay you a visit on the way? Yamato…honestly…" I laugh weakly at Tai's sentiments, moments later feeling Koromon escape my backpack.

"Waah! I needed to get outta there!" Koromon exclaims, jumping onto Tai. Tai attempts to catch the pink balloon, but Koromon eludes his grasp and jumps into his hair, finding his resting place.

"Aah! Koromon! You're gonna ruin my hair!" Tai exclaims, sticking out his tongue. Koromon merely laughs and jumps around.

"Hi Matt!" he exclaims in mid-air, "And Gabumon says hi too!"

Matt smiles, "Thanks Koromon."

Tai launches himself into a comedic conversation, seemingly pleased that Matt is…well…more _alive_, for lack of a better word. Tai's voice soon drifts away from me as I stare absentmindedly into the shadowy corner near the window, a calm, settling feeling wafting over me.

That was not to last.

T.K's voice drifts into my hazy mind and I can suddenly see him, standing there, telling me another story of him and Matt's attempt to clean up Matt's apartment, laughing as he tells me of the Mt. Everest of clothes in Matt's room. I can see his eyes glistening – just like they always did…

Wait, they are glistening! 

I squint closer, and my blood runs cold. A piercingly icy gaze stares directly at me leeringly. A small flash of light catches my eye and I find a bow and quiver of arrows on his back. My eyes widen in fear.

Dakedo… 

Fear courses through me, and I begin to tremble. My eyes flicker to Matt, who seems to have frozen. I bite my lip, thinking frantically what to do. I notice Matt's dull eyes flicker to the shadowy corner where Dakedo stands, before flickering back to me, slight confusion and fear hiding in his eyes. A sudden thought pops up in my mind.

Can he see Dakedo? 

"Hey Kari," Matt says steadily, his voice slightly more audible, "Do you wanna go see T.K? You don't have to stay. I know you're probably not interested in what Tai and me are saying. Is that ok Tai?" Matt turns to Tai, breaking our gaze. Tai looks between Matt and myself, before nodding.

"Ya, sure!" he answers brightly, thoroughly interested in the idea. "Go right ahead Kari! I'll come meet you after, k's? Say hi to T.K for me!" Tai flashes a grin.

"Say hi for me too," Matt adds, voice dying again. Matt stares at me intently as I walk up to him and hug him.

"Get well soon Matt," I say, rather mechanically. As I pull away to leave, Matt gently whispers, "Go. Stay from the shadows." I stare at Matt in slight surprise, this sudden advice confirming what I had already thought. I nod in understanding before turning to leave, Tai and Koromon's farewells following me out the door. I shut the door behind me and lean against it, sighing heavily. I let one single shiver rack my body before I compose myself and leave, almost running towards the light that could protect me from the shadows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ooks…thanx for reading, and…im thinking…hang on…I think I'll be able to update fairly soon (as in a week) this time round, coz I haven't got music camps or constant rehearsals or much that should lessen the time for writing. I think all the good tv shows are off as well…T.T so unfair! Anyway, thank you so much, and plz review! Coz it gives me more encouragement to continue! Thank you, and I WUV YOU!!! ^^

and remember…

--[everyone will suffer…]--


	44. Chapter 44 deal

Disclaimer: je ne posesse pas Digimon

im not putting up any excuses for why this chapter took so long coz im sure you are all sick of hearing it. All ive gotta say is im so terribly sorry for taking so long, and I hope you likes this chapter and I hope I can get the next chapter done and posted by 2 weeks or less. Thanks for your encouraging words and reviews, and I will keep going until this is finished.

And btw, sorry if the chapters look dodgy, but half the time italics doesn't show up! *growls* must…get…revenge…

Thanx go to: Blackout12, Rocke and Roll (NOBODY CAN ESCAPE! MWAHAH!!!), Lethal Darkness (I think I was…but I don't remember…-.-;), Juliana Cleo, Psycho-Kitty-Purra (thank you so much *blush* and yeh…^^;; I did notice that…but I can't be bothered going over and re-writing all the chapters again, coz I'd end up changing the whole story too…), Bleh (*sneaky grin*) and Sara1664. thanx for reviewing! =)

ps. _Onichan_ – older brother

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I knock on the door, every fibre of my being praying that no one would answer. I wait anxiously, almost hearing the seconds pass by.

No one answers.

I breathe a slight sigh of relief as I slowly open the door and peek into the room. Unlike Matt's room, this room is filled with a gentle sunlight streaming through the open window, illuminating the peaceful figure lying in the bed. I slip into the room and close the door behind me. T.K stir's slightly.

"Mum…I told you before, get some sleep," T.K mumbles, taking a rather ragged breath, "I'm fine." T.K's eyes roll over to me. He blinks dazedly.

"Takeru…" I whisper, my voice shaking as pure elation at seeing him finally awake, talking and breathing on his own, flows through me. I hurry to the side of his bed and throw my arms around him, tears of happiness leaking from my eyes and onto his shoulder.

"Oh T.K, you're alright!" I sob into his shoulder, clutching him closer. I feel his tube-ridden arms slowly wind their way round my trembling form, embracing me in a comforting hug.

"Kari…" he whispers, letting out a small laugh. "It's so nice to see you…after so long…"

I hold him closer. "Oh T.K, I've missed you so much…" A fresh wave of tears find their way down my cheeks and onto T.K's pillow.

"Oh Kari, don't cry," Takeru soothes, his voice a little more solid. I bury my face deeper into his shoulder, finding comfort there.

"Oh Takeru, you're finally better," I mumble, my voice muffled by T.K's clothing. "You're finally awake…you're finally here…" T.K traces circles on my back in a calming gesture, gently whispering comforting words as my tears subside. I gently pull away from his shoulder, letting out a small laugh at the damp patch I'd left behind. My eyes flicker up to meet his entrancing blue eyes in a soft gaze. A warm smile plays across his face, lighting up his pale features.

"Thank you for coming," he says, his arms falling slowly from around my back. "I thought you'd never come back after what my dad…" I put a finger to his lips, smiling gently, but inwardly wincing at the memory.

"Shhh…" I whisper, slowly withdrawing my finger from his colourless lips, "If you think that that would stop me from visiting, you have very little faith in me." I slowly intertwine our fingers, backing myself down into a nearby chair in the process. T.K's smile slowly fades and he blinks sadly. My smile falters, dreading that one question…

"How's Matt?"

Bingo.

"Um…" I mumble, my mind racing with a million different thoughts and words to say. 

_What do I say? Do I tell him the whole story? I mean, he already knows why Matt's in here, but do I tell him that his brother is sitting in a dark room, wallowing in depression?_

"My parent's won't tell me…" T.K's voice penetrates my hurried thoughts. I look at his worried face, and my heart melts. Yamato and him are so close…even though they don't live together. I know I'd want to know if something happened to my Onichan and I couldn't find out myself. I sigh heavily, not wanting to tell him about Matt just when he's on the recovery track.

"Matt's getting better," I say, deciding not to tell the whole truth. Sure, he's physically getting better (minus the amount of food he's eating, which equals to zero), but mentally…I'm not exactly sure…

Takeru looks at me knowingly.

"And…?" he beckons, wanting me to continue.

"And what?" I ask, acting bewildered, hoping he wasn't going to ask about his psychological state.

T.K sighs. "How _is_ he? I'm sure my dad went to pay him a little _visit_…" Takeru's voice clenches on the last word, a slight hint of bitterness in his weak voice, "and I'm sure he wasn't all chocolate and roses with him…" My heart clenches at T.K's words. He was right. I wince as memories of the traumatized Matt cowering in the corner of his dark room surface in my mind. I feel T.K's hand gently squeeze my own, and I look up.

"Please? I'm so scared for him…" T.K's raspy voice breaks my heart. He's so concerned…but how do I tell him?

"I-I-" I begin, but am interrupted by a knocking on the door. I spin around in my seat, my heart thumping wildly. I feel T.K tense.

Oh, please not let it be his parents… 

The door opens to reveal a doctor and a nurse. I breathe a sigh of relief, and T.K relaxes.

"Good afternoon Mr. Takashi," the doctor greets rather formally, lifting the chart off the bed and flicking through it. "Now I'm sorry that I have to interrupt your time with your visitor, but we must run some more tests." I look back to Takeru, and he stares back sadly. I rub his hand comfortingly.

"Don't worry, I'll come back later," I reassure, lifting his thin hand to plant a gentle kiss on the back of it. "Good luck." I smile weakly, hoping to alleviate the worried expression on his face. The nurse bustles around behind him, preparing him for his journey. T.K smiles half-heartedly, before leaning towards me and placing a gentle kiss on my cheek. I immediately feel my cheeks heat up as he lies back down on the pillow.

"Thank you," he whispers, a more truthful smile on his face. I smile, slightly embarrassed by the blush in my cheeks.

"Ready to go?" the doctor asks, breaking our gaze. T.K nods slightly and I stand, giving T.K's hand one last encouraging squeeze.

"I'll come back, I promise."

T.K smiles. "Me too." I manage a watery smile as the nurse and doctor begin to navigate T.K's bed out of the room. T.K sends me one last smile before he disappears down the halls, leaving me to the slightly billowing curtains and his empty room. Every tense emotion suddenly loses its grip and I fall into a chair, weak with relief. I sigh happily, the last of my uncried tears making its way freely down my face. I smile and close my eyes, letting the cool breeze from the window flow onto my face and send a further wave of relief over me.

"Everything's gonna be alright," I whisper elatedly, letting each syllable float in the air. "T.K's awake! And everything is going to be ok…" my voice trembles slightly, unable to hold back the emotion. 

After all this time…after all this time things are finally going right… 

_~~_

"Tai! Ack! My hair!" 

_I hear Tai and another recognisable voice snigger as I squeeze the water out of my hair._

_"I'm gonna kill you Taichi!"_

_Tai's laughter rises as my threat reaches his ears._

_"Yeh, right. Whatcha gonna do Kari? Gimme a makeover?" The other voice erupts into laughter._

_"Matt! That wasn't funny!" T.K's voice joins the fray, he himself shaking his hair free of water._

_"Oh c'mon, you can't deny me of any fun can you? You were just too busy ogling Hikari to see it coming!" T.K. immediately turns an interesting shade of red. I feel my cheeks beginning to flush._

_"I was not!"_

_"Ooooh! T.K and Kari sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"_

_"SHUT UP TAI!"_

_"Aha-ACK!"_

_Tai fell from his position in the tree as my pencil case smacked him in the face._

_"Nice aim Kari…"_

_~~_

I smile as the memory replays itself, reminding me of the times before all this started, and how lucky we were.

"Yes, how lucky you were…"

I bolt upright in my chair, thoroughly startled by this voice. A cold breeze blows in the window and the curtains billow fiercely, sending an unknown fear through me.

Why am I fri- 

"Because I posses the one thing you hold dear," the voice continues, a vengeful tone in his voice. My eyes widen as the Venetian blinds fall from their position hoisted above the window and covered the sunlight, sending a shadow only broken by small slits of sunlight across the room. I suddenly feel the presence of cold water around my ankles. I look down to the floor and panic floods me. Dark, murky waters flood the room, a mist rising slowly from it. I look around anxiously, remembering the last time this happened and what it meant.

"T-Tai?" I stutter, my desperate plea barely sounding from my lips. "T.K? M-Matt? S-S-Sora?"

"Kari…"

I bolt out of my chair, scared at the response. I look around the room wildly, wondering where the voice came from. I swear it was…

"Tai?" I ask again, fear overtaking me.

"Kari…please…"

I stare into the corner, a dark outline suddenly visible through the grey mist. I slowly walk towards it, shivering at the icy touch of the water around my ankles. I stop a metre away from the figure, trying to peer closer.

"Tai? Is th-that you?" I ask uncertainly, praying it was.

"It is, yet, it isn't," came the reply. It wasn't Tai's voice.

"Dakedo…" I whisper fearfully.

"Bingo!" Dakedo chirps mockingly, his figure becoming clearer. But he was not alone. Sitting behind him, slumped against the wall, is another figure. My blood runs cold.

"T-Tai!" I cry, taking a step towards him. But Dakedo holds up his hand, shaking his head. I look desperately towards Tai's unmoving figure.

"You want him?" Dakedo asks simply. I turn my terrified eyes onto his gleeful ones, the answer deadly obvious. Dakedo smirks, before turning around and wrapping his hand around Tai's neck, pulling him into an upright position. Tai gasps for air.

"No!" I scream, tears running down my cheeks. "Let him go!"

Dakedo's smile widens. "If you want him to live, then you must do something for me in return." I stare, horrified, at Dakedo. His smile only widens as his grip around Tai's neck tightens. Tai cries out, desperately clawing at the hands around his neck to break free.

"No! Please! Let him go!" I cry helplessly, tears blurring my vision as utmost terror shoots through me.

Tai's lips are going blue… 

My stomach sinks as the only possibility rises in my mind.

"Go. Stay from the shadows…" 

Tai's cry pierces through my thoughts and I'm brought back to the icy but triumphant glare of Dakedo.

I'm sorry Matt… 

"Alright! I'll do anything! Please just let him go!" I cry, my face now burning from tears. 

I'm sorry Tai… 

Dakedo's smile widens devilishly as he releases his death-grip on Taichi's neck. Tai falls to the floor, gasping for breath.

"Tai!" I cry, dropping to his side and cradling him in my arms. I wince at the bruises around his neck as he struggles to fill his lungs with air. I look up to Dakedo with pain-filled and slightly confused eyes.

"Why?" I choke out, my eyes stinging. 

Dakedo kneels before me, smiling victoriously. "Don't worry. It's all gonna be alright." He leans forward slowly, his intent gaze boring into me, before his lips capture my own and a cold feeling washes over me, begging me to fall into the dark abyss.

One last tear streaks down my cheek before I fall into darkness.

I'm sorry T.K… 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

long chapter! ^^ so, did u like? I hopes you did. And as I said before, im so sorry it took me so long to update, considering I said last chapter I'd have this up by the next week. So big apologies and constant bowing and begging for forgiveness! ^^ thank you for reading and please review! Thanks ya! =)


	45. Chapter 45 angel

Disclaimer: well, I haven't checked ebay lately, so I'm not sure if it's up for sale, but as of yet, still don't own it…*sigh* 

Taichi: well well _well. _Look what the cat dragged in…

Me: -_- I know! I deserve to die with how long it's taken me to update…AND I'M SORRY!!! *bows a thousand times* But to partially-

Taichi: _very_ partially

Me: -make up for it, I've rewritten the first two chapters. BUT! You don't have to go and bother yourself with reading it, coz the same things happened, nothings changed, it's just written differently. So don't bother going to read it if u cbf. Same shit, different bucket. ^^

Well, this time, to try to make up for this dreadfully long time to update, I swear im gonna try to get up the next chapter within the next three weeks, or even two. Cools? Cool. ^^

BIG, HUGE THANX GO TO ALL DA COOL PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED LAST CHAPTER! ^^ I'd put up ur names, but I don't have them -_- this is what happens when you don't have unlimited access to the internet…JUST KNOW THAT I LUV YA ALL! :)

Oh, and one last thing…sorry if the story looks a little screwed, but for some reason, half the time the italics don't show up. don't know why…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Itaikena hitomi… 

Mmm…so tired…

Kanashimi ga soshite hajimaru… 

…Wait…Tai? Where's Tai? _Taichi!_

I don't remember… 

So much… 

_…where am I?_

"The beach…"

My eyes snap open as I realise I can't breathe. I clutch my chest as I struggle for breath, but quickly look down as I feel something solid.

 A corset. Just like… 

"…in my dreams…" I breathe, a cold feeling drowning me. My eyes follow the trails of the delicate and complicated embroidery down to the immensely long, flowing skirt that covers my legs and the black stilettos adorning my feet.

"H-How did I end up like this?" I whisper aloud, panic overtaking me as I hear the crashing of waves.

Oh please not let it be… 

"The dark ocean…" I whisper, my voice hollow. The grey mist hangs heavily over the whole landscape, drowning any light and killing any hope. I peer around at the scarily familiar setting. 

I've been here that many times…? 

I slowly rise to my feet, for some unknown reason feeling myself being drawn to the ocean.

But why am I here? 

The answer suddenly hits me.

Dakedo… 

I follow the known path down to the beach, staring out at the ocean of people's miseries, secrets and failures. 

The ocean of darkness.

"Your new home…" comes an eerily familiar voice. I look to the left, finding the one person that brought me here.

"Pardon?" I ask, using a tone of anger to cover my fear.

"Your new home," he repeats, rather victoriously. "In exchange for your worthless brother's life, you sold your soul to my master. He has been waiting for you…" Dakedo bows, a distinct sneer on his face, and gestures towards the ocean where a great whirlpool of darkened water formulates. My eyes widen as a beam of darkness erupts from the sky and lands within the whirlpool. I quiver in fear.

"May I present to you," Dakedo announces formally, "my master, the lord of this world, Dagomon."

My heart stops in terror.

Dagomon slowly rises from the water, darkness swirling around him. I feel weak from the fear that has overtaken me. Dagomon slowly looks towards me, and smiles.

"Welcome, my lady," he greets, bowing slightly. "It is a great honour to finally have you by my side." The ocean suddenly splits, leaving a path for him to walk towards me.

"I have been waiting a long time for this…" he whispers greedily as he approaches me and cups my face with his clawed hand. Tears stream down my face as I look up into his glowing eyes filled with triumph and realise; this time there is no T.K to save me. There is no Gatomon to save me. There is no digivice to suddenly appear and drown this world in pink light and save all of us.

I am alone.

I shiver as he runs his scaly hand down my cheek and across my shoulder.

All alone.

"Such a beautiful thing..." he whispers, each syllable terrorising me even more.

"And now you are mine," he whispers huskily. A small whimper escapes from my pursed lips, my body tensing to aching point. Dagomon puts on a face of dramatic concern before shadows surround him, dispersing seconds later to reveal a human boy. I gasp in shock.

"_M-Matt?_"

'Matt' brushes back a loose part of hair and sneers at me. "Yes?"

I try to regulate my breathing as I study this 'Matt' closer. A dark shadow outlines his eyes, which themselves hold no pupil or colour, and his hair is tinted black. A thick choker is tied around his neck, and from this hangs an ancient rune that glows darkly. His outfit matches Yamato's favourite black combo exactly, except the black cuffs surrounding his wrists. I try to step back from this apparition, but find my legs won't move. I look desperately at the grinning Yamato. His face changes into one of mock concern.

"Oh, what's wrong M'lady?" he asks, stroking my cheek as he steps even closer towards me. "I trust you'll enjoy your stay…" his voice peters out as his cheek brushes against mine. I shudder from the touch and nearly scream as the brush of icy lips meets my tearstained cheek.

"But first…" he says, more clearly than before, "you must lose your fear." I look at him in confusion. He merely smiles back.

"Trust me," he dismisses, wrapping his arms around me. I begin to tremble again at the icy touch his skin brings, and from fear of what he's going to do. He grins once again before a flash of light blinds me, and I suddenly find myself, still in his icy grip, hovering above the ocean a good fifty metres from shore. Fear consumes me as his smile suddenly grows wicked.

"Relax…" he whispers, before I feel us plummet into the icy waters below. I stare in complete terror at his grinning face as we fall even deeper into the darkest depths of this ocean. My vision suddenly clouds as dark yet soothing voices begin to surface, and my breath begins to give way.

_|Peace… |_

"Our lady…help us…" 

_|Calm your fears…|_

"Taichi? Taichi? Don't give up…" 

_|Welcome the comfort…|_

"It's all gonna be alright…" 

_|That only darkness can bring…|_

_"I…I feel so safe…"_

_|Open your heart to darkness…|_

_"…so much suffering…"_

_|Why suffer so much pain? Come with me…|_

_"…I…I…"_

_[Hikari…]_

_"…T.K?"_

The darkness clouding my vision disappears and I see the serene face of a semitransparent Takeru smiling gently at me.

_[Don't give up Hikari…Don't listen to them…]_

_|Fall to darkness…come…princess…|_

"I…I…" I begin, but cannot finish. My vision begins to cloud again, and I feel the darkness from the ocean fill my lungs so I cannot breathe. T.K suddenly turns around and faces the embodiment of darkness that had taken on the form of his brother. My head begins to spin as T.K begins to talk to the 'Matt'.

"Hikari!" 

I feel reality slowly slip from me as the voice echoes in my head.

Sotto fureru mono… 

_[Stay with me…]_

_"I…I…"_

Watashi no ai no yurikago… 

_|Come with us…|_

_"…no…"_

A warmth from deep within my heart begins to radiate, and the darkness clouding my mind begins to fade. My eyes slowly flutter open, finding only the disguised Dagomon hissing and recoiling from my form.

_…The light shows you for who you truly are…_

"Who you truly are…" I whisper, the words stirring an unknown power within me. Dagomon's eyes widen as a white glow outlines his borrowed figure, before a pain-filled scream erupts from his mouth as his figure contorts and moulds back to it's original. I watch in a daze as his previously hung head lifts in the most agonizingly slow way, his slitted eyes glaring me dangerously through a mist of defeat and anger.

"No…" he whispers, his voice trembling slightly, "…you will be mine."

And before I can contemplate anything, he hurls his figure at mine, catching me in his arms before breaking the surface of the ocean and tearing towards shore.

_[Kari!]_

"T.K!" I cry, before a distinctive snarl reaches my ears. My eyes widen in panic as I find myself being drawn away from the possessive grip of the lord of this world, and suddenly thrown through the air. I scream in terror as I fly through the air, before feeling the inevitable 'crunch' as I collide with a palm tree. A small cry of pain escapes my mouth as a tingling sensation spreads from my spine. I fall into a heap on the ground, unable to move. I cry hopelessly.

Oh T.K, I'm so sorry…I…I… 

_|You've let everyone down again…_

_        …All those who've tried to look after you|_

_Why do I keep doing this?_

_|Come with us, and we will take you away from them…away from their accusing eyes and fake smiles…|_

_Away…_

_|Away from your failures…|_

_Away…to drown in cold…_

"No!"

I wearily open my eyes, wanting to find the owner of the voice.

"No, please Kari…please stay with me…"

"Hmmm…" I blink once, twice…and there he is. My angel of hope.

"Takeru…"

"Kari…please stay! Don't go!"

"But…I don't want to hurt you again…" I whisper, my words slurring. "…I don't want to hurt anyone again…"

"Don't be so stupid!" I hear Takeru exclaim, almost on the verge of tears. "You could never hurt me! You always do the best to help everyone! You're the Child of Light for a reason, y'know." A gentle smile crosses his features as he continues, "You always brighten up my day…you stayed in hospital with me, you always came to visit, you looked after my brother too…Kari, don't be ridiculous by listening to this place. You meant too much to me back then when you were summoned here for me to leave you, and nothing has changed. You mean too much to me now for me to leave you here and be taken out of my life."

My vision suddenly began to clear as T.K's words touch my heart. I smile gently, "How can I refuse that?"

T.K laughs softly. "C'mon, let's get you home." I feel T.K's arms slip under my back and the crook of my knees as he slowly stands, holding me close to him. I sigh as a golden glow erupts from an inscription of his crest just below his collarbone, and bathes our world in light. I lean into Takeru more as I feel a blanket draping itself around me and the essence of sleep coming with it.

"Welcome back, Kari," T.K's voice whispers, lulling me further into sleep.

Watashi wa ikiru… 

"Thank you, Taku…" I mumble, forgetting all else as a warm darkness swept over me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Awww nuthin' like a lil takari! ^^ lol

Btw, the Japanese was taken from a document that I found in my files, and here's the translation (if you care):

Itaikena hitomi = innocent eye Kanashimi ga soshite hajimaru = the sadness shall then begin Sotto fureru mono = searching for a gentle touch Watashi no ai no yurikago = in the cradle of my love Watashi wa ikiru = I shall live 

Well, thanx, and please review? It'd be vewwy nice of you :) heheheh cya!


	46. Chapter 46 free

Disclaimer: xix xdxoxnx'xtx xoxwxnx xDxixgxixmxoxnx

Hahah! I kept up my part of the deal!!! :D im so happy! I updated before school starts again!!! *dances around*

Tai: damn…I don't get to kill you…*mutter mutter grumble*

Me: oh what a pity…

Tai: *stalks off*

Me: well, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Now im gonna answer one question that kept popping up:

**Matt wasn't evil.** Dagomon simply used his form, but it did have an effect on Yamato and that will appear later on (like next chapter). So huge thanx and an evil Matt plushie go to: **miaow227**, **Lethal Darkness** (habibz email me! ;_; wanna talk 2 u…and thank u for advertising this fic! ^^ mwah!), **Rocke and Roll** (yup! ^^ dude I say that all the time…), **Darkness Princess** (O_O kouichi??? Ohoh…well I hope this wasn't too bad! *bows repeatedly* please don't hurt me!), **Bleh()**, and all else who reviewed! And im really sorry if ur name didn't appear, but if it didn't, I will give u extra special recognition next chapter! I promise! You get kawaii chibi taichi plushie! =^^=

Oh, and also regarding the updates to chapters 1 & 2. yes, they do exist, but as I tried to put them up, they wouldn't work. I'm gonna try again, but I'm sorry for any inconvenience caused.

**Warnings: **there is a bit of swearing in this chapter, so if ur particularly sensitive to that, I apologise in advance. Just so ur warned! ^^ Yama gets –nashtae- with his linguidy…

Well, on with the chapter! ^^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hmmm…the warmth is so nice…so comforting…

I bury my head deeper into the source, wanting more.

"Greedy…"

Oh oh…consciousness…

"Nnnn…" I mumble, not wanting to wake. It's too comfortable…

A laugh reaches my ears, and I swear I can hear a snicker…

Taichi.

I submit to my awakening mind and slowly let my eyelids rise.

"Well good morning Kari," comes Tai's amused voice.

"Comfortable?" comes T.K's raspy one. I suddenly realise what position I'm in and a blush spreads across my cheeks. I pull my head out of the comfort of Takeru's chest and turn around to face Tai.

"I _am_ comfortable, thank you," I say politely, a smile gracing my features as Tai continues to smirk. 

"I bet you are…"

"You'd better believe it."

I turn away from Taichi as his grin widens beyond possibility, and, feeling my muscles cramping, stretch myself out along the bed.

Bed?

My eyes snap open, and I stare about the…hospital room. I look to T.K, and find him smiling at me, tubes and wires running from his form to beeping machines behind and around us.

"We're…back?" I whisper, uncertainty hanging in my voice.

Takeru smiles reassuringly. "Yep."

And then I realise another thing – I'm in his bed, lying _very_ close to him. My face instantly hots up. And Taichi instantly bursts into laughter.

"Oh…" he wheezes, "The look…on your face…" and falls back into fits of laughter.

"Shut up Tai!" I bite hotly, burying my face into the pillow to cover my embarrassment. I hear T.K snort with laughter, and I look up at him accusingly. His face was pink with the effort of not laughing.

"You're all so mean!" I pout, burying my face again like a child.

"Awww I'm sorry!" T.K exclaims, wrapping his arm around my hunched form. "But the look on your face…" He snickers again. I pretend to sniff.

"C'mon Kari," Taichi laughs, poking me in the back, "get over it. We'd better head back to clean up the shit pile that is our house before mum comes home and cracks it." Taichi then wraps his arm around me and hauls me out of the bed. I cry out in surprise, and struggle in embarrassment.

"Put me down Tai! I swear I'm gonna kill you one day!"

Tai laughs. "You won't be able to catch me!" Taichi then drops me and runs out the door. "Bye Teeks!"

I grumble while trying to straighten out my creased clothing, noticing T.K smiling dumbly and waving at the open door. Grrr…

"Stop encouraging him!" I scold, sounding a lot like a mother. T.K grins, shifting himself back into the middle of the bed. My face softens as his sickly pale features remind me of what he did for me. I sit on the bed.

"Thank you so much T.K…" I say, sincere honesty in every syllable. 

T.K smiles warmly. "I couldn't leave you there. Like I said, you're too important to me. I'll always be there to haul you outta that place, 'k?" I laugh at T.K's sentiments, and take hold of his hand.

"Thank y-"

"Ka~ri! Come o~on!" came Tai's loud voice.

"Co~ming!" I chime back, rolling my eyes as I turn back to T.K. I kiss him softly on the forehead. "I'll come back soon, 'ks? Get better." I smile as a red tinge appears across his cheeks, before turning and leaving.

"'Bout time." Taichi says, pushing himself off the wall. "What were you two doing in there?" He smiles suggestively.

"No." I answer firmly, glaring at him. "I was just saying 'get better soon Takeru', 'tis all."

Taichi nods sarcastically. "Of course. What else do a pair of 11 year old lovebirds do?"

I slap Taichi playfully. "Shut UP Tai!" But I can't conceal my laughter. We enter the elevator, and Taichi continually elbows me, the suggestive smile and knowing look splashed across his face. The elevator comes to a halt, and Tai grabs my arm.

"Let's visit Matt!" he exclaims, dragging me out of the elevator.

"Gah! Tai!" I cry, my shoulder tingling at the sudden jolt. Taichi laughs and pulls me close to him.

"Yes, M'lady Hikari?" he asks, acting over-dramatically. I raise an eyebrow.

"Taichi, what did that doctor give you?" I ask, laughing as he turns his overly bright eyes onto me.

"I don't know!" He answers, snorting with laughter as he lets me go and continues walking down the corridors to…

"Hey wass this?" Taichi asks, looking at the nameplate.

"Hmm?" I ask, peering over his shoulder. "'Arimoto Tsuyoshi'…where's Yamato?"

Taichi frowns. "Dunno…maybe he's been freed?"

I look sceptically to Taichi. "…Maybe not. C'mon, we'll go ask reception." Taichi nods and we walk over to the reception desk.

"Excuse me miss," Taichi asks, catching the attention of the nurse, "We're looking for an Ishida Yamato? He was in room 105 but…" The nurse nods, types into her computer, and three seconds later, answers, "He's been transferred to psychiatric, room 32."

I instantly feel Taichi's mood plummet, and watch as his tanned face pales.

"Thank you," I quickly say, dragging Taichi away before he worried the nurse. I push him into an elevator and press the button for level 6.

"_Psychiatric?_" Taichi whispers, worried. I bite my bottom lip, knowing that if Tai was worried about Matt, everyone had reason to. Those two were like twins. The elevator came to a stop, and we stepped out amongst three other people. We begin to walk down towards the rooms before a nurse stops us.

"Excuse me, but you need to speak to the receptionist before visiting people here." She informed us politely, seeing the ghostly look on Taichi's face. I nod, thanking her before pulling Taichi over to the desk.

"Can I help you?" the older nurse asks.

"Can we visit Ishida Yamato in room 32?" I ask, praying that the answer was yes, for Taichi's sake if anything. The nurse types into her computer, before frowning slightly.

"May I ask for your names?" she asks, looking back up at us. Realisation dawns upon me.

Taichi, Sora and I aren't allowed in…Think quick Kamiya! 

"…My name is Akiko Ishida and this is my brother Toshio. We're cousins of Matt's." I answer, knowing full well that he did have cousins under that name. The nurse, checking her computer again, nods and smiles. 

"Sure, go on through. Room 32, straight down the hall and on your right."

"Thanks." I smile, bowing my head slightly before grabbing Taichi's arm yet again and lead him down the hall.

"Damn old man Ishida…" Taichi growls, narrowing his eyes. "I swear, if Karma doesn't get him, _I will._" I make no answer, as half of me agrees. We approach Yamato's room, and find a sign hanging from the door.

"'Please do not disturb – counselling session in progress'," Taichi reads, looking more forlorn than before. I walk to the left of the door, and peer through the windows into the room to find a dangerous looking Matt glare at a doctor. I pull Tai over.

"Leave me the fuck alone!" we hear Matt scream, the doctor receiving the abuse acting unfazed.

"Wow, he's good…" Taichi mumbles, and I realise I would be running off if Matt screamed at me with that velocity. The doctor says something, too quietly for Taichi and I to hear, but Matt's reaction is well seen and well heard.

"You know what?" Matt screams, pulling his hands out of his hair, "Fuck you and the bastard that sticks a cheque up your ass every week! That motherfucker will roast in hell and I know there are more people than me who will personally make sure he does! Just let me the fuck outta here!" Matt was now chocking on his tears, and I can feel Taichi's desperation to be by his side. Matt lowers his head, his hair curtaining his face.

"Where's Tai…" I watch Matt whisper desolately. The doctor again says something, and Matt's head snaps up in fury.

"Fuck you and your rules!" Matt screams back at him, before inhaling and screaming at the top of his lungs,

"_TAI!!!_"

Taichi bolts from my side, bursts in the door and runs to Matt's side, catching the boy as he hurled himself at the chocolate-haired angel. I quickly run in the room as Matt cries onto Taichi's shoulder. The doctor stares at us quizzically.

"And who are you may I ask?" he asks formally, switching his gaze between myself and Taichi.

"Oh…we're Yamato's cousins, Akiko and Toshio." I answer, hoping he would buy the lie and not work out who Taichi was.

"Toshi…I want Taichi…" Yamato whispers as he clutches to Tai. The doctor nods, convinced.

"I'll be back when you calm down Yamato," the doctor states, straightening his glasses as he reaches for the door. "We have much to do."

"Get fucked," Yamato mumbles harshly, loud enough for the doctor to hear. The doctor clears his throat before pulling the door closed behind him. I let out a sigh of relief.

Close one… 

"Shhh…c'mon Matt…" Tai mumbles, trying to calm his tense friend.

"Tai…get me outta here…" Matt whispers desperately, clinging to Tai as if for dear life. "They won't…let me go…They keep…keep asking…me questions…and they won't…won't let me…me see you…" Taichi continues to rub Matt's back soothingly to calm his hitching breath. "I…I h-hate my…my father so…so m…much…Tai…an-and…I-I want…to see Ta-Takeru…but I-I can't…" Matt's tears flow again as he mentions T.K. "Tai…can…can we go s-see T.K? Th…they won't let m…me go unless f…family co-comes with me…an-"

"Hasn't your mum come to visit?" Taichi asks incredulously, eyes wide.

Matt shakes his head. "She t-tried. B…but when sh-she came, th…they said I…I was too…unstable f-for visitors…" I can feel Taichi's anger rise with every word Yamato was trying so hard to say.

"Really," Tai bites dangerously, getting more pissed by the second, "well, we're gonna go see T.K right now even if I have to kill every single doctor on the way there!"

"Well…" Matt begins, looking up to Tai with watery crystalline eyes, "If…you're gonna kill…them all…can you kill…that damn do…doctor Shikata…coz he…he gives me the shits…" Taichi cracks a smile, before he bursts out laughing, Matt joining in with a shadow of his old smile.

This is going to be interesting…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

wow, five pages!!! Well, probably more like four…^^ but still not too shabbae…:) well I hope u liked!

Oh, and **please note: **the next chapter may take a while to post up, because I will be starting yr 11 in three days. All you Australians will probably understand what that means, but basically, either I study hard and get brilliant grades or you find a death notice on an authors note and no more never let go. So…lots to do…bugger. So I swear I will try to update really soon, but it may be hard as I'll have shitloads of schoolwork to do. GOMEN!!!

Well thank you for reading, and please review! It makes me happy…:)

Taichi: so don't review! Keep her unhappy! Mwahahaha-

Me: *smacks taichi with a mallet* shut ur pie-hole! Or no more living yamato *holds matt over a cliff*

Tai: T_T owchies…I'M SORRY!

Me: ^^ review!__


	47. Chapter 47 ares

Disclaimer: man I am running out of ways to put in the disclaimer!!! This is what…disclaimer no. 47?? Well, for the 47th time, I don't own Digimon. :) happy?

OO I KNOW!!! Its been _SO LONG _since I've updated…bordering on five months or more, isn't it? Well, I _did_ put in a warning last chapter…but I _never_ thought it'd take me so long…I am truly sorry. But some real serious shit has been happening at home. My mum is really sick and my dad's being a prick. On top of that, my work has decided that I should work both Saturday and Sunday, and school is getting harder…whine im so tired!!! GAH. TT well, now I leave a warning – THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL TAKE A WHILE TO COME OUT. I WARN THEE NOW. I have exams in…3 weeks screams so it definitely wont be out within that timeframe. After that, however, extended holidays, so expect an update within a month or so. I'm really sorry!

Warnings: well, the usual now. Some swearing, and now some psychological trauma. Woohoo…

Hope you like!!

"Here we goooo!"

Taichi grins mischievously as he tips Matt's wheelchair onto its back wheels and speeds off down the hallway, leaving me to run after them.

"Ta-Toshio!" I cry, catching myself before I ruin our plan. "Slow down!"

And they do.

Taichi stops abruptly and lowers Matt's wheelchair, Matt letting out a gust of breath as his joyride ends. Taichi eyes the doctors standing near him, hoping they don't approach him about 'what he was doing'. The doctor we saw 'counselling' Yamato raises an eyebrow at Taichi as I finally catch up with them, slightly breathless. Taichi grins innocently and begins to steer Yamato's wheelchair towards the elevator at a normal pace. We get in, and just as the doors are closing, Taichi waves enthusiastically at the aforementioned doctor.

"Bye, ya miserable son of a bitch," Matt mumbles, a tone of smugness not left out of his voice. Taichi laughs, and I roll my eyes.

"Tai, you coulda got us caught!" I hiss, more good-naturedly than an actual threat.

Tai sniggers, "And? Oh come on, it was just one joyride!"

I raise one delicate eyebrow. "Just one?"

The elevator stops, and Taichi grins. "Ok, maybe two." He laughs as he tips Matt's wheelchair again and speeds out of the elevator, manoeuvring amongst the people with almost pinpoint precision.

"Tai!" I hear Matt cry as Tai almost crashes headlong into a row of chairs. I roll my eyes as I walk briskly to Takeru's room, surprisingly catching up with the boys at his door. I cast a quick glance at Yamato, finding him extremely tense and almost at the verge of bolting, before Taichi knocks and opens the door. I look to find T.K slowly turning to us. Taichi pushes Yamato's wheelchair into the room, laughing softly.

"Hey T.K, look what we found hanging 'round the nuthouse." He says, pushing Matt haphazardly towards T.K's bed. T.K's eyes widen in pure surprise and delight as he realises who it is.

"Matt!" Takeru cries, pure elation laced into his voice.

"T.K!" Matt cries, sorrow and regret in his tone as he launches himself at his younger brother and pulls him into a crushing hug.

"M-Matt! You're ok!" T.K says, relief washing over his pale features.

"T.K…I'm so sorry…I-I…" Matt stutters, crying almost silently onto his brother's slight shoulders. "I-I…"

"Hey, calm down Matt…" T.K laughs, hugging his brother tightly. I lean onto Taichi, smiling sadly at the two blondes, knowing their happiness would soon be shattered by the temper of their father.

And so soon…

"It's so good to see you Yammie," Takeru breathes, referring back to the nickname Yamato had earned when T.K was too young to pronounce his name properly. "I was so worried 'bout you…"

"I'm sorry," Yamato squeaks, his voice trembling with emotion. "I'm sorry! I d-didn't mean to! I-I j…"

"Shhh…" T.K interrupts, trying to calm his hysteric sibling. "Don-"

A soft clicking noise interrupts T.K. I turn around, finding myself looking into the surprised eyes of Mrs. Takeshi.

"Y…Yamato?" she asks, voice breathy and shaky. An uncomfortable silence fills the small space. I bite my bottom lip in apprehension as Yamato shifts himself away from his mother, almost as if wanting to get as far away as possible, and sends his gaze to the floor. Mrs. Takeshi opens her mouth as if to say something, but suddenly turns to look out the door. Her head whips back around, her previous expression of surprise replaced by fear.

"Quickly!" she whispers urgently, "Hide Yamato! You're father's coming!"

Taichi reacts with lightning speed, leaving no time for emotional responses. Scooping a petrified Yamato into his arms, he runs into the adjoining bathroom, me quickly following with the wheelchair. I noiselessly close the door as the heavy footsteps of Mr. Ishida reach the hospital room. The tense atmosphere intensifies as I turn to face a shivering Yamato sitting on the counter, his hands gripping Tai's as if he were to die if he let go. A wave of pity washes over me. I have _never_ seen Matt so bad. _Ever. _

My depressive thoughts are interrupted by the conversation occurring beyond the door.

"Where is he?" Mr. Ishida's voice, laden with forced calm, comes.

"Who?" Mrs. Takeshi responds, her voice quavering ever so slightly.

"That conniving son-of-a-bitch who decides that restrictions don't apply to him." Mr. Ishida's voice was now dripping venom. Yamato's shaking increases.

"Yamato is not h-"

"Not bloody Yamato!" Mr. Ishida interjects angrily. "That damn asshole friend of his, Kamiya!"

I turn to Taichi, watching his features go from calm composure to deadly fury. If looks could kill-

"I'm bloody sick of his interfering!" Mr. Ishida continues, his voice becoming almost insane. "And don't think I don't know you're in here."

I hear his footsteps approach; panic flaring within me as I turn to Taichi for an escape plan. But I shut my mouth instantly as I see the look on his face.

_Dangerous…_

_Deadly…_

A sharp jolt runs up my spine as his eyes darken to black.

_Black as the darkest night…_

I banish my thoughts as I slip past him, desperate to get away from his gaze. I silently sit on the counter, placing my arms around the violently shaking Matt in an attempt to calm him, and hopefully, calm myself.

_Fear…fear…unadulterated fear…_

I shiver as I cling to Matt, frightened to the core of the unmoving Taichi. I gasp as the door bursts open, a ropable Mr. Ishida glaring at the object of his hate – our saviour Taichi. Matt screams and buries himself in my embrace, pure terror paralysing his form. I hug him tightly as Mr. Ishida approaches us, intent on ripping Taichi apart, limb from limb. But Taichi stands tall, even if Mr. Ishida's anger gave him the impression of being over six feet tall.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?" Mr. Ishida asks, a deadly calm anger in his voice.

"Bringing Yamato to his brother." Taichi answers, unmatched determination laced into his tone. Mr. Ishida's eyebrow twitches. I whimper silently.

"And what makes you the authority on what Yamato does, in this state?" Mr. Ishida asks, that deathly calm still unnervingly there.

Taichi lets a small smirk twitch at the corner of his mouth. "Because I know him better than you ever will. _Ever._" Mr. Ishida's face darkens. "Unlike you, _Mister_ Ishida, I actually know what's best for your son, and that fuckwits like you don't deserve the gift of children, let alone the care of Yamato. So why don't you just go back to work, and leave us alone, like you normally do."

Tears stroll down my cheeks as Mr. Ishida's facial expression becomes murderous.

_No, Taichi no…_

"_No!_" I scream as Mr. Ishida lurches towards Taichi in a fit of rage.

Time suddenly slows.

I watch in sheer terror as Mr. Ishida's right arm slowly retreats, his gnarled hand balling into a fist. I hear Matt gasp, before an ear-splitting scream escapes his parted lips and reverberates around the room. My heart races as the fist begins to make its descent towards Taichi, every fibre of my being in shock over what Mr. Ishida had become.

_"No!!!"_

Two guards suddenly appear from the doorway, shouting something my mind cannot comprehend and restraining the livid madman who was about to maim my brother. Time returns to normal speed as Mr. Ishida begins to struggle, cursing and staring directly at Taichi, his eyes saying more than words could.

_I will be back. And you will pay…_

My heart stops as the gaze is sent to me, and I whimper, backing up against the wall. _No…please no…_

Mr. Ishida sends Yamato one last disgusted look before he disappears with the guards, leaving a shaken Mrs. Takeshi sobbing quietly in the doorway.

"Are you okay sir?" one guard asks as he approaches a deathly quiet Taichi. Taichi continues to stare out the door, a lethal glare following the path of the guards. My attentions are drawn from him as a small, pained whimper escapes Yamato, his limp form collapsing into my arms seconds later.

"Yamato!" I cry, worry coursing through me instantly. Taichi breaks his gaze and runs over to us.

"Matt?" Taichi asks, lifting Matt's form out of my arms. "Matt?! Can you hear me? Shit, c'mon!" Taichi shakes Matt gently, his expression a mixture of anger and concern. I faintly hear Mrs. Takeshi calling for a nurse as I stare into Matt's colourless face, a violent wave of memories suddenly crashing down.

_Oh please, not again…_I beg, trying to maintain my slipping focus. But images of Yamato in a dark alley flash before my eyes, Taichi's unrest and pain following…

A small cry of pain drags me from my prison of memories. My eyes snap towards Taichi, my eyes widening in fear as I watch the colour drain rapidly from Taichi's face and another gasp of pain escaping his lips. My eyes flick to Matt's form Taichi was holding to prevent him falling off the bench.

"No!" I gasp, grabbing Yamato and hauling him off Taichi's injured arm. Taichi falls forward, grabbing the bench to steady himself as he tries to control the pain radiating through his arm. Tears form at the corners of my eyes as I watch my brother trying to maintain his strong façade. The nurse rushes in, and carefully placing Matt in a sitting position against the back wall shines a small light into his eyes. I jump down from the bench and throw my arms around Taichi, rubbing my hand up and down his back soothingly. _Oh no! Taichi! _ I pull back and take his right hand, gently rolling back the sleeve of his shirt to get a look at his wound. I inhale sharply as spots of red blood stain the white bandages.

"Oh Taichi…" I whimper, gently holding his trembling arm. I look up into his face, and find him staring intensely at something. I follow his gaze, and watch as the guard who had been standing at the door lift up the lifeless form of Matt and walk out the door, the nurse closely following. The second they disappear out of sight, Taichi tears his arm out of my grasp and whirling around, smashes his left fist into the wall behind him.

"Damnit!" He hisses, anger radiating off him. I wince, scared at his sudden outburst. A heavy silence falls between us, before a defeated breath leaves Taichi, his fist uncoiling and head leaning against the wall. His body trembles as I slowly approach him, slipping under his left arm to see his face. Tai pushes himself off the wall, looking at me as he turns and leans his back against the wall.

My heart breaks.

Upon his face is the most helpless expression I have ever seen. And the worst part is, it's on him. On Taichi, the Legendary Child of Courage. On the one person who has held everyone together. Everyone's strength.

One solitary tear trickles down his cheek as he closes his eyes and slides down the wall. I immediately drop next to him, looking into his distressed face. He opens his eyes, his clouded gaze staring straight into the cupboards opposite.

"I hate this so much," he breathes, his voice sounding as if coming from far away. I shiver as his expression contorts into anger.

"I hate this so much!" he hisses, burying his face into his hands, his fingers digging into his hair. I look up as Mrs. Takeshi steps silently into the doorway. Her expression dies as she finds the shivering Taichi. She looks to me helplessly and mouths, "Can I do anything?"

I shake my head, before an idea comes to me. I mouth back, "Call Sora." Mrs. Takeshi nods and silently leaves again.

I turn back to Tai, who was now shaking and clinging to his hair more desperately. I swallow the lump in my throat as memories of what happened not so long ago rise in my mind, and I reach out tentatively to touch Taichi's shoulder. Tai jumps at my touch and tear his hands from his face, looking around wildly, before settling his restless eyes on me, breathing heavily. I open my mouth to say something, but no noise comes out. Tai looks away from me, his gazing flicking restlessly around the room as he tries to regain control of himself and calm down. His arms began to shake as he holds them out in front of him, staring at them intently. A low whimper escapes him.

"Why now?" he asks, more blood appearing on his bandaged arm. My own emotions racing, I slowly wrap my arm around his shoulders, trying to comfort him. My heart beats wildly against my chest as Tai's anger flares again.

"Why?" He cries, smashing his fist against the ground. I flinch. Tai whimpers slightly as the pain reverberates through his wrist, his anger fading into helplessness.

"Why can't I be strong anymore?" his voice fades at the end. Tears stream down my face at his defeated tone, and I bury my face into his shoulder.

"But you are strong Tai," I mumble, tightening my hold around his shoulders.

"But I couldn't save Matt…" He whispers, his voice sounding strangely strained. I sit silently, waiting for more, realising this was something he'd been holding within him for _ages. _Tears prickle beneath my eyelids as it dawns on me that he had been brooding on this for all this time, and it had haunted him day and night that he believed he was too weak to stop all this.

And he had told _no one._

"Oh oniisan…" I whisper, burying my head into his shoulder. "Please stop blaming yourself. It wasn't yo-"

"Stop it!" he shrieks, pulling away from my touch. "Stop trying to make me feel better with lies!" His suddenly wild eyes glare angrily at me, half blurred by tears. "It _is_ my fault! I'm supposed to be his _best_ friend! And where the hell was I when he was so depressed?! I was kicking a _fucking _football! I was off celebrating 'victories' while he was struggling with his own life!" Tears now streamed down Taichi's face, his breathing more ragged. I sit in a fearful state, petrified of what Taichi is going to do. Taichi wipes his left hand across his eyes.

"Do you have any idea how that makes me feel…?" he mumbles, his voice forlorn and lost as he gazes intently at the floor, his body trembling from his previous outburst. "That I abandoned the closest friend I've ever had for a _pizza?_"

He drags his hand across his eyes again before letting it fall to the floor. His exhausted eyes rise to meet mine.

"I traded my best friend's life for…for a pizza."

ÜBER-CRAPPY CHAPPY! so bad…cries please don't hurt me too badly…I'll try to write a make-up chapter. I'm thinking maybe Matt's story or maybe Tai's…hmm…tell me what you think. Thank you for putting up with this crap, and please review! thank you…now I must run from Taichi before he guts me for writing such a horrid, so-called 'piece of writing' runs like the wind


	48. Chapter 48 cry

Disclaimer: for the 48th time, I don't own Digimon…

I've updated!!!! W00t! after such a long time, I finally found the inspiration to write this chapter. and it's nice and long too! 9 pages according to Microsoft™ Word :D yay!

I'd like to thank _all_ my reviewers for being so patient, and for reviewing my fic with such beautiful and inspirational reviews. I always love to sign into my email and find emails entitled Review Alert!' (as im sure a lot of you also like ) Thank you all so much!! your reviews are what keep me writing.

Thank you :)

_The lyrics at the beginning of the fic are from the song 'Emotion Sickness' by Silverchair. The lyrics belong to them and their respective record companies etc._

-::Never Let Go, Chapter 48: c r y ::-

_On my knees I'm…_

_On my knees I'm praying…_

_On my knees I'm…_

_On my knees I'm praying…_

_…_

_Distorted eyes…_

_When everything is clearly dying_...

_"T.K and Kari…"_

**"Matt…help me…Matt…help…"**

_"…sitting in a tree… "_

**"Tai? Can you hear me? Answer me! Please!"**

_"…K-I-S-S…"_

**"WAKE UP TAI!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!!! NO!!!"**

_"…I-N-G…"_

**"No…Tai…why'd you leave me…?"**

"Yeh, right. Whatcha gonna do Kari?"

**_"May I present to you…_**

**_my master…_**

**_the lord of this world…_**

**_Dagomon."_**

_…I am alone…_

_…All alone…_

_/Why suffer so much pain? Come with me…/_

_/Fall to darkness…/_

_…_

"Tai! Kari!"

I jump slightly, startled out of my reverie of…what…? I struggle to remember what was plaguing my thoughts that left me in a cold sweat. _Cold sweat? What _was_ it? _

"Oh Tai…"

My eyes widen as I realise someone had entered the room and was currently holding my brother. I blink, ignoring the dissipating cold feeling that had taken over during my…was it even a dream?

"Kari, are you ok?" Sora's gentle voice floats past my ears, nearly evading my attention. I turn towards her, hoping the bleary state of my eyes would disappear, and nod slowly. Sora gives me a critical look, but ignores my apparently obvious lie and turns her attention back to something else.

My world comes crashing back down as I realise where I am, and in the most painful of seconds, the past twenty minutes relive themselves in my suddenly unstable mind. All prior thoughts disappear as I turn my full attention to Tai, the feeling of panic once again settling in.

"Tai, it's Sora, are you ok?" Sora delicately asks, running her hand gently down his cheek.

My breathing stops.

_Too much…_

_It's too much…_

_Please make it stop!_

I jump slightly, blinking rapidly as my eyes burn from too much time without blinking. I look around dazedly, half-heartedly registering my surroundings.

Sora's house.

Well, Sora's balcony to be more precise.

I close my eyes to enjoy the breeze, breathing deeply to try to control my quickened heartbeat. Judging by the position of the sun, or lack thereof, I've been sitting here, at a loss to the world, for an hour. Remembering, rather painfully, the day's full events. I tense slightly as I remember…Tai. I turn slowly towards the glass doors that lead inside, distantly hoping to see him. All I see is Sora leaning on the kitchen counter, head in her hands. Her emotional turmoil fails to register in my dazed mind, and I slowly turn back to staring out into the darkening sky.

_…Tears form at the corners of my eyes as I watch my brother trying to maintain his strong façade…_

_…"Stop it!" he shrieks, pulling away from my touch. "Stop trying to make me feel better with lies!"…_

_…"I traded my best friend's life for…for a pizza."…_

I let out a choked cry as a violent tremor rips through my body, fuelled by raw, pent-up emotions of fear, helplessness and guilt. A cry of pain escapes my lips as my chest constricts and a painful coughing fit engulfs me. I double over in pain as the agonizing coughs continue to come, ravaging my throat and leaving my lungs feeling like they are on fire. I cry out again, tears streaming down my cheeks as I recognise the red liquid once again dribbling from my mouth. In the two seconds after, within which I desperately gasp for breath, I hear Sora crying out.

"No more! Please make it stop!"

I cry harder as her mantra reaches my ears, my coughs becoming more violent with the added stress. Each second agonizingly crawls by, each time I gasp for breath becomes harder, and each tear burns my eyes mercilessly. My body shakes ferociously as it struggles to cope. Just as I feel darkness creep over me, I hear the door being flung open, and a warm…something…draped around me, followed by two strong arms. My mind is too hazy to comprehend who or what is around me. My body continues to convulse as I somehow feel myself being lifted off the ground and a soft voice reaching my ears.

"Shh…"

My coughing calms down, my body somehow automatically relaxing with the warmth of the stranger's arms. I feel myself being placed on something soft, and a cool hand placed on my forehead.

"Shit…" I hear the person mumble. My slightly clearer mind begins to slowly register the voice. I open my eyes slightly, wincing as my eyes try to focus.

"J…Jyou…?" I asks, my voice rising in pitch as my chest and throat flare with pain.

"Yeh it's me Kari," the voice answers, caressing my cheek calmingly. One last cough emerges, and I collapse forward, unable to hold myself up any longer. Jyou quickly catches me, and helps to prop me up again. My head screams in pain as it is moved, and I begin to cry.

_It's too much…make it all stop…please…_

Desperate thoughts flood my mind, blocking out Jyou and his attempts to calm me down. However, before I can completely succumb to them, a calming, cold cloth is placed on my burning forehead. Exhaustion sets in, and my hysterics end.

"Kari, can you drink this?" Jyou's voice comes. I crack my eyes open and vaguely make out a glass. He holds the glass to my lips and helps me to drink, the bitter taste barely registering.

_mmmm….maomringo..rnnnn…_

All my thoughts are slurred as I succumb to sleep, pain forgotten.

: w i s h i n g : f o r : y o u : l i g h t : o f : m y : l i f e :

I moan lightly, cursed consciousness returning.

_Cursed? Why is it cursed?_

I groan lightly as I try to remember the answer to my own question.

**_…"Stop trying to make me feel better with lies!"…_**

I gasp, ripping my eyes open to forget the memory. I wince slightly as the light stabs my eyes, squinting around the room to try to distinguish my surroundings. As my vision completely returns, I find myself on the couch in Sora's living room, alone. A shiver runs through me as fear surfaces in my mind.

"Hello?" I attempt to say, my voice hoarse and dying out at the end. I swallow thickly, trying to calm the burning sensation in my throat. A door opens, and I turn around to find myself staring at Jyou, a relieved look upon his face. The fear disappears.

"Ahh…finally, you're awake," he says cheerily, walking around the couch to kneel before me. "How do you feel?"

I place my hand on my neck and whisper, "My throat hurts."

Jyou nods and walks towards the kitchen, returning seconds later with a glass of water, three tablets and a throat lozenge.

"Here, take these," he instructs, placing the tablets in my hands, "and after you're done, just take the lozenge. The tablets are what your doctor prescribed, and a painkiller for any pain." Jyou smiles warmly.

"Thank you," I mouth, not risking to hurt my throat anymore by attempting to speak. I take the tablets, enjoying the cold water running down my pained throat, and begin sucking on the lozenge.

"Jyou…is she ok?" comes a tentative voice. I turn around slowly, my head heating up at the simple movement, and find a bleary-eyed Sora half-hiding behind the doorframe. She freezes as our eyes meet.

"Oh Kari…" she mumbles, tears forming in her eyes. She pushes off from the doorway and runs over to me, wrapping her arms around me and sobbing onto my shoulder.

"I-I'm s-s-so s-sor-ry…" she stutters, her breath hitching as her tears fall down her cheeks. I gently wrap my arms back around her, slightly confused as to why she was sorry. I rub her back methodically, trying to calm her down.

"I-I just c-couldn't…I'm such a terrible person!" she cries, completely dissolving into tears. "I…I should've come t-to help…" she continues, her voice rising in pitch as her voice is laden with guilt.

_What is she talking abou--_

"Y-you w-were coughing so…so bad…"

My eyes widen as realisation sets in. A slightly blurred mental image of her holding her face in her hands and her screaming mantra suddenly arises in my mind. Along with that comes a painful stab to my heart.

_She's in such pain…because of me! Because I can't look after Tai…and because I'm so weak…oh…no…_

_WHY AM I SUCH A BURDEN?!_

I snap back to reality as I feel Sora pull away from me. I stare into her watery brown eyes, seeing the pain she was feeling inside. My heart breaks.

_Useless…_

_Utterly useless…_

_A burden…_

_And who wants a burden? Who puts her friends through psychological trauma? _

_Who can't even look after her own brother?_

_Or even look after the one she loves…?_

"It's not your fault," I whisper, my voice still not working. Sora blinks, confused. I suppress the pained shiver that was about to run down my spine.

"B-but…I'm the one who left you on the balcony!" she cries in protest, convinced she was in the wrong. I shake my head, tears threatening to escape as the inescapable reality shoots me point blank through the heart.

"I'm the one who should be apologising," I begin hoarsely. "It's my fault that I couldn't look after Tai. It's my fault that you're so…hurt emotionally." Tears stroll down my cheeks. "You've done so much for me, and all I've done is let you down by always getting sick and not looking after Tai properly." My breathing begins to hitch slightly. "After all these times you guys and Tai have…looked after me…and the one time I get the chance to look after you and pay you back for your kindness, I screw up!" Sobs are now racking my body as I struggle to continue. "S-so I'm s-sorry that I-I've bee-been such a burden!" I collapse into tears, sobbing freely into my hands. I can feel Sora's shock, even as I feel my chest constrict and a coughing fit come on. As the first cough escapes my lips, I feel Sora and Jyou jump into action, helping me to sit up and telling me to calm down, breathe deeply…

_…"**for a pizza…**"…_

_…Tai…don't leave me…_

_…please?_

Pressing a cold cloth to my head, Sora whispers calming words into my ear as I breathe deeply to calm down after the coughing fit. I shake involuntarily, a cold sensation washing over me as my forehead still burns. I turn my eyes wearily towards her, wanting to ask the question I know will hurt her.

"Tai?"

Sora freezes, stock still. I shiver slightly as I hear the water running freely in the background, signifying Jyou's frozen stature. My heart freezes as I fear the worst.

"Oh n--"

"He's in the office," Sora cuts in, although her tone is not helping ease my anxiety. She lowers her eyes, fearful of something; something I don't know I want to comprehend.

"He won't talk to us…" Jyou continues slowly from the kitchen, sadness laced into his tone. "He doesn't even acknowledge us…"

My heart sinks painfully. I bite back tears, fearing they could send me back into a painful coughing fit.

"Tai…" I whisper, leaning closer into Sora, misery washing over me.

"He'll c--"

The doorbell rings, startling the depressing atmosphere. Sora and I both turn around to face the door as Jyou answers it. My heart races as Jyou's hand turns the doorknob, time seeming to slow, making the wait all the more antagonizing.

"J-Jyou?" comes a familiar voice, laced with urgency and fear.

The door is opened fully as Jyou replies, surprised, "Mrs. Takeshi!"

The tired, worn, small figure of Mrs. Takeshi peers into the apartment over Jyou's shoulder.

"Is…Sora home?" she asks timidly, still trying to peer around Jyou's tall figure.

I hear Sora swallow thickly, trying to calm her own rapid heartbeat, of which I could feel beating in time with my own.

"I-I'm here," she says, her voice quaking ever so slightly. She removes her arms from around me, getting up and making her way to the door. I begin to shake as the atmosphere turns anxious.

"Please, come in," Jyou says, moving to the side and gesturing for her to come in. Mrs. Takeshi takes two steps in, before speaking.

"I-I need to see Tai," she begins as Sora reaches her, her voice shaking slightly. "It's about…Matt."

Sora's hand flies to her mouth at the sound of Matt's name, my heart beginning to race in fear.

Mrs. Takeshi's eyes fall to the floor. "He woke up not twenty minutes ago, in hysterics." Her voice was shaking more obviously now. "He kept crying out for Tai, completely terrified of what had happened to him. The doctors…they…they tried to calm him down, but he…kept fighting back. He…kept screaming…" A sob escapes her lips as tears begin to crawl down her cheeks, her body shaking. An icy feeling washes over me, panic following. I watch with wide eyes as Sora begins to shake, her face panic-stricken too. She suddenly turns and runs towards the office, pounding on the door.

"Tai!" she calls, her voice strained. Jyou comes over to me; somehow reading my mind and helping me get to my feet to get to Sora. Sora pushes open the door just as we reach her, and we peer into the dark room. Sora dashes over to the desk in the corner, kneeling down and peering under it. As my eyes become accustomed to the dark, I recognize the outline of the huddled form of my brother.

"Tai?" Sora asks tentatively, touching his arm gently. No response.

"Tai, Matt needs you," Sora continues, squeezing his arm gently. I cling tighter to Jyou, the sad atmosphere becoming overwhelming.

"No he doesn't," comes a quiet response. I jump slightly at the sound of Tai's voice, as does Sora.

"Tai…" Sora whispers, stroking his arm lightly.

"Please Sora…" Tai whispers, his voice pained. My heart plummets.

"Tai?" comes Mrs. Takeshi's voice. I turn, slightly surprised at the sound of her voice, to find her in the doorway, gazing sadly at the curled figure underneath the table. Tai raises his head at the voice, matching Mrs. Takeshi's sad gaze with one of his own.

"Tai," Mrs. Takeshi begins, unshed tears shining in her eyes, "I won't even begin to understand how much this is hurting you. I know how much you and Matt mean to each other, and this moment in time must be hard for you…" Tears begin to fall down her already tear-stained cheeks. "But please, Matt needs you. You have never failed him before. If you hadn't found him…" Mrs. Takeshi lets one sob free, quickly trying to regain control of her voice after. "He would've died. He's lost, Tai. He's scared. He needs you Tai." Mrs. Takeshi lets a small smile grace her tired face. "He'll also need you to help him move his stuff into my house."

Complete shock falls over the entire room. Wide-eyed and gaping, I turn to Tai to find my expression mirrored on his and Sora's faces.

"W-What?" Tai asks, confused and shocked. Mrs. Takeshi's small smile stays in place.

"I rang the Department of Family Services and told them what…happened." Mrs. Takeshi's smile falters. "I requested to have Yamato put in my care until further notice so he could recover in a…stable environment." She tries to recover her small smile. "So Mr. Ishida is no longer responsible for Matt, and all orders given by him to hospital staff are now void, and Yamato will not be discharged into his care as Mr. Ishida is no longer Matt's legal guardian."

The most unbelievable warmth suddenly spreads through me, my face lighting up with the most relieved, joyful smile. I let out a squeak of happiness as I let go of Jyou and dash over to Sora and Tai, throwing myself on Tai as I arrive, his shocked face turning into one of pure happiness. Sora joins the group hug, laughing blissfully.

_Matt's free…He's finally free!_

: w i s h i n g : f o r : y o u : l i g h t : o f : m y : l i f e :

yay! Done! Please review and tell me what you think! :)

OH! WAIT! –

1 question:

I don't know whether to up the rating on this fic to 'R' because of the language that's been used, and possibly will continue to be used in the fic. Please tell me if you think this fic should have an 'R' rating. Thanks!

May 2005 bring you every happiness :)

See ya!


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